A Cat’s Tail of October

“Your cat is on the bed!”

“Yeah.”, my eyes closed feeling every bit of it beyond measure.

“She’s doing her Alpha cat bit.  No worries, she won’t embarrass you.”

Shit.  Please not another one of these…

“That’s just weird.  Here I am humping your balls off…”

“Yes, and loving it too…”

“Oh yeah.  It kinda creeps me out…”

I fell asleep after we came.  I have been going hard for longer than most people live.  There was black metal in the background from my almost infinite finite playlist.

I felt out of body in another dimension.  In another body.  It felt like me and didn’t and certainly didn’t look like me.  What?  How am I seeing myself feeling like I am inside this body, not a share mind you?
I am now feeling the doom which precludes the insane plunge out of control into the vortex of the abyss.  It feels like a dry retching of blood and intestinal content gases.  Needing to vomit and not able.  It feels like an endless cycle of the pain of knowing I am dead, body still feeling it…

“Everything always made perfect sense when we connected in this trance.  Sorry, I know you like to call it a state.  However, this state comes on automatically with multiple anchors.  We don’t miss…”

I could feel the greatest pleasures we’d ever had…there seemed to be almost endless memories merging into one scenario. Now touching her again when something with a pungent stench grabbed her in less than a blur.  She’s gone wow.

A giant black paw with beyond razor-sharp claws now swiped out in front of me.

A great burst of opalescent slime squirted and filled the fields I perceived, and I felt like I was in a vacuum, safe.  The great claws swiped through all the doom and I awoke to a cold feline nose and what might soon become mewing. 

There she stands, ready to squeak meow, looking at me with golden eyes.  I feel safe.  The woman is snoring turned away from me on her side.  It feels comfortable.  We’ll have quite a bit more pleasure.

The tiny black Bombay Cat moved to the foot of the bed, laying down, her head in the other dimension.  On watch.

 

©2017mhumunculero

 

If only(LOL)

da touch

If only we would have watched the sun come up that one last time,

 

If only the scent of flowers would have reached our noses as the most fragrant smell ever tasted,

 

If only we can actually hear what we say to each other,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunity to know and to love each other in a most special and endearing set of ways,

 

If only we could have considered those other sets of choices for decisions we made,

 

If only we would have learned what it was like to feel loved and to know what made us feel loved,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunities in front of us and seen them as opportunities instead of solutions to problems,

 

If only in this moment and in every moment, we choose to cherish the special, beautiful moments life brings,

 

If  only we can now stop tolerating apologists in any form and meet them with fields of fact,

If only the apathetic in the land of quit will awaken from the trance of narcissisms and inaction to stand with a more universal set of values in loving consensus,

If only we wouldn’t have to turn ourselves into solutions and we could keep ourselves in a gaseous state, not believing in much not worrying about anything. Only moving forward believing that the best possibilities will go beyond the worst outcomes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

©mhumunculero2017

 

 

swirly

Coffee, coffee and devil’s cake too…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

amodern devil

The coffee shop opened at 5 am.

 

She had done an all – nighter preparing for another useless business task at a price that fills the pockets of her masters.

Someone else came up out of the earth at that moment. Heavy density, the origin like gravity, like the 4th force of the universe. He, She, it, animate, inanimate, phantom like yet harder and denser than the most dense matter from the stars. This life form he was dealing with had reached a its dead end. Of course, this often happens with many species. They reach a point where they cannot adapt and survive Will these humans evolve into another humanoid like form? Will they be able to adapt to the conditions they have created in their foolish lack of forsight?  

Not to worry, it would feel nice to do some whimsical things.

It reached into itself and pulled out several scenarios.

In this moment, a handsome young man made his way to the coffee bar. Behind him came our female friend lost in her anxiety over finishing her work project. She could smell him, sending a warm wave from her third eye to her groin. She saw herself with this man, whereupon he turned around. He very gently placed a hand in the small of her back. He looked into her eyes, and she pressed her mouth on his, touching the tip of his tongue with hers.

This was like a dream come true. How could this happen this way? How could this happen so quickly?

He ordered his coffee with his arm around her waist, she nuzzling her nose and lips into his neck. She felt very secure and confident for what she had to do in an hour and a half and he ordered exactly what she wanted without having to ask. They got their coffee and retired to a table outside obscured from the view of others. They took a few sips of their coffee, staring each into each other’s eyes, hands touching. She had on a skirt to her knees, no panties; a plaid with blues, greens and black with a black skin tight top, no bra. Her voice made his cock rock hard. She sensed it and opened his pants, freeing it in into the morning air. Her right hand found the tip giving the motion, which is perfect for him while his tongue probed her mouth, leaving the coffees on the table. Soon she was in his lap, burying his cock in her wet quim, and squeezing it with the muscles made fit from those hundreds of thousands of Kegels she did for years. They kissed wildly. Her vagina massaged that rock hard pulsing penis and felt the cum rising out of his balls several times, which she halted mid shaft, giving him the shivers of body orgasms she was experiencing. For some reason, this drew people walking by.

People pulled in, parked, getting out of their cars, getting some coffee of their own, some of them engaging in their own orgies and couplings. Meanwhile, on the street, two cars smashed head on with a fire truck close behind them, full of firefighters also after their coffee. They parked mid street, walked in and ordered before they extracted the injured and dead from the wreck.

Our friend from up out of the earth was laughing now. Here once again, some sex and death with a decrepit species. It wasn’t the great energy fucks he was used to in his interdimensional travels. Not so unlike other lower life forms he encountered, conjugating and fucking and exchanging genetic information. This is a species fast becoming infertile. Not only in body, also in thinking and neuro evolution. It felt pleasant to watch death filling the street with blood and shit from spilled guts, and to feel the fucking and the bodily fluid exchange from those who were oblivious to the carnage which had occurred outside.

Now in another dream on another day, the new POTUS and his cronies had gathered together to cause the destruction of the administration they hated so much. In this moment, the generals and the elite strike force they created needed for such a coup and execution, rushed into the room, weapons raised, killing all. At that point, another weapon was introduced, which disintegrates organic matter, and all traces of them vanished. Not even dust remained.

Back at the coffee shop on that other day, people changed partners and continued to fuck and fuck and fuck. The firefighters watched and drank their coffee. The cops showed up, the forensics team showed up. A lady coroner arrived who should have been a pin up in some men’s magazine from the 1950s. She grabbed the battalion chief on the fire truck who was another pin up from the calendars some cougar women hang on their walls. They grabbed each other and lay in the blood and shit and piss in the street and created a fuck fest spectacle that even the worst scat porn people will shit their pants watching….

 

 

 

©Copyright 2017 Humunculero

She does and can

She fucked me and I slept well.

Yes, she crawled in my bed with me after a couple of days of affection.  She lay next to me enjoying her sleep, having her rest.  And there in a presence of “maybe he’ll wake up and we’ll have a passionate three-day fuck and love fest”, I did wake up with a throbbing hurt.  It seemed so proud like a blurred vision for some and sharp for others of an ever-lengthening Priapus moment.  We celebrated each other. I knew her every inch, passionately in touch, smell and the vision and sounds of her writhing in ecstasy.

She had little use for my compassionate masculinity of well lived in BALLS.

She held tightly and kissed perfectly.  She grasped the explosions of my innermost fuckIloveyouandyouknowitastrue.

When she isolated and separated temporarily I got busy for my day like always.  It always worked in the end and at least served as a reminder about keeping on and moving forward no matter what.  In good faith, it didn’t work to take anything to do with her personally.  Both of us did what we thought we wanted to do almost regardless of consequences which got fewer and fewer in keeping our word to ourselves.  Yes, there occurred anger and consternation.  Yes, we argued at lower and lower volume. Yes, we planned better than make up sex.

I got to act like a force field around her vulnerability.  Just presence and appreciation makes it work.

It generates in parts from both of us.

She came through the field with creative action enthralling everyone in various ways.

 

 

 

©humunculero2017

Honesty and Dishonesty

The facts are in – almost everyone acts dishonest at least occasionally.

Seemingly most of it entails situations which don’t have much importance to the individual lying.

So those of us who think we practice complete honesty and transparency may find ourselves from time to time lying or engaging in something not quite transparent. 

The Matrix Experiment found most people will cheat to some extent

https://www.elsevier.com/editors-update/story/publishing-ethics/a-fascinating-experiment-into-measuring-dishonesty

 

“Over 40,000 people, from all walks of life, participated in The Matrix Experiments.

What did we find?

  • On average, people solved four problems but reported solving six.
  • Nearly 70% cheated.
  • Only 20 out of the 40,000 were “big cheaters”, people who claimed to have solved all 20 problems. They cost the experiment $400.
  • We also found more than 28,000 “little cheaters” who cost the experiment $50,000.”

One study has shown up to 60% of people lie

“The study, published in the journal’s June issue, found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation and told an average of two to three lies.”

https://www.umass.edu/newsoffice/article/umass-amherst-researcher-finds-most-people-lie-everyday-conversation

Men and women lie for distinct reasons:

““Women were more likely to lie to make the person they were talking to feel good, while men lied most often to make themselves look better,” Feldman said.”

” “It’s tied in with self-esteem,” says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. “We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”

https://www.livescience.com/772-lie.html

So possibly it boils down to self-esteem.  If our self-esteem gets mostly genuine and we practice impeccability with our words, thoughts and actions we might lie a little bit less.  In doing this it gets very helpful to realize while we aim for 100% honesty, the first step of this may come in remaining honest with ourselves and when we discern we have lied to ourselves, stop it at the level of belief and thought so the poison doesn’t flow well from our mouths.  This means non-judgement, positive or negative.  It also means we will do our best to practice feeling loving toward ourselves individually.

In my own life, this provided an opportunity to use honesty to improve my life.  In work, it meant telling the truth about products and services so customers could make their decision based on facts with little embellishment.  It also meant telling my friends and family the truth more consistently.  Mostly I found I had to say less.  I didn’t have to support anyone with false embellishments or unnecessary compliments as making someone feel better about themselves with a lie will sooner or later get discovered and my credibility with them would suffer and the relationship would weaken seriously.

I have looked at my beliefs about myself.  The teachings from parents as a child served as helpful contradictions.  My mother gave me statements about me being a special person with extraordinary talent and ability and my father told me I would never amount to anything unless I learned to work hard for everything and this would start with deprecating statements about my behavior.  I had a lot of shame to overcome and it’s not all gone.  This affords me the opportunity to work with it consistently.

A new belief which helped me had to do with first accepting I had ultimate worth on the eternal scale of value, this served me until the realization came regarding the nonexistence of self.  No self, no self-esteem needed.  This contradicted the pop psychology of its reverse theories.  In this model, all seems connected to doing and actions which come from beliefs, thought, and feelings.  Seemingly we a feedback cyclicity of thoughts producing feelings and behaviors feeding back on prevailing beliefs many of which wound up erroneous.  In changing the beliefs and stopping the limiting thoughts from guiding actions I had to do less to keep myself honest.  It also meant offering less up in unsolicited feedback, something which seemed to prevail in the “meetings” of the twelve-step cult I attended for a couple of decades.  One of the best actions I took had to do with getting away from it and the toxicity in words spoken there, when really the only thing which worked well came from the love in unspoken support.  Knowing I am loved and encouraged to love myself made me feel love for myself and others almost unconditionally.

Since moving on from there I have made beneficial and limiting decisions about my life and I dedicate myself, imperfectly, to improving beliefs, thinking, and behaviors and calling up humble, loving feelings for myself.  Much of this has come in taking better care of my body and general health.  Along the way I have been able to genuinely help some others, giving me more loving feelings in general.

In the ongoing set of conclusions, having a multifaceted set of perspectives helps me to less judgmental conclusions and statements.  Looking at what I say based on observations before I say them – this takes a lot of mindfulness to do it effectively and I have sometimes gone to almost angry extremes to defend my stated perceptions about situations only to have to make amends for the behavior in stopping myself from doing it again and making things right in my best way possible.

Honesty it seems, ought to concern the truth and truth comes from knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Reporting what happened, how I thought and felt seems like about all I can do regarding this.  Mostly, I strive to practice concise brevity as it gets too easy to slip into conjecture and verbose rhetoric.  In the utmost sense it looks like the less I believe about anything, the better as it leaves me more open to varied interpretations and perceptions which may have more objectivity.  If this seems self negating and contradictory, that will turn out a reader perspective.  I tend to characterize it more as a paradox like many other things human.

Everything-we-hear-is-an-opinion-not-a-fact.-Everything-we-see-is-a-perspective-not-the-truth.-Marcus-Aurelius

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2017MHumunculero

PLEASE DON’T

agood shot

 

There’s a lot of chatter about Islam and its evils.  Yes, the various sects of this faith have some radical variants which want to impose their rigid way of life on everyone.  When we compare this to radical evangelical Christians and their collateral murderous spin offs we don’t see a lot of differences.  They have all killed about the same amount of people.  I am wondering if the same can be said about Judaism on a proportionate basis.  At any rate, they have incited, mostly involuntarily, evangelicals and inspired radical Islamists to aid or destroy them.  Zionists have an equal part in the “monotheist” paradigm for their level of contribution. 

At any rate, if these religions get widely accepted as mythology and their codes debunked along with the mythologies of other religions – Hinduism and Buddhism are not exempt – we may have a chance to free up humanity long enough to save life on the planet.

That the Abrahamic mythologies affect at least 3.5B people on the planet seems great cause for a rational activism in educating the masses.  The religions are all myth.  There was no Abraham, no Moses, no Solomon, no Jesus, no Mohammed going to heaven – none of this.  Scholars have shown repeatedly that the old Testament is rife with myth until 600BCE and there’s no historic or archeological proof for any of the mythical figures or real historic figures and their mythos.  Most of these religions got established through warfare and the subjugation of peoples and cultures – yes even Buddhism.

This getting stated, can we afford sacred cows in our societies and cultures?  Should we allow ancient, outdated, repressive codes to determine our destiny?  Oddly enough, the erroneous beliefs and thinking have shaped the destiny of our world through a dark and distorted lens which does not practice what it preaches about the sanctity of life and the exaltation of the worth of life on Earth.  I have little wonder at the presence of the apocalyptic beliefs rife in most of the Abrahamic religions and their predecessors.  It looks a like a neurotic, human lemming delusion.  Our species – seeking unconsciously – to extinct itself as another failed species “experiment”.  The natural phenomena of industrialization puking poison into the environment posits this distinct possibility all around us.  If capitalism seems like an outgrowth of industrialized civilization, so far, the system has shown us a clear path to extinction.  These economies rule the world and destroy it as we live and still breathe.

The fact we have thought of numerous solutions to our manifested destiny can give glimmers of a way out toward survival.  Capitalism has it’s uses however, we don’t think runaway consumerism can do anything except destroy us as it seems to already have proved. Should our estimates turn out wrong, it won’t harm us and life on the planet to go to nonpolluting, renewable energies and the production of ecologically sound products and lifestyles.  Maybe we can do as Buckminster Fuller postulated.  Maybe Malthus had a point?  Nonetheless, overpopulation and our current consumptive human world seem the likely root cause of it all.  We really have not shown the significant improvements which will result in our survival and evolution to more adapted levels.  Maybe our collective genomes have reached their endpoint?

On the doomsday timeclock, it we accept the model, we are beyond the 11th hour and must motivate ourselves to act NOW.  We must clean up in many ways.  We must base our economic systems so that small groups of people and families do not control the well-being of our species as they do not have this in mind for the most part and this system stays in epic fail mode.  Greed and selfishness will spell our demise unless opportunity gets created for making the greatest profits ever without prophets.

We all know money must get out of politics.  We know countries don’t run well like businesses and the goals of most corporations and large private businesses do not coincide with the needs of the people who largely support them.  Religion needs to get placed in a recreational category and ought not get taken seriously except to provide a vehicle of transcendence.  We must get united behind our survival and enhancement of life on this planet as we won’t find ourselves able to leave it in time to avoid our extinction.  So, casting aside the divisiveness in “scripture” for the unifying principles which also seem inherent in our species might wind up the best solution.  We can spend our time caring for our planet and hence one another.  We can forge a new destiny other than our imminent demise.  Those who prove the thinking and beliefs causing greed and its irresponsibility will have to get pushed out of the way so we can live on.

It will only work if we can change our pursuit of pleasure into the pleasurable pursuit of our deepest caring for each other.

 

 

©2017mhumunculero

A THREE-FOLD FILTER

In my most existentialist beliefs, I learned to view my “self” (egoistic construct as coping mechanism?) in three relationships.

  1. my relationship to myself

  2. my relationship to others

  3. my relationship to God or divine source

All of this I had pondered as a teenager, who, having massive insecurities, questioned my consciousness and the illusion of existence.  Mahayana Buddhist philosophy seemed a way toward the inner peace of knowing I didn’t exist and nothing was real.  My job seemed about learning and practicing the eight-fold path, in the NOW.  Much of this awareness seemed to come from psychedelic experiences.  In short, the best trips involved the knowing and feeling of connectedness to the fundamental forces which unify the seeming ALL.  Later, in discovering the Eight circuits of consciousness in Leary’s model, it seemed I had bounced between the seventh and eighth circuits in the perceptions of in and out of body experiences, missing a much of the sixth circuit (metaprogramming).

The main divine connection felt like the motherlode of all, the feeling of complete connectedness which started physically and eventually got perceived as “pure” consciousness.  This perception and how it feels remains tangible and at once unfathomable and infinite beyond physical perception.  To label it otherwise seems like a blasphemy except for purposes of illumination.  It can take many forms which can work to model traits, actions and characteristics of various entities in the accomplishment of my purpose.  Finding purpose seemed the fundament, even though the “I” had little idea as such.

I acted in vain to define myself through others and my relations to them.  This reality tunnel mostly failed because I had little purpose and no realization of its presence or formation.  In this my ego gravitated to self-annihilation in a limited set.  This wound up in self-deprecation and self-loathing to the point of the desire to painlessly dissolve and disappear from this world.  This state proved painfully unrewarding.  It seemed like a denial of hedonism giving only frustration, shame, and depressions which seemed unending. Still trapped in the belief telling me intellectual understanding provided a solution and solace little progress occurred.

It must have happened via too much drug use in various combinations this thinking eventually said as the beliefs of parents, professionals and preachers worked as the predominant patterns.  Charismatic Christianity and the attendant nonsense served like a way out of the mess of all of it in my early twenties leaving only too much angst about life.  Finally, it gave way to some lesser materialist viewpoints of those around me and I once again took on the phony embrace of my perception of the American Dream.  My earlier pre-Christian views got submerged beneath the religiosity and my hypocritical practice of it.  Once again, more angst about life.

In my early and mid-thirties, it seemed apparent this way of living did not work well and my obligation to personal responsibilities slipped out the window.  Finally, at thirty-four years old a basic plan emerged.  Get away from the drugs and people who use drugs.  I did it and exchanged that addiction to the cult obeisance of the cult of Narcotics Anonymous.  This I embraced along with intellectual and contrived meditations of the Tao, seen and unseen.  The eight-fold path also got corresponded with the 12 Steps of NA, at first seemingly very open and accepting of other correspondences to the cult.  Fortunately, the most powerful tool in overcoming addiction – peer support worked to knock the malady down and got me to realize the self I had formed previously and presently.  I saw the folly of attempting to discover my “true self” and who I am or had been and the overblown significance in my belief system in those times.  After years of practice in those steps and living the lies of an apologist via tolerating believers, I knew I didn’t have a disease and the “program” as very toxic unless adapted to a more humane, less self-deprecating model.  I sought less and less peer approval in developing self-esteem and began to live my life as I saw fit with confidence.  It took about fifteen to twenty years to realize the program didn’t serve me and I didn’t need to count votes pro or con amongst peers who remained or left the “Program”.  In this a self-got realized and actualized.  I had an identity with less contrivance out of social, professional, and familial acceptability.  I had embarked on a more genuine relationship with myself with less ego traps.

Still, there seemed a great deal of selfishness so I consistently performed unselfish acts.  Some had ulterior motive in a caretaking sense, others out of duty to others, and others still for the joy of doing something unselfishly.

In the mid to late teens, I wanted to depend on others for my view of myself instead of using them as a reflection of my actions and attitude which I grew into later. It seemed to get out of control in my mid-twenties to early thirties due to self-delusions resulting in erroneous perception filters and erratic actions.  I took everything too personally, felt threatened constantly and used my words as poisoned munitions against myself and others – beliefs and behaviors which have taken many years to replace.  Today, still a work in progress.

I have much affection for many friends, family, and lovers.  I attempt to find out what makes them feel loved and if it doesn’t compromise my self-care, I give to them.  It gets a little tough when I engage with people who have behaviors which I tend to take personally so I strive to stay away from those situations and appreciate them at a safe distance.  In my drive to be loved by others, I must pay attention and determine if I am seeking reciprocation from the unwilling and willing yet incapable of it.  Most of my disappointments with others have origins in the latterly so constant vigilance with a minimum, if not devoid of self-judgement seem necessary.

From this value comes in taking care of me so I can serve others and myself in a realization of the all connectedness I feel when out of the self-created anxieties of daily life.

©2017mhumunculero

Zard origins or the beginnings of beginnings

azard land

 

 

“We have an interest in you Mondo…”

 

The voice was resonating into the top of his head, “What will you do when we tell you all? We must have to start somewhere in your own terms. Our race has evolved an inter-species from two species of different worlds and the primordial human genomes as we can explain it to you. We are related to you more than you know and you can have offspring with us in our female like forms. We have seven differing “sexes” as you might call them. Five of them are more female like than male with three exclusive female multi sexes when have seven complimentary pairs of chromosomes defining sex. All of them work mutably with conscious input…”

“I’m absorbing, as you can tell, this shit just fine. If you’re looking for a sperm donor, I think my swimmer count is low, owing to the age of the germinal epithelium and its ability to reproduce those little bastard makers. I find it interesting you’d want to breed with me. My DNA is loaded with most of the human DNA on the planet as you no doubt know. As long as I get to fuck these females and it’s a good time, I think I’m in…”

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAH…human males, always thinking about the neural payoff. And of course, we know you give off theta and gamma waves which heal and transform and create interspecies larvae in the information stream.”

“Should be a hella good time with you lizard bitches, I can feel me pulsing like a longer jizzing version of a boar cock. Squirting out little entities filled with the accumulated tasks and the abilities to make them real outcomes. We’ve turned shit into shinola and bio lead into bio platinum, hate into love, and indifference into universal compassion. We’ve made nightmares into daydreams and daydreams into new worlds where Gods are monsters and Monsters eat Gods like I do demons. Roping them and earring them down like horses and calves. Yeah, this is a fuckfest magical rodeo complete with chimeric spawn. I think I am gonna sink my teeth into your scaly, slick, soft neck skin and hold you like a stud horse mounting a horsing mare… Oh yeah.”

She-it-they grasped him gently with their sharp razored talons and breathed an ether into his mouth, anus, and into his urethral opening, causing his transformation and the sprouting of a second cock slightly below his current member. They got hurt my balls hard and she-it-they grabbed both, sliding them into her cloaca which bifurcated and sucked up both cocks, elongating them to dual cervices. She then began a vaginal serpentine series of undulations on his penises, moving in harmony, teasing and testing the very best she-it-they offered. After many long moments of variations and new synthesis a load like he’d never shot rose out of his balls which had turned greenish purple grapefruit sized. She-it-they writhed in their own multiple sets of ecstasy you’d have had to have been there to understand as it was multidimensional in content. , he contributed and she manufactured and delivered it.

Two hours later.

“Goddamn! You make my

shit explode. I feel like I could fuck a hundred more times and like I am a dead ton of flesh on the downside shift.” He had rolled off her backside and she smiled back at him, a lizard woman turning fashion model, black metal star gorgeous now with a seemingly singular physicality.

“Mondo, this is not all we will do with you. We will lay an egg and hatch a lizard bitch internally. The egg will hatch out a monsterling which fast grows into a creature of a similar look to me, complete with mature mentality. For as you shall learn this means works as one of our portals to recreating and synthesizing our previous forms. In this we find a longevity approaching immortality. We come from interior realms in the earth’s core. A network of cities beneath the earth, completely self-sustaining and networked with our kinds throughout our meanders through this galaxy and others…”

“Yeah, I sure feel something more than the four worlds I already walk in now. Like I could warp into other dimensional realms more easily than the most technical magic I have ever used or developed before this. Wow, I just went and came back…it seems I left for quite some time! What the fuck???”

She beguiled with a smile a voice with crappy small guitar amp sounding reverb. He almost expected her to sport a paper mache head of some lizard from a bad, 1950s sci-fi grade z film.

He had been in a different body and part of a set of many minds, now a set of different bodies with many identities living in different worlds, shifting between them at intervals the average human would see as so many fast occurring images like blurred video in analog translations. At once, a colonial set of higher life forms with a networked consciousness, riding on information streams.

And now he was that old Star moving from star cluster to galaxy clusters to the garden where the little flowering star had come back to orbit for a great long span of star moments. She shined upon him and inside of him and birthed little stardust gas clusters which became new galaxies out of her little flowering blue – green starbursts. He absorbed the essence of all this and lived this like star occurring living forms do and do and do…

 

 

to be continued.

©2017mhumunculero

recovery

recovery

[ri-kuhv-uh-ree] 

Spell Syllables

 

  1. the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or takenaway.

 

  1. restoration or return to health from sickness.

 

  1. restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.

 

When we discuss the term in terms of overcoming addiction we know the consensus definition in the majority of addiction “recovery” communities comes from the disease model:

  1. restoration or return to health from sickness.

When many discover addiction is not a disease this term gets erroneous. 

Most will apologize by taking on

  1. restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.

However, this is out of context.

When we return, or move forward to another state from those which occur in addiction it has to do with belief and behavioral modification after detoxification in the case of drugs/alcohol and moderation or abstinence in other behavioral variants like gambling, sex, food, and etc.  Each of which may require a peculiar first strategy.

In moving away from the highly unsuccessful 12 Step model – it’s not attractive to most who have a problem with addiction, mostly having to do with the religiosity involved and the cultist atmosphere in meetings along with the attendant brainwashing.  There are some out of the many who experience addiction whom have had success in overcoming addictions and went on to live productive happy lives.  Most of the data indicates people stop and change on their own without treatment or without a 12 Step program.

The numbers are too woefully small to give great kudos to the Stepper model.  It seems best described as working for some.

Moving beyond the latterly model (I used it for 23 years and found addiction a symptom of erroneous beliefs and traumatic imprints, leaving the value of twelve steps as a superficial fix instead of a complete renovation) I didn’t have a spiritual problem as there was no spirit involved except attitude and the relativism of terms as such had to get cast aside. I had a problem with self-loathing which a God could not change.  It made me want to check out of reality.  I woke up every day hating myself and life, basically staying busy, just to stay busy and getting loaded hoping to somehow make my life bearable.  I had successes more than failures and some very acute “bottoms”.  The reality seemed a chronic depression enhanced by drugs.

Rather than go through the many regimens I worked to get this out of me I can tell you it boiled down to assessing how well I had loved and respected myself and how I would improve it. 

I decided to love myself and my life and over time things changed and got better so if a lapse in my self-care occurred I learned to right myself at some point and experience greater improvement.  To this day, I am still improving not expecting perfection (another erroneous term IMO).

Key in these things, I believe, comes from making a decision and developing a plan to stop, moderate, change behavior and belief, and learn to love and appreciate life.  Practicing the cherishing of ourselves on a consistent, daily basis has given great benefits.  For me the biggest changes came when I decided my attitude had everything to do with my treatment of myself and others.  Not thinking the best or the worst – staying out of judgements of any kind and sticking with impeccable belief, thought, and action patterns and realizing mistakes will be made and new strategies can develop from them.  Productive strategies which give collectively beneficial results.

I have also seen the value of loving support from those who truly love us, no strings attached.  I also believe this has an integral part in conquering addiction and learning to live a life of self-love and appreciation inside an outside this bag of flesh, housing consciousness.

 

©2017mhumunculero

Recover from recovery-a real strategy

ADDICTION IS NOT A PROGRESSIVE, INCURABLE, FATAL DISEASE…MOST PEOPLE OVERCOME IT BY DECIDING TO DO SO…

Rather than therapy(which can help if result oriented, as process oriented is not so effective, is too costly, and takes too long), 12 Step Programs, and of course religion and spirituality.  Here comes a new strategy based on my own habit breaking techniques and those gleaned from others…

This is a basic treatise on this…I may cover each in depth in further blogs…

1.  Garner complete self acceptance without judgment.

this may seem overwhelming for those believing they have little self worth, accepting shaming and guilting from others, and doing lots of self deprecation.  A good technique can have great effect by writing down this problem and how you would advise yourself to get out of it.  Myriad ways that work are easily accessible in free books and on the internet.  Another useful technique is to find friends, associates, and family who care for you and have them tell you your positive character traits while you write them down…you can now make a list of these, stare into the mirror before bed and prefix each with the short phrase-I am-saying them out loud while staring deeply into your eyes…prefix these with the vocalized affirmation…I now completely accept myself without judgment…after this write down how this will cause you to change into a person loving oneself unconditionally

2.  Admit you have a harmful habit-look into it, explore it, write about how this has affected you and what your life will be like without it.

Very important: write out how you will break the habit love yourself and manage your affairs…

3.  Find people who will support you without judgment who will listen to you and only give you feedback when you ask for it.

REMEMBER AVOIDING TAKING ANYTHING PERSONALLY FROM ANYONE AND REALIZE THIS IS ABOUT THEM AND NOT YOU

4.  Learn a form of mindfulness meditation, exercise moderately, adjust to a healthy, toxic free diet—do this in ways that fit and produce beneficial results.

5.  Develop a completely new lifestyle away from the addiction supporting lifestyle. 

Write down what the old life was like and how your new life will reflect new beliefs, behaviors, thinking patterns, and a supportive environment.  Walk through this in the future from successful behaviors yourself or even others you identify with have used to make great success in this, even when you practiced the old addiction habit.  In practice of the new beliefs and behaviors give ourselves kudos and accolades whenever we have made progress…take stock of the progress and add to it in developing more productive future outcomes.

6.  Take complete responsibility for all actions, feelings, thoughts, beliefs at all times.

Remember, you probably chose addiction, now you choose to overcome it and create new beneficial patterns away from it..  You don’t need the drugs and self destructive behaviors even though they may seem useful survival patterns.  In doing this there comes FREEDOM from self destructive concepts.  Addiction, while it may cause pathology is in itself, haa never been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt a bonafide disease in and of itself and steer clear of the erroneous, destructive concepts claiming it as such.  They’re not good metaphors either.  Self affirm in the mirror everyday.

Create emotional and physical boundaries which you do not allow encroachment upon and reinforce, especially with family…you can love them from afar. 

Also:  REMEMBER THIS WHEN DEALING WITH NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY...

 

WHAT I THINK, WHAT I FEEL, WHAT I DO OR DON’T DO IS ABOUT ME NOT YOU.

AND

WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU FEEL, WHAT YOU DO OR DON’T DO IS ABOUT YOU, NOT ME…

 

REMEMBER YOUR HAPPINESS AS A STATE…CALL UP THAT STATE NOW…INCREASE IT…STEP BACK OUT OF IT…STEP BACK IN INCREASE THE STATE AND ANCHOR IT WITH A GESTURE OR A VISUALIZATION ON THE WAY TO ITS ZENITH…REPEAT SEVERAL TIMES.  STEP OUT DO SOMETHING UNRELATED AND MAKE THE GESTURE…TEST AGAIN AND AGAIN REPEAT THE ABOVE STEP UNTIL YOU CAN BE HAPPY ANYTIME YOU DESIRE…

More on this shit later…

Water drops on green leaf
Water drops on green leaf

Once upon a Zard…she had pale gray green skin, very pale

white reptile

“Fuck! I keep waking up.  I am having dreams about rooms in unfamiliar houses .  My skin is different in these dreams.  I have a ridge running down my back.  I hear voices in a language which is not like well-formed human words.  It’s like a combination of hissing and clicking with some phonetic enunciation.  I keep seeing an age old series of images like a mural of some alien, somewhat humanoid species looks like…”

He was thinking:

Must be some subconscious artifact having to do with a changing identity…she’s been very distant.  Like a savant choosing to stay in other worlds…

“Honey, do you think I am narcissistic?” She looked serious and then gave a hesitant smile.

“Sometimes you are a bit…we all are a bit, the I love myself in a conditional set of ways too much so…” I smiled at her thinking about the gateways I could open if she’d let me.    I had never seen a prater human intelligence I couldn’t build rapport with…maybe I would?  After all, where is the opportunity?

She was starting to get annoyed, “I feel like I am neglecting others to feed myself and

reptilian

still feel I need more…”

I had no response…

except, looking in her eyes telling her, I am here for you because I don’t abandon me, etc…”Partner, tell me more…”

We had just begun our workings.  My work involves creating a new, more innovative species of terran.  Hers involves reviving an old one and knowing the secrets which may be lost.  Gaining characteristics via invoking the old forms and the strategies of their successes in thriving amongst humanity.

My experiences with the other-than-humanoid have drawn me toward the new species angle as the old ones, when they mix with us do not produce anything with lasting potential.  So, it must need the creation of life forms which do not necessarily need the old DNA.  I mean that’s all just waveform and particle anyway, right and all of that in the matrix of realities may, on a good day, just wind up a metaphor.  Right?

“I am filled with thoughts and dreams of those who will come after me, bringing me to them.  I feel part of them.  I think they will reveal themselves.” She looked at me as if far away, weighted by gravity to some lower elevation, deep in the crust of the earth in zones we cannot fathom.

I had been there.  Actually, these places did not occur in the physical Earth we know but as a dimensional warp into an alternate Universe where the mantle of the planet had cooled.  This is why science has not found them yet.  The technology is not there….YET.

“These beings are reptilian.  Evolved almost in humanoid form.  They tell me their civilization is millions of years old.  They have minimal technology as they have developed their nervous systems and physical systems to shift matter without great upsets to the overall balance of things.  They have been able to thrive because they can work with the physical and vibrational forces of the multiverse. Their expertise and elegant technology is far beyond ours!”

“Wow, that’s very cool sweetie…Will you let me in so I can evoke their presence and manifest them.”

“Maybe.  However, I need to know more about them and what they mean for me to them.  I need to know them more deeply.  They told me they don’t mind you…”

“OK.  I will lay back and wait…,” Knowing full well I would not.  I would go through her into them.

She was masturbating.  I feel her every touch and movement. She thought of me and others and lovers among these beings.

skyra_fierce___puzzle__13_by_luigiix-d7mz2p7

I made the conjuration of the inter-dimensional vortex.  My double, encased in dark matter and powered with the lattice of dark energy went through her sexual nervous enervation and into the gateway.  The tunnels twisted and turned and I arrived in a group mind of many personalities, seemingly devoid of ego.  They operate exclusively on a unified purpose of which their individual purposes reflect.  It seemed so unique, I had trouble understanding it.  This egregore had so much unity; my lack of it, limited my comprehension.

They invited me.  They showed me the opening of understanding.  It required complete self-acceptance and Universal acceptance of things seemingly known and unknown.  I resisted.  I let go.  I resisted.  I let go…I saw no harm there.  I saw harmony in a way I’d never experienced as a human.  Their ways and means of living came more clearly into focus.  You will have to meld with us to understand and this will take long experience.  Leave your double behind and we will send it when it seems full enough for you to absorb the information.  Your partner will need to do the same with the hologram as you call it, for her deepest understanding.  We trust her curiosity and know she will grow from us and we will love her as she survives her immersion.

I asked about this and the unified voice answered, “She cannot tell you now.  Our information streaming into her will be different than yours as you are a matured male and she is a woman with a certain as you say, ‘androgyny’.”

They laughed at our terms and their lack of ambiguity from their points of view.

And so I received an upload which I can only give you in part at this point:

 to be continued…

©2017MHUMUNCULERO

 

reptilian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what you imagined

The swagger,

The stumbling drift,

A slurred thought,

Laughter at someone’s hopeful fantasies

Of Death,

The release,

The big sleep…the resting which never ends.

The moments of life pass and come again

In the eternity which validates itself in

Perceptions

Confabulations of the egos

Which influenced belief

Whence came the lands of

Suspension of beliefs and no beliefs

Just tools for more pleasurable moments…

 

©2017mhumunculero

Appreciations

“God fucking damn it!” It came out as a scream at the top of his lungs. He looks again at the leaf pattern in the teacup.
She keeps laughing, “Your fifteen seconds of fame are about to come to an end!”

His face got more and more so crimson in the bright light flooding through the bay windows of their home. They’d bought and paid for everything they owned free and clear with revenue from their creativity, joint and separate. He has a great deal of pride in this. She loves what she does and the work they do together, and the ways in which he works as a solid force of appreciation, present so very consistently. She believes in him and the beauties of what he does. These appreciations go beyond their attraction for each other which by the way have not waned over the years.
He doesn’t like changes not going his way and now the paradigm of his work has come to an impasse which probably necessitates a complete redesign.

No longer angry, his silence has turned to rage.

“Fucking sales of my work have dropped! Why have I lost my popularity in the market? What do you think partner? Does your input in our collaborations keep us buoyed with good revenues there?”
She looked at him with a strength of affection, “Maybe we ought to look at reviews and see what the deterrent seems to be?”

He went a little white in the face and his expression sank looking like shame. “Maybe I haven’t got it on my own anymore. Maybe it’s just the synergy between us which works.”

She smiled lovingly, “No dear. Maybe we need to wait until we have a factual basis before you evaluate. I think your reactions come from hurt feelings and you can be more understanding and compassionate looking in this mirror.”
“You’re so smart and loving not to mention my preference in womanly beauty…”

She wrapped her arms around him from the side and kissed his left cheek and neck. He knew her and support remained strong as ever.

After some surveys and days. He went into meditation and divinations. They gave the messages he had to change to survive and he ought to find some more creative ideas he like which might appeal.

It was 1130pm, he awakened to her kisses and caresses. Inspired they made love and fucked until past three. She fell asleep. He went into the studio with words and riffs. He got started and it felt purposeful.

 

©2017mhumunculero

The Secret World of the Uncoupled

Bright jewels stars in a pond,

Ears tasting bars of more than blues

Jazz superseded

Somewhere in the mind of genius

Where art expresses in music

In the dreams making realities awake and asleep

Where trumpets and saxes seem like feelings

And voices of happy and sorrowful females the melodies of piano and guitar

 loved and left

 and remained with

Till death did part us.

 

©2016mhumunculero

GODZ N BEARS

Hungry like the spring awakened bear am I,

Fed long through the night on the fat of your landing,

Aimed at the self-hate and deprecation of the shame collected,

A target laid to rest in an old world holiday of dead matrons,

Leftover roadkill from the worst of the chivalrous age,

Believing men are worshippers of the narcissistic and immature of women bled,

Devotees of lost dreams and fantasies at once fulfilled and discarded,

Unable to castrate the King of Bears and Alpha Doggers

 

Try as she would whilst her flesh I pounded in not taking these tirades so personal,

She moved out my doors to psychics and impotent old men who’d lap up the droppings of her dysfunction in families of dissed order,

To her sister, blistered and left enslaved,

unrescued,

Lost in her own dysfunctional peasant dream,

Oh how this Bear left that to conjugate a mother bear and left to find Freya with a new Emerald necklace,

My blue cape furling around me and my biggish hat rakish over the eyeless socket seeing from the bottoms of the well of Wyrdnesses,

Yes I am a monster of love delivered as promised, functional and far away from this would be, half dead, aged princess,

Deluded by ghosts of regret and missing the dead without acceptance.

The lower half of life with little joy has gone from me in an instant,

Decided and chosen by love for myself,

Away from those cortisol stressors and depressors

And adrenal exhaustive poor health,

Watching the fooled young, making premature future, spawning the innocents into a dying world,

Yea, I have crossed the abyss and the bifrost bridges, shaking ice from my furs, keeping sharp of claw and tooth for new love,

Fierce and tender,

Baited and well breathed,

Mated sevenfold to the maidens of Diana…

 

 

 

©2012 mhumunculero

The gratitude of loving in sex and otherwise

 

In my college years I aimed my curriculum at Veterinary Medicine.  I pursued what my parents wanted for me.  I didn’t chase my dreams – writing, art and photography.  I had an education trust. School (ASU) was cheap like $160.00 /semester and books.  However, I had to live so the trust gave me a nice little stipend and I went to school for six and a half years including graduate school.  It was a complete paradigm flip from art to science and I did it and loved a lot of the knowledge and direct laboratory experience.  My inheritance bought me a new, in 1972, Datsun 240Z for transport and I drove the piss out of it for eleven years.  I drove ninety on the freeway everywhere.  We had KDKB, the cutting edge underground station and KJZZ and I had a cassette player in there so I was tuned.  I still aspired to be the best front man Phoenix turned out ever and didn’t even own a microphone.  Deep inside me I had what I believed was unresolvable emotional pain so relationships with friends and women were tough. 

I craved the deepest connection with a woman and yet when awesome women presented themselves I would have great sex with them and distance the next day.  During a two year period, four women proposed to me.  They were all highly valuable people with excellent integrity and made something of their lives inside and out.  I kept myself from getting what I dreamed of having because of a weird, depressive self-hate.  I used inordinate amounts of chemicals, hoping they’d make me feel better and my whole emotionality seemed like a gloomy toilet full of misgivings which didn’t flush.  Every so often I would meet some woman who totally cleaned my clock and I somehow doomed myself out of her.  Some of these women I am still friends with today.  I love them with the intensity of any partner and have no desire to fetter them to me.  It’s very fulfilling to have love with no possessiveness and unconditional friendship which could easily be sexual again and has been upon occasion.  I have fully realized long ago how we live and die alone and it’s natural even though there is this connectedness we all feel.  No persons, regardless of their physical connections will stay joined.  It’s all ephemeral gone like life goes – a moment at a time. 

_______________________________

It has taken years of work on myself, experiential, writing and answering self help, self esteem questions.  Also, a great deal of interactive work with others in self development trainings and best of all NLP training, workshops, and clinical.  Today, I am opened fully, sometimes it seems too fully, expecting better out of those who do worse.  In retrospect, it’s all paid off, one way or another.

_____________________________

Many times when I am having very connected sex with a woman I have a profound sense of joy similar to our emotional and intellectual connections we experience privately and socially.  These, to me, posit as my most favorite experiences.  They are unparalleled journeys into sustained bliss.  I feel her giving to me with her affections and I surrender fully to them in very receptive ways, allowing myself to fully appreciate the giving and the pleasures I experience.  I give to her in such a way and she responds deeply, passionately and in her sustained orgasming.  The appreciation I have for her in these ways gives me great fulfillment in the creating of pleasure – part of my life’s purpose.

To you whom we have the pleasures of enjoyment now, before and sooner rather than later, I salute you and what you do and what we will give to each other sustained in the eternity of the moments making this life.

 

 

©2016mhumunculero

Forgiveness – an unnecessary term

aachecks

 

 

 

 

 

Over and over we see blog posts and articles telling us forgiveness is essential for self-development and inner peace.

Forgiveness winds up rarely necessary and in the best cases seems arbitrary and apologist in context, opening the door when boundaries are weak, for more abuses.

Forgiveness has little necessity in my experience, when I can keep my word to myself and not take things personally which people, organizations and institutions do in the course of their aims and behaviors. 

When I vow to myself to practice discretion in all my affairs without letting it degrade to paranoia by making assumptions about a situation or person, I can find the practical, most logical path and avoid or deal with people and situations. 

This means I diligently watch people.  I have to watch people, their speech and behaviors and observe their consistency.  When their behavior does not match their statements and claims consistently, they can be avoided or only have limited influence in my affairs.  When they lie, cheat, and steal I strive to avoid them at all costs and if there’s a necessity in dealing with them, strict boundaries and limited interaction wind up a must.

Recently, I got a call from someone who had lied extensively and stole from me while gas lighting to others about me, attempting to normalize their behavior by projecting their lack of integrity and dishonesty back on myself.  The person repeatedly stated how sorry they feel for these things they had done and asked if I would be interested in friendship.  I did not reply to this, except to state what my interests were in a relationship.  I further stated and reiterated how apologies are hollow without actions to right the wrongs committed and asked how this would get accomplished. Duh, if you don’t replace items lost, stolen, or destroyed, and treat me with integrity, apologies have little value. The answers given were satisfying; however follow-up has been poor – consistent with previous behaviors and the lack of integrity, honesty, and decisive actions taken.  I find it best to wait and see, without judgement or condemnation, what may come next

The problem here has to do with trust, an essential element in forgiveness along with understanding and compassion.  I have learned in practice, trust, for the most part has little use in the course of human affairs as it gets viewed with too much idealism to have lasting value.  People do what they do and I can at best, work with probabilities of them acting consistently.  It seems, in my perception, most people have consistent patterns of behavior.  When I slow down to observe them, I can discern what might have a probability of a person performing on promises or agreements.  This means I interact with them accordingly.

When they have acted as the person above, I attempt to wait and see what they’ll do.  If they lack transparency and consistent integrity which practically matches my own I work hard not to make assumptions and expectations based on how I want them to behave with me.  This means I let go and move on to more consistent interactions which have win – win, mutual benefit.

Sometimes this has happened with family and it can have poor import when I expect too much.  There’s one close family member I have who I cosigned a loan for, stipulating he’d make all the payments in a timely manner until paid in full – which he did for a time.  As time went on, he lied about making payments and when the chief collection agency called me I found he was 78 payments behind on a $1500.00 balance.  He lied repeatedly about setting up a working payment plan with this entity and is still behind, leaving my credit in arrears.  When I contacted the collection agency and made a settlement offer, they did not respond in writing to my written request, wanting to use telephone collection tactics to attempt working with me.  Since all this, I have ended my relationship with this family member until he makes good on our agreement and either pays off the loan and allows me to clear my credit or the company mentioned deals with me and the family member pays me in full.  Based on behavior, I find it reasonable to think both will perform consistent with previous behavior.  \

I have also found others who maintain relationships with individuals I mentioned and those performing similarly will practice apologist behavior regarding them.  I observe them with caution from a distance.

Forgiveness only serves well when apologist beliefs tell me I will need to forgive in order to let go and extinguish any resentments.  I have found this a waste of time.  When I don’t take the person’s behavior personally and don’t waste time and energies staying angry and developing resentments and keep my word to love and honor myself, I don’t have to forgive them and have fewer feelings and thoughts regarding the situations.  Very simply, I let go.  In the same vein, it does not mean I cease pursuing the reparations and amends of behavior from the violators.  Usually they are pursued unceasingly and dispassionately until I have established an end to it.  This means I persistently ask for and if possible seek legal means to achieve satisfaction without judgement of personality and public or internal condemnation.  Letting go means I let go of anger and resentment and pursue relentlessly out of principle.  Should those ends not find satisfaction due to the inability of the offenders to make right their offenses, all pursuits will suspend or cease without enmity or thought of revenge.  It also means, friendship will remain optional based on subsequent behaviors.

©2016Checks

delete

The Next AMERICAN (WET) DREAM –

billndon

Here’s your “out of thin air” ludicrous conspiracy theory of the week.

Once upon a series of moments in the political past, Trump and the Clintons were great pals.  He secretly invested in some of their foundation’s enterprises and reaped the benefits of exclusive referral introductions to profitable investment revenues.

Somewhere in the last two years Bill and Donald had a couple of conversations.  The latter explained to Bill he needed to rebrand himself and double or triple his billions, most of which were tied up as property assets.  Bill explained that Hillary needed to be President and maybe Donald could help by running with a ridiculous, outlandish campaign based on a plethora of the many things wrong with America.  He would use his best hypnotic language to engage the middle class white people who’d been left behind by Reaganomics and Neoliberalism.  He would appeal to their rage and disappointment and appeal to the hatred of government instilled in them by Repugnikans from Nixon forward.  He would appeal to all the Obama and Hillary haters, the bigots, the xenophobes, and the sexists through their victims’ eye view of the USA.

He would spin the big lie and gradually be exposed as by far the worst of two options.  The DNC Clintonites would take of the rest.  Trump might get the nomination and foil all the wacko extremists and weak kneed conservatives and moderates.  If so, he would self-sabotage his campaign, give the election to Hillary and rebrand himself with millions more potential customers.  The Clintons would extend their dynasty through much controversy as always and find themselves further beloved by the middle class and oppressed, all the while padding their beds for retirement after eight years.  This would cause the party of Lincoln to burn and rebirth, sucking back the moderates and realist conservatives into their fold and rebuilding with new and more appealing white people candidates.  This would cause the emergence of the Democratic Party as a moderate center – center party and give the Greens and Progressives the grass roots impetus to become the dominant party, working hard to save the Earth from climate change and to give the workers greater ownership in the means of production.

Oh well, I can dream, right!

AS ROME BURNS

AS ROME BURNS

 

You’ve got geodes on your nails,

You have abs like a pole vaulter,

You find yourself immersed in reality waste of time TV,

You’ve met men and don’t know it,

You want a leader and you won’t lead yourself,

Rome is burning and bags of saline on your chest and cock surgery do not help,

 

Rome is burning, the forests are dying,

fools believe these apocalyptic fairy tales,

They think they’ll be lifted into heaven

And don’t see their kingdom within the now,

And a disgrace to Orangs everywhere thinks he can lead a country,

Rome burns and he wants the next batch of profits,

 

Some people seem to appreciate and feel each other,

Some people seem to listen,

We don’t need more babies from you who don’t parent yourselves,

We won’t need any more self-indulgences,

Puking carbon into the sky,

Rome is burning and the oceans are dying,

 

Some of us do somethings which inspire others of us

To do the things which can save us all,

Yet too few really have a willingness to fight,

The corporations get richer and the poor get poorer,

People don’t go to the board rooms and slay these oppressors,

Rome is burning and the birds are dying,

 

Too many want to live by the ocean,

Too much trash floats out to sea,

There’s lead in the water,

And while people seem to get more intelligent,

They refuse to get up and refuse to do anything,

They don’t want to believe it and stand in the midst of a burning empire.

 

Rome is burning and there seems not enough remorse to salvage this world.

 

 

©2016mhumunculero

The Stars inside you…

 

 

help me

“Help me help her, she’s in convulsions. She is saying strange names.  Her eyes are rolling back in her head. Greenish foam spews from her mouth.  Her heart is pounding too fast and too hard, I am scared I will lose her.”

He changed his frequency to this distress call.

He could hear it and see it in an information code in his mind’s eye.  He hoped for video since he did not trust her or the friend.  The friend’s style seemed like a variation of her own.

“She’s possessed and from what she’s told me of you, I don’t trust you.  I don’t know what to do…”

“Tell me your location I will come and get her!”

“No, I don’t know what you will do…”, this tone seemed too familiar.

“From what she tells me, you are a controlling old lecherous pig.  You want to rule her and restrict her!  You remind me of so many she has gotten with previously!”

“You don’t know me so how can you state this without direct knowledge?”

“She looks like she’s going into a coma, what will I do?”

The tone felt frantic and yet to some extent contrived.

“Help me I don’t know what to do…”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Once upon a construct of a relative timeline through a wormhole in a meta-galactic garden where star flowers grow and seed through black holes an Old Bluish Star came to settle in an orbit off its black hole portal path.

The garden, if humans would see it might look so much like the best tended gardens of Earth.  The energy visions we’d see seemed like these flowers, shrubs, trees and grasses grew in unison and separated themselves to a kind of coexistence which allows their stellar presences.

Sometimes the Stellar flowers established a space where their protoplanets would form upon their placement in a galactic cluster of planet forming star systems.

In one of these star plots a beautiful Star consistently bloomed in great radiance.  Decidedly by our human terms this star had a meta feminine nature birthing planets and at full bloom coalescing with smaller gaseous proto stars to bloom larger and more luminous on all spectral levels.

Now, the Old Star had experienced and caused many transformations over the aeons as a progenitor and survivor of ultra stellar chaos.  So much a fractal of multi-dimensional proportion it seemed.  He had stellar consciousness.  A consciousness so vast we humans sense it as an immense current of energy or closer still, a great continuous stream of information manifesting in intersections with others of various proportions across the multiverse.

So now the dialog begins in emanations we’ll attempt to translate:

“Such a fine set of moments is beginning.  Your beauty seems blinding in the dalliance of now.”

She stopped him, “Who seem you to speak, Old Star?  You who has travelled through much of it in the now.  You who’ve known so many of great stellar import and brilliance.  Why bother with us in our harmonious journey in this ever changing garden…WHY?”

“And of course, as you smile in waves at me, you know it not meant to bother. I…”

She interrupted, “You came to join with me, exchange our content and intent without formal invitation or some other to introduce us.  Naturally, Old Star, we feel suspicious of your almost aggressive intrusion.”

He had to turn up his output volume, “Please your majesty.  I have meant to pay homage to your beauty and despite my usual discretions for approach I have found myself a bit bold and intent upon you.  When I sensed you on my travel through these regions, I had no idea I would want to make an introduction and propose an exchange…”

She interjected more forceful now, “You want to starfuck me, admit it.  It’s an acceptable request.  I can see some of the benefit I might have. However, dear old handsome mass of Mega Star God this seems a bit out of context in the haste of your approach.”

She paused and he returned, “Goddess of starblooming please beg my indulgence.  I can see your complete knowledge of our possible merger and exchange.  You seem frightened by the magnitude of it somehow…”

Again she interrupts, “You old fiery gasbag!  I want nothing more than to absorb you and have you adsorb and absorb my manifestations.  The first taste of intention drives me to stellar panic, I fear Supernova…”  She began something akin to what we’d interpret as a stellar hyperventilation, another pause for him to speak again.

 

“Please allow me to calm your fears and rest awhile in the best radiance of my ardor for you.  It will cause you feeling at ease…”.

She did calm down and let him settle on her with an almost blue and invisible shine, “Ohhh I could love you and call you Master.  You are so handsome!”, she would tell him this over and over as they basked in each other and she could feel love from him appreciating her and radiating his presence.

Then came a gaseous starcloud of great tumult.  The kind of raw, powerful energies and proto information which can cause stellar drunkenness in these bodies.

So in her fascination and confusion she consumed and her innermost desires manifested.  She invited him, “Come into this space.  Let’s mix…”

He moved in and hesitated since she seemed more like she would consume him giving him great bite wounds on a level which will destroy star systems.

“Ohhh, you Old gasser…you burn with blue fires which start star birthings and cause them in multiple regions…you feel like so much more than just an Old Blue giant!”, she stargasmed and whimpered in multiple forms and spectra after an almost what seemed an infinite pause like the space and peace of darkness, he started up, “Tell me beautiful what you want and want of me…don’t hold back.”

“I want to be owned by the right Master.  A true master I can love and will bloom love for with every emanation.  Would you, will you, OWN me?” she fawned as only a blooming star femme can.

“Yes, I will own you!”  A bluish stellar plasma oozed out of him onto her and they played and played.

She slipped through an invisible black hole and seemed gone from the garden and the Old Star wondered at this…was it natural disorder in the mix or did she leave to something else?

He naturally let go however, it did not last for the taste, feel, and enjoyment of her had no parallel.  He had exchanged and loved many other great stellar entities of her nature and most of them called to him through the wormholes with reverence and appreciation coming from his reverence and appreciation of each of them.  She seemed to have some extra draw to her…something he had not experienced the similarity of for the passage of much radiance and journeying through these star pathways.

He allowed most of his multiplicity of selves to long for her. 

The assumption of ownership came and he allowed it to compel him to have her and completely own her when the reality as such only gave him ownership in the previous shared moments.

Meanwhile she had come upon some fringe gardens, wearing themselves thin in another sector and in her drive to shine and dally any and every one with her pulses and radiance she lost track of her statements and promises.

A communication came through the ethers, “I have come upon my starmate, a little white star like a fairy twinkle.  She loves me and seems very protective…”

Really she had come back to her old system where a red dwarf pulsed just enough brilliance to keep her interest.  The Old Star sensed this entity and found it of low consumptive value with little possibility of exchange.

At one point the red boy contacted the Old Star, “We need to talk about my Star girl, uh, my ex star girl…”

“There’s nothing to talk about RedBoy.  She’s told me all about you.  How you’ve fed and drained and bruised her core…”

“Yes, but you don’t know what she’s done to me!!”

His tone felt jealous and possessive and unfortunately the Old Blue took some of it personally as he felt like he had come to her aid against this perpetrator.

“If you had maturity (the RedBoy had been in some star cluster fucks beyond his control which left him distressed and hallucinating) you’d have moved on from her.  I recommend you do it now to save yourself an early implosion…”

“Oh wait, don’t shut me out.  You don’t understand…” like there might be a subplot.

 Yes, the subplot seemed in effect from day one.  She had come to the Old Star’s region to get away from RedBoy and keep him on the string.  The tension they generated for one another gave her consumptive energy and slowly drained him to his self immolative tendency.  He wanted to fade out she had disappointed him so much.  Yet the tension she created excited him and caused him to flare with pleasures.  Pleasure which feels healthy and in actuality drains him to disordered consciousness.

She again felt aware of this RedBoy communicating with the Old Star and blurted, “Don’t talk to him, he’s crazy, I hate him…”

“What does he want to tell me.  Why did he get hold of me if you have ended it with him?”

“He still has some energies I gave I want back…”

“Why they might have too much of him in them.  Since he has a sinister nature toward you, why do you want them?”

“They feel familiar and comfortable.  He has good qualities.”

“Yes my star blossom.  So why don’t you see if you can work things out and not waste my time.”

“No, I hate him.  I don’t want to stay with him.”

The Old Star would play this one out, maintaining personal security while seeing the direction of our Stellar Flower and the trail of events she deposits on the timeline.

 

 

To be continued…

 

©2016MondoHumunculero

 

B = Ball Bat Queen

harleywhore

B = Ball Bat Queen

Like a broken dream

A fantasy realized turned sour

Pissing blood

Fire hose torrents

Given unto her grift,

Wanting to trust,

Knowing the dead chicken would not

Rot off her neck in time,

Feeling taken by wretched loneliness

Really needing a dick work out,

A sweaty, passionate lengthy journey

Past the rhythm leaving her coming and coming

Spent

Brassy like fiery trumpets of REO tricycle doom

Crappy classic rock and what passed for metal

Trite crackly Sovtek tube crunch eardrums

Attempting so ardently for hip

For coolness

Like the perfect summer drink in dry ears,

Only a misgiving, only a poor feat,

All he wanted to know was did I fuck you.

Yes,

you asked me, you fucked me star eyed one – nail cakes,

Like a parking lot status fuck for elevation in what you thought 

Seemed like a fun little club

And the dismissal of importance in too many things,

Wound you up in a dire circumstance of fuck and fight

With an institutionalized Hill Billy bozo,

Like a Steely Dan gaucho or Jack of Speed

Where the drug is PTSD madness and the cure

Will be suicide brains spattered on a cheezy apartment’s wall.

No firearms were used.

©2016mhumunculero

 

harleyquinnbatfuck

Enough

Enough


We live moment to moment. 

Each of us has all or most of the tools we need to make ourselves happy in almost any moment.

Even in the face of death some have faced it happily with a smile.

We may have opportunities to cultivate happiness from tools gathered in life experiences and trainings. 

The ruse comes in believing we actually exist and have a posited being.  We take action.  Our bodies and the chemistry which makes our cells, organs, tissues and bodily systems act and have a constant motion.  We move on a moving object in a moving system which has a connected part to all other moving systems we perceive.  In some great senses of all of this we realize our significance and insignificance.  We sometimes get glimpses of newly – in our perception as individuals – synthesized reality tunnels and this spurs something commonly called imagination, which consequently seems to make new reality tunnels or fantasies of possible realities we might experience.

The delusion comes in the self-deprecation coming from confusing identity with its progenitor – PURPOSE.

We’ve had enough of getting told our existence has some ulterior meaning other than living life to its fullest in the moment.  Some seem to have so much concern in a never proven afterlife they miss out on many of life’s pleasurable and rewarding experiences.  Their prayers to a mythical deity or deities only find an answer in cause and effect and random occurrences, yet the satisfaction it brings those praying and sometimes those who know they have gotten prayed for seems to fuel their erroneous beliefs as such.

By the time most individuals reach the age of 35 their actions and responses are 95% determined in the subconscious.  Thus we act out of ingrained sets of beliefs, thinking, feelings, and experiences from our past.  To adapt and change and find greater strategies we may have to break out of these programmed actions.  First we will have to sensually experience occurrences.  Since most of our memories are changed everytime we remember them, purposely living in the moment and having great awareness of the stimuli coming into us with a more objective perception trained to immediately filter out the canned responses of the nostalgic identity many of us believe actually exists as a solid form intransigent, despite widespread information to the contrary.

As we train ourselves to recognize our programmed responses we can gain a healthy skepticism about the world we live in and the judgements our minds give us whilst actually perceiving an event.

As we have done this, we’ve noticed less repetitive behaviors.  We actually got overly familiar with eras and their genre.  Defining and living in Purpose gives a clearly shaped identity with beliefs and values generating behaviors and creating a beneficial environment.  My purpose got elucidated and I create power and pleasure, very simply so living my live in the chunked up versions of those terms…Power does not mean over others.  It encompasses wealth and health and emotional intelligence and connecting meaningfully with others.

We remind ourselves to aspire to and achieve excellence while discarding perfectionism and perfectionists.

We will not take judgements and criticisms personally as they come from others and not ourselves.  We will not assume anyone to have our same set of beliefs and values.  We will focus and do our best in as many areas as possible, keeping track of efforts and results.

Socialism in deed…

Socialism in deed…

I hear and read a lot of fear based nonsense about socialism.

The right wing, on both sides of the aisle, have done the same kind of demonizing.  Far too many seem afraid the great monster would drive the country to a classless apathy a fate worse than the comfort of the irrational belief system of neoliberalism, neo-conservatism, free market capitalism, and now most irksome – Nationalism.

(In my personal experience, the early sixties had us kids doing civil defense under the desk nuclear attack exercises.  This scared the fuck out of most of us.  This leading to the assassination of JFK, RFK, and MLK, caused a major scare and kept the anti communist propaganda alive and the Hawks flourishing along with their military-industrial-complex cronies pumping out weapons of offensive of defense in the Cold War.  So many were primed to react in later decades and generations.)

So as not to fuck around with the quasi consensus redefinitions of the term, here we go right out of Merriam-Webster:

Full Definition of socialism

  1. 1 :  any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods

  2. 2a:  a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b:  a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state

  3. 3:  a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done

The definition above is a bit skewed to one side we think when looking at dictionary.com

socialism

a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

procedure or practice in accordance with this theory.

 

I was taught in high school that socialism chiefly involved the workers owning the means of production.  It can exist competitively in a world economy using capitalism as a partial vehicle.

The marriage in the US still seems a little overly capitalist when we check this list and its criteria – 50% ownership by employees – can be through stock options, profit sharing, and etc.

http://www.nceo.org/articles/employee-ownership-100

When I search for a list of companies which are 100% vested into and owned by employees, nothing comes up.  So on a good day there may be few which meet the criteria.  I know of two.  We might think people would work hard for the incentive this can create and no doubt some do, especially if there’s extra bonuses for direct contributions producing significant profit or loss preventions.  In these working models, the market is still a capitalist oligarchy even though workers in these companies own the means of production.

When it comes to government services, it looks like most of the American people have not taken civic responsibility seriously.  By this we mean, the Constitution has become a holy document, especially the Bill of Rights.  It’s wording seems to be viewed as holy scripture not to be changed to fit the times, so we depend on the capitalist oligarchy’s majority representation in Congress and SCOTUS to interpret the document to “fit” our times.  Since gerrymandering in this century has gotten skewed to represent more of the top 20% of the economic constituency – most of whom probably are at least indirectly supporting the top one percent.

Here’s an interesting study indirectly on this phenomenon

http://www2.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power_elite/interlocks_and_interactions.html

Since this was a business analysis from a social work perspective, I wanted to add the lobby expenditures I could find in the time span 1998-2016

http://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/top.php?indexType=s

Now let’s add the Princeton study mostly confirming the US is an oligarchy wherein the needs and wants of the mass constituency are not represented in Congress:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-04-17/princeton-study-confirms-us-oligarchy

So the Mainstream Media in their lust for ratings and advertising revenue has chosen to direct the needs of the people via biased information instead of objective fact reporting.

The report the most sensational events giving fear raising labels to headlines.  Since Nixon and Reagan, the Republicans, conservatives, and reactionaries has been indoctrinated to hate government instead of promoting community participation and civilian oversight of all government at local, state, regional, national, and international levels.  Now with the rise of the Dumpster and his legions of Dumpsterkoffs the infiltration of libertarian and free market ideologies have been spoon fed to the workers so they believe government is bad and corrupt and should be dismantled along with almost all regulations of the environment and natural resources.  The promotion of extremist ideologies especially on the right have found their way to the disgruntled who mostly have a short memory of the destructive havoc which Nixon, Reagan, Clinton, and W wrought upon the middle class.  Now in the age of Neoliberalism and inequality amplifying economics, small business gets crunched and multinational corporations ride the tides of the “free market” ideology in practice.

At this juncture many Americans don’t care.  Many have given up and acquiesce to the present conditions without knowing their depth of effects upon us all. So much of our desire in life seems to come from instant gratification most don’t have a sense of civic responsibility toward the well-being of our neighborhoods, cities, communities, and states.  Have we become so ignorant, complacent, and apathetic that we are no longer willing to do anything about our dilemma?  How many would be willing to serve without pay on civilian oversight committees?  While we do know some companies who have taken interest in their communities most don’t and do not fulfill, nor think they have to fulfill their responsibility to the general welfare of the Republic, without which most would not survive.

I think there can be grand plans for these oversights and civil duties. Instead of companies centering themselves on shareholders’ dividends or private company increase in profit many can probably help themselves by improving their communities by more than just their existence and general contributions to the economy.  However, we must instill a sense of civic duty and interaction in our young people.  Instead of them getting too vested in election outcomes which don’t cause enough change, we need the elected to convert themselves to civil servants and depoliticize them.  Of course money needs to get out of their election processes and the media must contribute time to them FREE OF CHARGE as a civic duty.

We most likely have ten to fifteen years to get enough change for society as we have come to know it, survive.  Climate change is happening and we’re not doing must to stem it or worke the necessary strategies – which will revive and expand the economy to the real needs and concerns of the consumers. 

We must nonprofit and nationalize several aspects:

Energy, Medical – especially hospitals and insurance, banking, education, transportation, and etc.…this will only work with active civilian oversights and participation.  Private industry will thrive in these environments and the stimulus can go to small businesses so they can afford to pay livable wages and expand employment.  Incentives also need to be given for businesses to have 80-100% employee ownership.  When the people of the middle class expand their income base progressively the economy will grow and flourish and the twenty percent can expand to 85% and beyond.  Yes, taxes will be more and the military will be less as well as capitalist interventionism on the part of this nation these with the expansion both through privatization and nationalization (worker-community owned) can unify us into the betterment of our local and planetary futures…

In doing this we’ll have to do away, through regulation and economics, with the Dumpsters and Dumpsterkoff mentalities by instilling a sense of purpose and responsibility in our fellows by an expanded sense of social – civic – democracy.

showing

The moment again,

The kisses and touching the best ever again,

It feels so going in good again she says

Enjoyed and savored

Prolonged again and again,

Deep and enjoyed again,

Enjoyed again

The relentless drive appreciated

Present

Passion in waves sincere

The cling of wetness closest of all,

She loves and always remembers

The pleasure seems endlessly continuous

When it happens

The thought of it makes it happen,

Blooming flower she,

She blooming out of you,

A slight lemony smell of delight,

You found this core to stretch and pump and

Tongue tease

A vascular bastion throbbing

For long hours languished in you…

 

©2016mhumunculero

TRUST

The sound of it seems so simple

The meaning seems so clear

The practice of it seems easy to do

The knowledge of it yields satisfaction

Sometimes under some circumstances

It fails the promise even for the most consistent

Because it has to happen perfectly

It really assumes too much of a person

Because this person must do this for the self

And it just doesn’t work

Yet we all crave it and want it

And the Narcissists demand it…

As though we’d ever find them earning it

 

 

©2016mhumunculero

almost = no game

Rolling ahead turbines whining at super cellular speeds

Clamors of drift taking drains on consciousness

Living always in the past latencies

Star sky impressions lights long past

Fortitudes of madness

latitudes of grift and consequence

Sequenced in advantages received

Final sets of hundreds of stroke climaxes

The axis of spot hits enervated

plus-plus up, up

Down deeper

Deeper down, deeper, down deeper,

HARDER

Into the encasements

Even so too much seems unaccomplished

The little done gets undone

Lack of desire and effort

A user gone to disuse,

The delay of dreams explained

Moments wasted…

Ohhhhhh and the hundreds of others better feeling

A residue of smiles and invitations of returned pleasures,

The seizures of restorative ecstasy.

©2016mhumunculero

I want

And so I don’t get what I want.

What I want is your love and affection.  I want you to come to me naturally and shower me with it.

I want you to grab my cock, erect it, play it, and fuck me fuck me fuck me in the morning early and at night.

I want you to come up to me and grab me and kiss me.  I want you to sleep in my bed with me and go and do things you love during the day and spend every night with me like the women I have felt loved by completely.  I want to talk with you when I am home and hear about your day and what you’ve done.

I want to turn a spell or ten with you and influence outcomes in our favor, in your favor, in my favor.

I want to kiss and lick every inch of you and eat your pussy like it’s never been done ever and in a way that is unparalleled and unforgettable.

I want to go to special places with you I know you will love and enjoy your appreciation of them.

I want to find all the ways that make you happy in only the ways I can do and I want to share your everyday joys and find the pure joy in them and you to share in mine as well.

I want to create entities with you which devour all the bad ones which float around preventing progress and eat the corporate ones too.

I want you and your company, your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings and your presence…

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! ;)

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN(?)

 

 

Many citizens will tell you they would defend their freedoms to the death-and many have gone to their demise thinking they have. There had to be a sizable number who have believed they’re doing the right thing for the right reasons. Many citizens will tell you they live in the greatest country in the world because they too can become wealthy and live a rich and famous lifestyle. In fact, about 2-5% have. This gives the rest of us a dream for the opportunities which supposedly are at our finger tips. People, especially those of the wealthy “Conservative” or Repugnikan ilk have, through the media paid them off to perpetuate the delusion of the “American Dream”.

Here’s what some of the data says:

http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2011/09/19/what-are-your-chances-of-becoming-a-millionaire/

“Before 2007, Americans generally opposed higher taxes on the wealthy because they thought they would be wealthy too someday.

Not anymore.  One reason President Obama’s “Buffett Rule” (applied to those making $1 million or more a year) may be politically popular is that most voters no longer see themselves reaching the $1 million mark – let alone $1 million a year.

According to a new poll from the Associated Press and CNBC, 79% of Americans say it’s unlikely they’ll have $1 million or more in assets over the next 10 years. Fully 61% said it is “extremely” or “very difficult” to become a millionaire in the U.S. today…”

Here’s one more:

http://www.investopedia.com/financial-edge/1110/getting-rich-what-are-your-odds.aspx

Do you hope to be rich some day? The United States had 2,886,200 millionaires in 2009, meaning that about 0.9% of Americans, or about one in 106 people, were millionaires as of last year. In the same year, 391 Americans were billionaires – that’s about one in 785,166 people or around 0.0001% of the population. Given these numbers, how good do you think your odds are that you could join the ranks of the wealthy? …

Earning a Six-Figure Income
According to the Current Population Survey’s 2010 Annual Social and Economic Supplement, 13,269,000 men and women earned a six-figure income in 2009. With the U.S. population estimated at around 307 million for 2009, the data means that one in 23 Americans, or about 4%, earned six figures in 2009. Almost three times as many men as women earned six figures. 1,460,000 men and women, about one in 210 people or 0.5% of the population, earned $250,000 or more in 2009.

As these figures come from 2010, I wonder what the odds are today? (at the end of this article, the author attempts to sell you a stock investment program…go figure huh?)

Yes, we do have a lot of freedoms here, especially for having a population of over 330M. Yes, we can write or say whatever we want and most of it will never reach the mainstream.

People join the military thinking they are protecting all these freedoms by engaging in the Imperialism which begets terrorism and fosters belief in religions composed of almost total nonsense albeit with some “Universal” humane values plugged in for control purposes. All they’re doing is protecting the interests of USA centered, multinational corporations and virulent private corporate interests. Very little of this trickles down to us. The industries which prop up the perpetual war machine don’t employ as many as they did in the Cold War or Vietnam. Let’s make America great again, indeed

http://www.politico.com/story/2014/08/defense-industry-shrinking-110321

These fucks are employing less and less people…

“As the prospects for growth have decreased in the defense industry, the way that defense companies can attract investors is by showing that they can increase profit margins,” said Philip Finnegan, director of corporate analysis at the Teal Group, an aerospace and defense market research firm. “There’s been a drive in the defense industry to increase profit margins and return more to shareholders.”

It seems the realities we used to think helped our chances for opportunity have become worn out delusions.

Manufacturing employs about 8.8% of our work force, but these numbers have declined from previous decades:

Manufacturing industries generated $2.1 trillion in GDP (12.5 percent of total U.S. gross domestic product) in 2013. But even these figures do not fully capture manufacturing’s role in the economy. Manufacturing provides a significant source of demand for goods and services in other sectors of the economy, and these sales to other industries are not captured in measures of manufacturing sector GDP but are counted in the broader measure of its gross output. U.S. manufacturing had gross output of $5.9 trillion in 2013, more than one-third (35.4 percent) of U.S. GDP in 2013. Manufacturing is by far the most important sector of the U.S. economy in terms of total output and employment. The manufacturing sector supported approximately 17.1 million indirect jobs in the United States, in addition to the 12.0 million persons directly employed in manufacturing, for a total of 29.1 million jobs directly and indirectly supported, more than one-fifth (21.3 percent) of total U.S. employment in 2013.

The manufacturing sector is also a particularly important provider of jobs with good wages for workers without a college degree. This can be seen in the manufacturing wage premium—the dollar amount by which the average manufacturing worker wage exceeds the wage of an otherwise comparable worker outside the manufacturing sector. The average wage premium for all U.S. manufacturing workers without a college degree was $1.78 per hour (or 10.9 percent) in 2012–2013.

The United States lost 5.7 million manufacturing jobs between March 1998 and 2013. The principal causes of manufacturing job losses were growing trade deficits, especially with China, Mexico, and other low wage nations, and the weak recovery from the Great Recession since 2009.”

http://www.epi.org/publication/the-manufacturing-footprint-and-the-importance-of-u-s-manufacturing-jobs/

Here’s some of the why this has happened:

http://www.bloomberg.com/bw/articles/2014-04-28/why-factory-jobs-are-shrinking-everywhere

Reading the latterly, what is going to save our economic asses? NOT Donald Trump, readers.

The Bern’s ideas are part of what will help us. We need to retrain, we need free higher education, we need a complete infrastructure overhaul. We need to purge the Repugnikans and their lobbyists out of all of our branches of government, along with payola Democrats. We need to shrink the military and give the maimed the treatment and care they deserve. We need massive STEM efforts to bolster the services industries. We need to kick oil and toxic hydrocarbons to the curb, permanently. Energy should be sustainable, renewable and available to all and we need to take a leading role in helping the rest of the planet do the same…YES, I know this is tired rhetoric spewed by us on the LEFT for a long time. Most of us know this now. We know we need to act. However, so long as the financial power base controls our destiny, we are fucked by their short to medium range disastrous efforts. How are we going to stop the madness? I am not so sure it can occur peaceably…oh I wish we could change it all from the ballot box. Many are feeling a depressing desperation about the state of things and meanwhile remain in the nutless dysfunction which keeps us under the boot of corporatism. Too many are looking for the ONE LEADER who can pull us out of the quagmire. It won’t be a businessman, people and probably not a career politician, it will have to be a massive effort with many of the right kind of objectives (err left, maybe?) It’s going to take change on the local levels, city, county, state, region, national, and international levels. It will take all of us doing our parts-we already know this and most of it is a simple attitude change.

The extremism of the right wing appeals to people who think a strongman can save us by kicking ass. This is why the Dump(Trump)has a lot of popularity. A great deal of people want someone running the show who has assertiveness and guts…WTF, too many are ignoring the positive things Obama has done. Don’t get me wrong here, he was a sellout from day one and to the contrary he attempts to do things now we’d love to have seen earlier on if he’d had a progressive House and Senate working with him to get us up the road to a much better place than we are now. We have a SCOTUS with some fuckers like Scalia, Roberts, and Thomas who need to be run out of the high court to teach others the ways we don’t want things to go…The right wing, since Reagan have caused many to hate government. And yes, there are many wasteful practices and inefficiencies there which reducing govt. will not fix. The popularity of Libertarian ideas is indicative of the laziness we have when it comes to the personal responsibilities that citizens, businesses, and government have toward the fostering of the republic.

I have grown tired of the overuse of the word “democracy”. We don’t have a pure democracy, we never did. It has always been a historic struggle between the people and the oligarchy in most of the country. The Bundy’s of the world are not these people. They’re squatters and wasteful pricks when it comes to range management. I would love to see how these creeps have improved the BLM land’s carrying capacity since they’ve been running their herds on it. If I could see this data, I might be sympathetic to their cause. Right now, the Tea Party slime and their Repugnikan sympathizers want to privatize all public lands to generate profits for the few and strip the many of their free access to the aesthetic enjoyment of parks and public lands…Oh, but we’ll improve the land by charging for access and having the funds to do it…wrong. They will exploit and destroy.

What do the candidates in all elected government offices do to better things for the common welfare of their constituents? This is the perennial question we must all ask them.

Just because Trump seemingly has big balls doesn’t mean he has the plight of the common man in mind. His rhetoric shows he doesn’t as does most of the rhetoric on either side of the political fence, Repugnikans acting consistently as the major offenders.   The Bern will only be a cool deterrent to these useless shitheads unless he has a progressive Congress working with him and covering his back. In the end, we need to take all the money out of political elections. All media, as a service to the Republic, needs to donate equal time to all the candidates, devoid of profit with equal time for all those running. We need to run the for profit motivated lobbyists like the insurance industry, pharmaceutical industry, hospital industries, defense industries, banking industries, and the like out of Washington and state and local governments for good. Most of this shit needs to be nonprofit, serving the needs of citizenry. We need to install a sense of personal responsibility in our citizenry so this shit rarely gets out of hand again.

This is how we’re going to make America great. It won’t work through war and toxic industries and the perpetual cycle of haves and have nots.

The supporters and members of the oligarchy are lucky that the majority of the over 300M firearms are not in the hands of those who would turn them on them to take their country back and participate in making it a great place for all to live. We must work hard to make a socially conscious environment so that the oligarchs are disempowered and serve the interests of those they are allowed to exploit. It is a must that all religions become deconstructed so they have only positive influences on the hearts and minds of people. These might be some of the ways we make America truly great. If we can spread this throughout the world as we do it, we won’t have to worry as much about illegal immigration, the drug war, and terrorism.

David Bowie

bowie '70

Many will have a Bowie “memory” or story.

Here’s one of mine-keep in mind all recollections are changed by the brain when recalled.

The time: probably the first Ziggy Stardust tour to the USA-maybe 1972?

The venue: The Celebrity Theater here in Phoenix.

I had heard the album once. 

One of my roommates, Bill MacCormack, urged me to go.  I had heard his songs on KDKB-then the great FM station of the day.  In those days we didn’t have music video or the internet, just print media, TV, and radio.

I had no clue about his show.

It was probably one of the most radical anathemas-for me-I could have been exposed to at the time being nineteen years old and in my first year of college.

The performance utilized all the technology available at the venue possible most likely.  The stage and seating is in the round and rotates to the audience.  The illusion was given of a spaceship landing and the band walked out and began the performance of Ziggy Stardust.  I was ripped on poor boy heroin-pot and alcohol(more pot than EtOh).  At one point, near the middle of the show-I have forgotten the song-Ziggy bent down and simulated a blow job on the guitar player-Mick Ronson.  It shocked the piss out of me.  In fact, the whole androgynous appearance of Bowie kind of repulsed and attracted me at the same time as I had an inner struggle with my sexuality in those days.  I felt a strong homophobia and disdain which I hid as I did not want to lose acceptance among my friends who were gay tolerant-at least with social superficiality.

To this day, the show remains to me, an icon of rock opera and Bowie a real innovator in rock music.  Over the decades, I grew to love his music and social poignancy.  He was a genius.  I saw him a few more times over the years and thoroughly enjoyed his performance and music though never buying his records(yes, I was all vinyl which I now abhor).

I saw most of his films and liked them all.  I thought him a good actor.

His latest album is typical of the artistry consistent in all his work, I am listening to it as a memorial to the gifts he gave us all.

These gifts live on despite the demise of his physicality.

David-Bowie 2016

Wilder Side Rider

“Goddamn it there’s too many things I don’t like about this time of year.”

Aaron looked at his longtime friend thinking, “Oh no, not the complaining again.”

“Fuck it. I’m going to enjoy myself despite all the shit.” He stared at the ceiling instead of rolling his eyes. He pulled a long draught of the sweet, room temperature stout, his mind wandering as it hit his gut…” Wish this was mead!”

“I know a place where the mead is perfect Tolland. Some pretty hot nordic-german looking women serving it too…”

“What the fuck, it’s the longest night of the year. People are a little festive. Perhaps some gal will take pity on an old smart ass thrall like me? By Odin’s beard and the swell in my organs let’s hope so!”

“We’ve been to the Long Ships before. Remember? That Helga looking woman accosted you in the parking lot…”

“Yeah, I remember. My back was fucked up for a week. She rode me hard and put me away wet…”

Aaron laughed, “I’ll bet it was wet!”

“Fuck it’s always good…maybe she’ll be there again…”
His mind drifted again. So many people had died this year, hell, in the last three years. Fucking depressing shit. Tolland was feeling his own mortality.

“Hell, we don’t live forever. We might as well enjoy ourselves as much as possible on the way to our death.”

They paid the tab and strode out of the bar. Big men, they looked like Viking strong men with trimmed beards and hair…Tolland, blonde with red beard and Aaron brown haired and blue eyed, over six five.
Along the way the roadway had a low fog on it with a mist. The full moon was casting shadows from the forest lining the highway. Tolland could swear he saw spectral figures darting across the road…

“Goddamn it Aaron, why is it I hallucinate when I drink?”

“Tolly, I am seeing some weird shit too, like ghosts darting across the roadway and I have only had two beers…”

“Yeah! What’s going on with this…fucking Christmas anyway huh?”

“Luckily the bar has a good shuttle service to the hotel on Grand. We may need it tonight…”

“Shit I hope Helga takes ME home, Aaron…”

They half-assed parked the dual cab pickup, taking up two spaces. The tavern looked pretty full from the state of the parking lot. As they walked up to the entrance they could hear Swedish Death Metal powerfully booming out of the building. The first band was done. Second band due to come on.

“Fuck Aaron, you didn’t tell me there was a show here tonight…that fucks up my drinking. How am I supposed to talk to women?”

“Shit, Tolly. You don’t say much anyway, it’s mostly nonverbal…”

As they entered there was an empty booth beside the bar which had some great looking women lining it. Tall, Nordic and Germanic looking with ample figures with flowing dresses like robes almost…

“Shit Aaron! Is this a drinking hall for a Viking chief or what?”

On the walls there was different art from the last time they were there…the paintings depicted scenes of Viking raiding parties and from the Norse myths.
“Damn, are you sure this is the same bar, dude?”

In the far corner, back of the club opposite the entrance, some pale, glowing figures sat at a long table downing big steins of ale or beer or maybe it was mead. All of them had dead looks on their faces which looked fuzzy to both men.
Soon one of the servers approached. She was about five ten in flat shoes, almost platinum blonde with light blue eyes. Her ample breasts pushed up from the crew necked top and bodice she was wearing with flowing skirt above the knees, showing off long athletic legs.

“Hi guys what can I getcha besides a clone of myself for your pleasure?” She winked and smiled so big the guys couldn’t help but grin back at her…

“Well Brunhilde, you can bring us two horns of mead to start and tell those gals at the bar to turn around and smile.”

They noticed in that far corner, a tall, very feminine figure in an iridescent emerald gown turning her long, wavy, red hair framed face toward them to give them a potent stare and begin doing a slinky, yet subtle approach toward them.

“Damn Tolly, you ever see a redhead that pretty?”

Tolly gulped hard, almost choking, “No dude, it hurts to look at her…”

She paused to stop at the bar to talk to two other gorgeous women who reminded Tolly of modern day Valkyries. The mead arrived with a saucy wink from Brunhilde.

“Well Brunhilde, weren’t you going to offer to bring us something else?”

“Hey big fella, how’d you know my name? I might just have to collect you after you pass out tonight…”

Aaron contained his laughter and grinned back, “No honey, we wouldn’t want you to have too much fun by taking advantage of the situation would we?”

“I won’t guarantee your safety darlin’”, she walked away rocking her hips and making his loins surge with blood.

“Oh shit, that’s too fuckin’ funny A-Ron!”, Tolly was about to drop to the floor…

The redhead was on them now…

Tolly almost had to lower his head…damn, she looked like his idealization of Freya. He’d always told himself if he was religious, he’d be an Odinist for sure…a shamanic priest.
She came up right next to him, facing his knee with her hips and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I have been waiting for you to get this long night started…”
He downed the mead, which by the way, was served in a large drinking horn.

“Aaron, here’s to the longest night of the year, the best mead around, and a very pretty goddess to be sure…” He just now noticed she was wearing highly polished, yet rough cut, emeralds, set in heavy gold chain…ancient looking, probably if genuine, priceless.

“For shits and giggles, your name is Tolly, right? You can call me Freya.”
She began to phosphoresce in greenish gold a black aura around this. She pressed against him, he could not help but spread his knees and turn into her. She embraced him and lightly kissed his lips and his neck…” You smell great, like cucumbers.” She rubbed inside his thigh and found him grown to meet her.

“Ahhhh, we must save this for later.” She sat down and Brunhilde arrived with more mead and a special jeweled horn for Freya. Tolly felt puzzled. He was thinking in some weird, old language. He muttered out loud. She answered him and he knew what she meant…something about riding with her in the cold dark night in the moonlight on steeds with hounds chasing something supernatural through the air.

“Raise your horns my lords! Let us toast!”

“To this Winter Solstice and the beauty of this cold dark night.” Aaron all but blurted. Freya flushed and smiled, pounding her mead, very goddess like.

“To these old Gods resurrected, come with me to pull the souls of heroes slain in battle and the poor spirits dead otherwise as we ride through the night skies…”

The mead was gone again and Brunhilde arrived again with more and a troll music band began to play some hypnotic folk metal in the background. Tolly’s right eye went dark suddenly for the room and started giving him views of scenes far away from the bar. The toasting continued for quite some time and Freya and Brunhilde kept calling Aaron Herne. The blond kept stroking his lap and got him in a full tent pitch.

“Come my lords, let us go outside to take a ride now…” Freya was up, getting them off their stools, pushing them toward the door.

As they walked outside, everything went black and Tolly found himself in a long, blue cloak and a wide brimmed hat. He was astride a strange mount, it had multiple legs and a horse’s head and body. Freya mounted a sleigh, drawn by two, gigantic, big as horses, wild boars. She cracked her bullwhip and they all took off. Brunhilde riding Aaron’s Herne cock, flying him through the air trailing Freya and her boar drawn sleigh and preceded by Tolly/Odin on Slepneir, all of them following airborne hounds into the night skies.

They soared into the suburbs over rooftops collecting the spectres of the dead who added to the baying of the houndswoden-wild-hunt

Tolland felt a serious squinching of his mind by the presence of the Allfather’s death consciousness. He felt as though he was getting ridden while flying. Ridden through the abyss. He was feeling the doom of those spirits drawn into the ride. Some of them were road killed in traffic accidents. He could feel their moments of death and the realizations of life leaving their bodies and their spirits left to hover or wander or lay quieted. Also sucked up were the spirits of people from unsolved murders, some tortured by their tormentors. Now they would make a pass over some of the murderers, heinously murdering their consciousness while still alive and sucking their ability to stem the pain of this. The worst feeling of all were the suicides and overdose victims who must be consumed. As the ride continued the spectres joined the train like procession through the night sky, occasionally sensed by a sensitive empath while dreaming these all become horrific nightmares of terrifying death.
Tolland and the other possessed shouted and screamed the terrors of the dead so that it sounded like an eerie howling of high winds to the untrained observer. Now they would sweep over hospitals and take those close to death and on life support.
“Aieeeeeeeee, James! What is happening? Arrghhhh!!”

He was driving into her, perfect rhythm, they’d been together many pleasurable nights…

“Fuck me…”, he gurgled as the talons reached into the bedroom through the ceiling and tore him apart while still in her, his upper torso lifted up, pulverized, thrown aside like ground offal. The claws ripped off her head…the spirit ether drawn up into the maelstrom above…she screamed, “James! Oh no! I lovvvee youuuuuu…. aieeeeee!!!!”

It was later now, maybe 330am, Sleipnir, the boar sleigh, and Brunhilde/Herne descended back to the parking lot, covered in blood and entrails.

“Come Aesir King, couple with me now.”
Freya had Tolly in her grasp, bloodied and semi-conscious. She half carried him to her car, a late model, black Corvette. He passed out in the seat until they arrived at her home. A beautiful, three storied brownstone deep in the city. She was so seductively beautiful, even covered in blood…

She led him staggering through the front door into great room and hallway to a large master bedroom at the end. She went into the shower in the bathroom on the left side of the room. He joined her and they washed the blood from each other. He loved the way the blood had made her skin slick to the touch. He licked her lightly and kissed her curves and under breasts. She found his face and pulled it to hers, fastening her lips to his tender and wet, tongue darting into his mouth open to receive. She took the initiative like no other had ever done before her. Tolly felt a deep connection with himself through her love making. Her presence was emotionally, sexually, and energetically staggering. He wanted to meet her kisses, bites, scratches, caress and sucking…she pushed him back down and took a deep breath, his cock in her hands waiting for her mouth. He closed his eyes.

“Elskhugi, slaka, láttu mig ríða þér…“, sounded like some old Viking language.

He let out a huge sigh of relaxation.

“Yes, yes my man.” She whispered huskily in between gulping, licking, jacking and tonguing his cock.

“Oh yes, fuck yes…” He kept relaxing and his dick kept expanding almost painfully. It felt amazing. He felt his mind transported to another place outside his body, or did it seem his mind was always outside the body? Now the illusion of separation was over. He felt her mind and consciousness. Other minds and consciousness seemed to surround them. Hers seemed more expanded and voluminous than the others directly around them. Sizing it would seem erroneous as it was more about presence than measuring characteristics. The presence of her seemed to pulse and emanate. She enveloped him in this set of realms. Their information mixed and spewed out a combination of them as a type of communication bridge.

To be continued?

©2015mhumunculero

All in ALL the halls

Darkened matter pervading my perversions of the speculative

The purloinment of goodness futures,

Future goodness of loins satisfied ten thousand times,

Dreams of you and of me again and again,

All the uses of me for all the yous paraded in these dreams once nightmarish…

Then again I was the man who rode the mare into the night

Eight legs she has and myself, blue cloak flailing in winter windigs

Wendigo fleeing, Krampus dissolving, dire wolves at my side monstrous,

And yet to you I am the greater monster,

Death angel beyond Azazel and all that,

An interdimensional information stream of entropy,

Helping me die the ten thousand little deaths,

Living each moment to its utmost,

The power of creation,

Ideations of pleasure,

A snuggled up spoony ass late night,

The deep hot feeling of it all…

All of it

All of it

Like purple webs extoling the hedonism of it

ALL.

 

©2015MHumunculero

Nice eh?

It seemed so nice on this autumn day.  Like most things seemingly tragic or catastrophic, a great entropic moment would happen as so many had before.

So sad it felt to see so many with great opportunity in front of them cast them aside for emotional whimsy. To fabricate and exaggerate statements into lies and hurtful hate like a poison to destroy friendships.  Some friendships are stronger than deceitful and hurt based treachery.  Too many felonious behaviors come from these distortions and deletions of speech.  So much so they become value judgement generalizations which turn into the lies which attempt to destroy love.

The seeds for the compassion and kindness which nullifies the deep pain from which all these things ensue had been planted in the past by the thoughtful event planner.  Deviating the course of events before their onset had great result in the lesser determined future. 

Now, the bonds would change and there would occur nor persist fetters which hinder the growth of love and simple commitment.  Poisonous repeats of poison words would come back to curse the distorter and deletist via lack of a solution.  There would be no harm, no victim, only the responsible.  Those who repeat statements of malignment from the point of view of the black mirror, ignoring the white mirror assessment would find themselves burned by their instigations and prevarications…

The defenses would not be needed, nor would the attacks succeed.  The hypersensitivities would show themselves as insecurity and narcissism.  All attempts to divide would dissipate into more loyalty.

HE KNEW…

 

When she walked up to him and said, “I am glad you’re here!” He knew.

When she danced in front of the stage where he played his ass off she knew he watched her.

When she kissed him and looked into his eyes the first time, He knew.

She got drunk and asked him to make drinks in a certain way and drank and poured them on herself, telling him she wanted to be owned by him-he knew then.

She said, “I am your lover, your partner, your friend, I want you to be all those things…I love you and I know you love me…” He knew.

When they fought and he held his mud when it was about his perseverance and his boundaries and she loved despite the obvious difference, he knew.

When she came to him after great difficulties, knowing he would be there and showing it-he knew.

Many things came to the surface in their interactions. It seemed like a struggle, and really it seemed more about gaining familiarity. She asked and wondered how he could know his feelings so soon it made her suspicious of him because other less mature males had professed undying love and gone down the crazy road with her, causing torment and hovering like flies over a carcass. So when he fought inside himself not to pass it up and take on others for the sake of sex, he knew. He knew because the domain he created needed her as the Empress and inspiration. She wanted to mellow herself and gain impetus to succeed and she slowed because it felt like too much too soon. After twenty years and eighteen years with the August women, starting similarly and lasting long, he knew this one had a greater fit and more intensity and certainly great heaping portions of magical sensitivity and creative verve. She took nonsense and made magical sense of it with result and forward occurrences. She had to think because he would fight off and figuratively slay her suitors like Ulysses returned home and stringing the bow. Oh they were many, like the many women who came to him and sought his company and love. So large were their hearts and full of those they loved yet expansive for this love they would experience with one another.

So with both of them their health and well-being like most with great magical export, experienced their personal trials. He exorcised her more than once, eating her demons like grilled meat and she in the offering fucked him to greater power and illuminations. He found and expanded his love through sex and orgasm-hers and his, sometimes mutual. He opened the doors of secret darkness in the female aspect, rarely experienced by a man or a woman.

In this darkness he found her accumulated synthesis of thought forms, some with great malevolence; others with power grids of energy upcharge. Her monsters came to kill him and became food of the sort that magicians take in an evocation course.

His enchantments came to the helping of others and the extirpation of parasites.

Each time she would leave from frustrations with him, she would return to profess her love…

to be continued…

©2015MHumunculero

Pie in a Serpentine aspect


When I bite this piece of reality like the meat in a sandwich,
It’s juicy and flavorful like a bit of truth,
No drugs can cure this stark picture,
It doesn’t need judgment,
It’s just pathetic
It’s all exploitation the getting even
For the getting even,
In this the hook has been driven
Like mutual self-assured destruction.


So this love, tough for a legacy,
Won’t be hidden by anger or woe,
It won’t be hidden at broken promises,
Too many lies,
Too many exposed fears,
Too many bad habits born out of beatings,
So you can make them serious,
And they don’t believe nor care if it’s true,
It’s the same old pattern,
Same old beat down,
Crusty don’t give a fuck nod.

Meanwhile there’s a real sunrise in the desert,


A place with no remembered legends,
A silhouette to be reckoned,
The curse is in,
And the fools think themselves immune
While the decay cannot be reversed,
And the wound slowly grows
While the former hero finds
Other pleasures and delights,
And she pines away, far away…

And she wastes her time again on a fool.
And she misses me.
I watched this waste of times times ten,
As I had wasted mine times fifty.


A Dragon of heart evoked
Flies on hot wind incinerating the wretched
Who wished themselves destroyed,
Destroyed while the solar heart rises
Cool in aspect,
Glowing gold in early morning sadness
Imperturbable by purpose
Fought over
Won over by virtue of confidence
And the most final smile.

©2015MHumunculero

Thorndart

Deep sleep so soft and dark, dark without remembered dreams. I woke up drooling remembering another bloodlust, a hunt for a crazed fucker, a beater of women. Women he couldn’t subjugate or dominate by virtue of presence and appreciation.
They remain a pleasure to send to dark demise, not without grievous torture.

This is a torture without hands on, a series of awful occurrence. I sent the entity of my own making into his deep mind to find his greatest pains and fears. The entity absorbed them and grew. It injected them into his emotional source and its deepest triggers. I had no desire to know what they were only to have my creature find them, trigger them and make them cause him great anxiety and pain. He spent sleepless nights and dragging days of little accomplishment filled with remorse and insecurity. He made mistakes at every turn. He sabotaged every relationship and person dear to him. He fumbled in his career and alienated his colleagues and customers. He wrecked his car and his truck. He appeared like a child to his lover. She left him in disgust. She craved his punishments and now he could no longer give them. She insulted him unabated. She lied to him and he did not try to catch her in them. She hit him without his counterpunches and beatings. He cried like a child and whined to her and pissed his pants. She could take it no more.

He got more and more pathetic. He hurt morning and night. His days and nights were torture. He longed for death and fantasized killing himself or driving someone else to kill him. He imagined himself a target of the angel of Death.
And so once again the dank, cold pleasure of the drawing of a death curse filled me like a sweet drink of cold nectar. Black and thick, sickeningly sweet and bitter at the aftertaste. Pleasing until the end like the intromission period after a long orgasm. Cold, cold, cold like the best quietude on a moonless night. And so I remembered all the energies of entropy that surround the deaths of the guilty and deserving of their murder yet never done by another person or by suicide. More like getting hit by tumbling debris from a demolished building or getting hit and run over by a convoy of trucks, feeling pain long after dismemberment and disbursement of his remains, like living hamburger with raw nerves exposed and turned up with pain.

In a cold decided demeanor I called the runes, vibrating them and feeling their export to the ethers with attendant dark colors. I stood on the bind rune, the sigil of this target’s demise in the center, calling the Gods of death and entropy visualizing the target’s engulfment in darkness while stabbing him in effigy in the heart of the sigil. The Gods came cold upon him, sweeping him into the terror they invoke in others who do not understand the fruition in destruction and death as the pathway to rebirth or oblivion. It passed, cold, and black, blind in the opaque flatness of it.
“Die, die, die, die, die…” the chant went on and on fading with the burning of the incense and burnt parchment. Robe removed and folded reeking of Saturn incense I went into the night to drink tea and listen to death metal dirges droning me into the early morning towards sleep again at dawn and an amnesia of the night’s events.
In the days which followed everyone who wished great harm upon the target seemed to accumulate wishing him imaginatively greater and greater demise.

Finally, one night on his way home he drove past his neighborhood to a street leading out of town into a mountainous part of the desert. Low peaks of broken basalt adding to the overall darkness. The road faded to dirt. He drove up on a ghost town looking set of structures until finally a small bar appeared as a corner structure drawing him inexorably toward it. He parked, went to the doorway and walked in through a short corridor. The bar was low lit mostly from the floor. The bar stools were nearly all occupied except for a stool on the far end. Lowered volume droning music gave a depressed drone. Our target sat down on the end stool and noticed all the customers were hooded, dressed in black, faces obscured. He noticed a painting on the wall of a demonic Ulysses with eager expressing slaying all of Penelope’s suitors with the bow only he could string. The painting seemed to be oozing blood onto the floor. A woman walked up to him from the back of the room, came up to him, stomped on his toes with pointed heels, drawing blood. Another man walked up and stabbed a needle like long dagger into his shoulder to draw the most pain. Soon a crowd formed, kicking him, cutting him, bludgeoning him to submission then picking him up, waking him and beating him further, finally the crowd took him to the alley behind the bar and they chained him to four cars, one for each limb, waiting for the signal to pull him apart. And so they did, very slowly tearing his already agonized form to pieces and finally shards mixing their blood and his guts into the desert soil.
I saw the entire terrifying tale in a special report on the news the next day.

A cool, dark gloating came over me. I had been gone from these enchantments too long.

 

©humunculero2015

 

 

Elystrian fielding


Crazy boogie

 Twisty feed

Multi angled love pouch

Slick grind

Deep love avoidance

Undeniable bonding

Ten thousand Ulyseesean arrows

Killing 15000 boys who’ll never be men…

It seems like fun for a minute

Soon becoming like the swatting of so many shit eating flies

A dime novel version of Beelzebub,

Lesser parts of weaker personas ungratified,

Exorcist’s erotic elixir burning like lava spewed

From volcanic lust

Deep in an earthly Baphomet bowel

The Goat sees,

The Goat feels,

The Goat fucks,

Something like approval,

Something almost like distain

Curling this lip…

For all the fucks given and lost

In the space between pain and the distraction from pain,

In eyes that want something they’ll see; the delusion of what they think they’ve gotten.

It got a little too worn out,

There was no party in the pain the chemicals eventually caused,

And living with pain did not make it bearable.

It made pain too much less a pleasure to achieve any worthy result.

 

So in others…causing pain worked for some moments,

Losing the illusion it had a luster of pleasure,

So someone told me they had to have those cigarettes and the

Booze rotting their guts and brains,

And all I saw seemed like tarred lungs and a besotted bleeding brains

And their tears of ongoing calamity and cheap melodrama unnecessary,

The musing fell off like piss and shit down a toilet,

I got grateful for the flushing.

 

Afterward sitting in rooms full of the self-piteous victims and their next would be perpetrators,

Triangulated by other perp-victims,

Waiting in line for a turn at that pain which looked like pleasure…

 

In all that nonsense, I saw you there and we conversed and got in rapport,

We seemed supported and cared for and we fucked and attempted to love,

And for quite some great collection of moments we loved and we fucked,

And we gave one another great pleasures,

You saw me through my demise coming through to live,

I could not see you through your madnesses and wonts to kill yourself,

It all seemed to go on the pain as you go delay plan

While I consumed your pussy in prolonged yet attenuated pleasure,

Leaving you to narcissism and the torture of boys with hateful mothers,

So she brought herself to me in longer years to come and come;

Hundreds of times she came easily,

Her pleasure blessings, longing for the

Divine blessing she found in the lesser resurrection

Forgoing my morning erections,

For the torture of an imaginary God friend’s love which never existed,

An egregore of delayed dissatisfaction,

Losing the mixture of our fluids during and after that which transcends the fucking.

 

Then you came and left too much,

Everything seemed important excepting the coupling you thought you cherished,

And you cringed at my pains and anger at the frustrations with living beyond all that,

So the relatives became more important and you and I less so…

 

Before this I saw a different you.

I had loved you long realizing later and sooner your narcissism would come to no good,

And watched your pain pill withdrawals and chemical driven obesity,

Briefly interrupted by a great many short orgasms and long deep comings,

And a desire for me to take care of you in ways which no Man can or would,

You paused our plodding at love with a night out wrong,

Seemingly dishonest like before,

And before when the real magicks seemed so driven and important

And the other males you wanted failed you,

And your husbands failed you,

And I left you before you could lie and say I failed you

While you continued to fail yourself

And wander painfully toward death on installments,

I distained at killing your distractions as they would come like endless ocean waves…

 

Now you come, fucking yourself over

Killing the endearing parts running from what works,

In the spoils of indulgence, wasted

Loving the devil of me,

Loving me as a Man,

So in this opus of your fatal deprecations,

The anchors of would be sorrows of this die before engulfing me,

And so we are gods, so we are partners…

While I go beyond divinity,

While I find some peace in my physical pains

And sorrow in mother’s death,

And my old good friends death caused by the same victim path

Killing you all so slowly

So slowly

In self-hateful murder disguised as suicide whilst

I kill my ego one more time…

WinonaRyder@SexAndDeath101

©mondohumunculero 2015

Man/Woman/DEVIL/girl

 

Man/DEVIL/Woman/girl A boy went to the well, a maiden stood there feigning beauty, flitting about with a ladle and a small bucket. The boy, almost dehydrated unto death, chased her never catching up, passing out. A man approached, thirsty and parched. He came up to the well, stared at the maiden with a great swell in his loins, lowered and raised the bucket, drank slowly in small swallows until completely hydrated. The maiden, almost swooning and wallowing in her juices, approached him and nudged her head into him like a sweet kitten. He leaned over her, kissed the length of her neck, turning her back to his chest. She found him, unleashed him and raised the back of her skirt around him, planting him and moving upon the length of him in her carefully, yet wildly measured stroking and thrusting…she came first, fainted and the man gathered himself and delivering a huge dollop of relief, pulled out and laid her to rest on the bench beside the well. He turned to the boy, ladled water into his mouth, poured half the bucket on him and walked away into town. Meanwhile in town, another male, older, and still not a man found himself chasing a crazed woman who was chasing feral cats unable to be tamed. The woman ate garbage from the street offal, pausing only long enough for bites of stale and spoil, hoping to attract the cats who remained well fed from the balcony scraps offered by the well to do. Their chief game consisted of running from the woman who could never cure them of their ailments. The old male never-to-be-a-man, died a little bit more each moment than if he’d become a MAN…the woman would die alone and oblivious, dreaming of young fools she made homicidal while an old witch doctor gathered their heads for the Dark Mother like dumplings in a bloody stew…She would appease him and recreate him as the Devil he was, cutting off his head while astride his blue member spurting dark purple fountains into her black hole yoni, while new Universes appeared on the other side… The man, fresh from his reliefs at the well with water and maiden made his way past the crazy woman and immature old male to the tavern at the edge of the better borough of town…The Devils Own, it seems…a big red sign with black letters framed with purple neon. On entering he saw a familiar sigil…at that moment he realized his true nature and smiled. The woman behind the bar seemed to say, “What’s your pleasure stranger?” “You”, said his smile…he walked to the bar stool tucked himself up and she poured him out like a parchment scroll of promised souls signed in blood…“Soulless I am and void. Fortunate at my demise and moreso in my enjoyments and indulgences…” “I will indulge you further later”, her heart welled up at him. He would drink himself sober again until then… The MAN/DEVIL stared through her into nothingness… She had to go on with her thoughts: I had it pretty tough growing up. I didn’t feel loved sometimes. I got the shit beat out of me by my father…my mother tried to comfort me and wound up scolding…my cousins fucked me and licked me. My sister locked me in closets and fucked her boyfriend loudly just outside. My brothers really didn’t have my back. I climbed trees and played girl football and shot deer and antelope and elk in Wyoming. I discovered I could make things happen with my pussy…young boys would faun over me, thinking they could possess me, only to find I drove them nuts. I have a special connection with nature and can get things to happen…you should see what I can do… He smiled at her as if to say, I know honey. He had made an lost fortunes and made fortunes for others. He had loved girls and some real women, meeting them on equal footing as a man. He didn’t need courage, he had determination. People could say belittling things to him…he didn’t respond. People would praise him for his efforts, he didn’t respond except with an occasional thank you. His skills and proficiency didn’t come naturally although easily and with little strain…when he looked at her, he had already taken her as she wished and took him back as she gave, as this is the way of those who seem twain and meet, creating an eternal moment of information and energy exchange, not needing souls or some such esoteric nonsense. When she looked at him, she shuddered inside and hesitated becoming curious at his darkness. Her imagination took her back to his eyes, again and again, she could love him, she might. The night in it’s warmth, dry and dark, would avail them a moment, a smile, and might lose him to some other sirens he would drain and cast aside as parasitic husks to be discarded. She would have him, please as just for a moment, no a lifetime should he pause from his eternal drives, and he just might…

Faith or fate?

One more useless easy to discard noun:

 

faith

noun \ˈfāth\

: strong belief or trust in someone or something

: belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs

: a system of religious beliefs

plural faiths

\ˈfāths, sometimes ˈfāthz\

Full Definition of FAITH

1

a :  allegiance to duty or a person :  loyalty

b (1) :  fidelity to one’s promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions

2

a (1) :  belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) :  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b (1) :  firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) :  complete trust

3

:  something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially:  a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>

on faith

:  without question <took everything he said on faith>

 

Oh we must protest here!

Firstly, we have thrown out trust; baby, bathwater and all!

We can only go on a person’s reliability. When they give their word to do something, do they keep it and how consistently it happens.

Most atheists I have encountered-there have been hundreds-attempted God and religion to no avail. No amount of praying and openmindedness reveal a God who had their back. On a good day, some folks showed up to help and usually the person got their strategy together and succeeded. Other times no amount of faithful practice and belief resulted in a desired outcome…why? There IS NO GOD except the bullshit in your head.

Certainly there is no Judeo-Christian(lol, previously demonstrated as an erroneous term), Abrahamic God. No Jesus ever existed

( www.jesusneverexisted.com ).

Have no faith in the Lord, except below my belt line when I love you my dear. For he is the Lord of the night and pleasure and the true strength of the flesh!!!

The Lord of the Old and New Testaments is a mixed bag, really a mish mosh of Old Mesopotamian deities and Hellenistic and Egyptian dying gods. All a contrivance. Maybe good for some old fashioned hijacking of entity workings…most of which will not find its way into the minds of the muggles. All bullshit contrived for your paternal yearnings.

So much of this garbage is extolled by women, sometimes I think it’s their daddy complex and their wanting to be saved by someone. Oh my princess, await my coming to your rescue.

So let’s dispense with faith maybe except- b (1)fidelity to one’s promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions.

 

Enough written about this shit. And I mean no insult to shit, which does have good use sometimes.

 

fate

noun \ˈfāt\

: a power that is believed to control what happens in the future

: the things that will happen to a person or thing : the future that someone or something will have

This one gets me wondering…

The first one is kinda scary and may have some roots in faith, especially in a negative intent.

Maybe the second one has more plausibility?

Maybe it’s something to get experienced after the acceptance of faith and a God toilet of predestination?

Maybe it’s just another bullshit term best rooted in dismissal?

Certainly if we dismiss faith we may not consider our fates after the fact????

Blessings? Miracles, and Soul?

 

 

 

All of these seem to come from Christianity in this society. Even the New Age versions are mostly borrowed from this beast of erroneous beliefs with some crap thrown in from the Eastern philosophies.

Going to Merriam-Webster for blessing we find:

 

: approval that allows or helps you to do something

: help and approval from God

: something that helps you or brings happiness

Full Definition of BLESSING

1

a :  the act or words of one that blesses

b :  approval, encouragement

2

:  a thing conducive to happiness or welfare

3

:  grace said at a meal

The most favored context has to do with help and approval from God…once again, what God? What’s the mythology here? Usually it is the bastardized form of the YahWeh-Jesus myth mess. People seem to love to give credit for subjectively favorable events which happen to their version of the imaginary friend…Fuck. How much could you be out of touch with the fruits of your own efforts? Does it come down to the prevailing thought that you do “the footwork” and “God” is in charge of the results? So carrying this a step further, have you set an intention and pushed an enchantment with a definite set of results desired? So how does this mechanism work? Enchantment and/or Invocation/Prayer?

The “magical” apologists among the “live and let live” throng would like to include everyone in the general context it seems…Well, OK. It causes the wondering at effectiveness of results…do you suppose?

At one point, I began blessing myself in several ways by writing down things I had gratitude from. Then I began to count my “blessings”, devoid of a God form or Supreme Identity. This went further in me extending my best wishes…er, intentions toward others, regardless of their approval or opinion (Uh oh, was I going against their will for themselves?)

In the end, for the sake of clarity, I dropped my usage of the word for personal communication, using instead, words less abstracted and more to the point of actual intentions and event occurrences. When used the word usually evokes the Abrahamic God nonsense out of folks and I really like staying away from it and it’s semantic cesspool.

 

miracle

noun mir·a·cle \ˈmir-i-kəl\

: an unusual or wonderful event that is believed to be caused by the power of God

: a very amazing or unusual event, thing, or achievement

 

1

:  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs

2

:  an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment

3

Christian Science :  a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law

 

This word is another unnecessary embellishment adjective. Really there are no miracles. Perhaps there is an art to working wonders and that might get called thaumaturgy. The word is used primarily to give credit to the non-existent Christian “god” for anonymous or prayed for wonders. Occurrences which seemingly have a low probability. These things happen naturally and are usually explainable rationally or scientifically and when not, it’s just a matter of the lack of technology or science to explain them. All else is bullshit.

 

 

 

soul

[sohl]

  • Synonyms
  • Examples
  • Word Origin

noun

1.

the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.

2.

the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, or as believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come:

arguing the immortality of the soul.

3.

the disembodied spirit of a deceased person:

He feared the soul of the deceased would haunt him.

4.

the emotional part of human nature; the seat of the feelings or sentiments.

5.

a human being; person.

6.

high-mindedness; noble warmth of feeling, spirit or courage, etc.

7.

the animating principle; the essential element or part of something.

 

This term is a tragic irrational. We have no soul as defined here. This doesn’t negate the occurrence of an information stream or consciousness artifact which has a remnant after our deaths. A stream or events which represented our footprint in these. However, we don’t scientifically have the technology as yet to identify and verify this. Thus, at this point all this is erroneous and a waste of time as a noun in language.

 

All the effort devoted to the nonsense of these three words gets wasted. It seems we’ll stay better off not using them and defining and identifying our happiness and live our lives and posit our attitudes with gratitude and love rather than attempting to get esoteric unnecessarily, especially when the words psoulless_emblem_by_akuseruchan-d45y37g.pngrimarily espouse one of the most deadly and destructive belief system viruses known to mankind.

Redeeming Social Value

For some time now I have centered myself on things, people and situations I like. It posits as a strategy of moving toward rather than away from that which I dislike so I don’t complain about the latterly nearly as much. This has been tough because there is much I don’t like, which unfortunately, I come in contact with almost unavoidably. I can write volumes about what I detest and why. I spent too much of my life in those pursuits, so I gave them up…for the most part.

I used to complain about neophilia and the obsession with new stuff, now I love it, finding the nostalgic boring and trite. I like to watch a movie maybe once or twice and some I quit in the middle to find something more likeable or read a book which holds my interest. Music gets even worse. I rarely listen to old tunes and bands as I have worn them out years ago. A lot of music, old and new, I quit like an A & R guy looking for the next hit because the tunes in question have grown passé or don’t have hooks which keep my interest. For example, I love Stones and Beatles, and like to keep them in my musical listening past, getting bored immediately. Don’t get me wrong, all this stuff is great…HOWEVER, I am DONE. I could go on and on about this-the redundancy is boring to the point of moving on to other topics I find interesting. I can apply this attitude to almost all topics.

Maybe most of this comes from people I see around me who seem unable to get enough of the same old stuff…their lives seem terribly habitual and they are uninteresting to me.

Most people in this society-thank goodness not all-Are driven by beliefs which are destroying everything around them. Most of us are driven by reproductive urges, consequently, we have too many people and too much greed with not enough people really interested in their neighborhoods or communities, not to mention the Republic. It seems as though the majority wants to be wealthy, even though the probability of attaining it-contrary to the popular money and wealth self-development gurus opinions and attitudes. Some of them even extol the elitism of it all. This has gone to the extreme of destruction of the environment and climate change to the point where skeptical beliefs have been generated to oppose evidence to the contrary. Let’s face it most want to believe nothing will happen or the evidence of it is a lie, or don’t care because they will be dead. Worse still, young people will have children despite all of this and the narcissism and ego centricity of it all. In fact, I continually ask people how them having children will benefit the rest of humanity and make the world a better place and none of them seem to be able to answer it well enough to legitimize their desires to procreate. Raising children, IME, sucked and didn’t produce benefits to the republic and the common good. People will avoid bettering themselves and serving as good examples to inspire others to do so…few of them will adopt children for that purpose. And while I deplore trophy hunting animals and the recent killing of Leo in Zimbabwe, a valid meme appeared how there was much more hoopla about that than 40,000 children who will starve to death.

40K

People bitch about the political state of things yet the vast majority won’t vote or help field candidates who will be real public servants. People still think Ronald Reagan was a great president and that Obama is awful, when in actuality their respective awfulness has to do with almost the same characteristics.

And what am I doing about all of this? I constantly work at changing hearts and minds and am able to do so with facts and examples, one person at a time. I didn’t marry and have children even though one appeared because of a selfish mother. I raised him through puberty and young adulthood with some success. Unfortunately, he chose to have children, roped into it I think, similarly to myself. Consequently, he now has two children, one with autism and he’s gotten a vasectomy or is about to get one. Fucked.

So I stay away from people who want to revisit the nostalgic or spawn offspring, I have better things to do than waste time on dead end streets.

WAITING

WAITING

 

Living on the putting off design waiting;

Waiting for the “right time”,

Waiting for the best opportunity,

Waiting for the “right person”,

Waiting for the pieces to fall together,

Waiting for the non-existent miracle to happen,

Waiting for LMFAO-“God’s plan” to unfold,

Waiting for the lessons to occur,

Waiting for the teacher to appear,

Waiting for wisdom,

Waiting for love to happen,

Waiting in line too many times,

Waiting on you,

Waiting on me,

Waiting on someone or something to change,

Waiting precedes patience,

Waiting on life,

 

Waiting on death,

Waiting on waiting,

Waiting, waiting, waiting,

Somewhere, somehow, some others make it happen,

Not having to plan,

They know timing is not waiting,

They know timing involves the appreciation and presence,

 

Of space….

 

 

©2015MHumunculero

High Tides

 

Sleep about me in your bedroom repositionings,
nightside,
Stepped aside for my wont,
Your desire deep and long and craving,
Starving for the presence of me,
the appreciation given,
the time indulged,
the affectation of the affections sought and
bestowed like lavished gifts,
Like parades into a heart-space of feelings,
Not unlike tears,
Not unlike unborn mingled thought-forms of lust/love;
Urging and engaging
Swelling and gone worrisome
Thinned and spent
Like emptied water bladders,
Mechanical hearts, fluid drained
With a will to connect
And connect,
And connect…

©2015MHumunculero

il-02

Spirituality?

 

Spirituality?

 

Oi, I find I must consult various definitions:

 

Merriam-Webster:

: the quality or state of being concerned with religion or religious matters : the quality or state of being spiritual

Okay? Bizarre origins of the
world’s most recognized word. »

 

plural spir·i·tu·al·i·ties

Full Definition of SPIRITUALITY

1

:  something that in ecclesiastical law belongs to the church or to a cleric as such

2

:  clergy

3

:  sensitivity or attachment to religious values

4

:  the quality or state of being spiritual

See spirituality defined for English-language learners

 

Wikipedia:

 

There is no single, agreed-upon definition of spirituality.[1][2][note 1] Surveys of the definition of the term, as used in scholarly research, show a broad range of definitions, with very limited similitude.[3]

It may denote almost any kind of meaningful activity[4][note 2] or blissful experience.[6] It denotes a process of transformation, but in a context separate from organized religious institutions, termed “spiritual but not religious“.[7] In modern times the emphasis is on subjective experience.[8] Houtman and Aupers suggest that modern spirituality is a blend of humanistic psychology, mystical and esoteric traditions and eastern religions.[9]

And finally, something from a web page:

What Is Spirituality?

http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/purpose/spirituality/what-spirituality

Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience—something that touches us all. People may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent or simply a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness…”
To me, this term is overused and too generalized to have any real meaning other than a trashy abstraction.

When I went to 12 Step meetings (23 years with great consistency) in the Narcotics Anonymous (NA) fellowship, the water of meaning got terrifically cultist MUDDY. Over the years I had some people tell me I was a very spiritual person and yet I was-in my last ten years there-an avowed atheist. I finally came out against the theistic nature of the “Steps” and their, in my experience and the experience of many I encountered who’d left “the Program”-great lack of efficacy. The only real results from them I got came from common sense rational thinking appearing like bits of corn in the shit members called literature…unfortunately, the dysfunctional inheritance of cult belief obtained from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) make many view these writings as some form of scripture, inspired by “GOD”, a power greater than ourselves found in the steps which arrests addiction and heals addicts from their “shortcomings”. Commonality in these erroneous-for the most part-beliefs creates the sense of connectedness between addicts which makes some of them think a loving, caring God has something to do with this when actually it may really come from people and their sense of human values known, I think, in those circles as spiritual principles. However, the cultist obeisance enforced by self-deprecating beliefs rooted in the Calvinist style adherence to Original Sin which came from AA ruin any possibility of broad appeal on a rational, factual level.

On a larger scale we see the search for the meaning of life from the philosophical concept which posits that humans are born “good”. This has spawned numerous religiosities and New Age practices which have little value except, IMO, to break away from. The real value here comes from learning the ability to create one’s own meaning by splicing various techniques and practices from religious and “spiritual” regimens.

On a magical level, I find religions and “spiritualities” abhorrent when they breed a cultist mentality. This is not to negate the value of adopting a paradigm as such and finding full immersion in it to glean mastery of the useful techniques there for use in synthesis of the magical operator’s magical tool box.

I have found more value in a temporary full immersion in beliefs and techniques, using them to synthesize innovative, new paradigms to obtain results contributing to the overall purpose of the operator. In this sense, spirituality is just another set of religious paradigms which may or may not have any usefulness.

Belief in a God or Gods when concretized may create a blind adherence to unrealistic ideals and beliefs which may create problems in the world due to the abandonment of rational practical problem solving and solutions strategies.

Along these lines we find a preoccupation with the term “soul”. Once again, I think, is a set of nebulous interpretations having little use when abstracted into a consensus generalization for use in religions and cults.

On a good day we may, at some point, technology permitting, redefine and rename this to represent some seemingly immortal information stream or “ocean of consciousness” devoid of individual human egos. Perhaps there may occur an energy or information stream to which the ALL finds an ever-present interconnectedness. I have always liked the concept of KIA and the spark, the inherent life force, which may or may not be akin to Manna or the connectedness which seemingly is the cosmic glue holding it all together.

Then again all this may wind up abstractions in the limited views produced by human perceptions of “reality”.

 

More to come…

 

©2015MHumunculero

The Doorway…continues

 

He expected her to be drunk, musing over something. Bemoaning something. Having an inner groan on a health issue.

“What the fuck Mondo…You, you just show up at my door. Did you think you could come all this way and expect me to fawn over you?”

She rushed on him, almost tackling him. He braced and held her fiercely, yet gently. She looked him deeply in the eyes. She almost glazed over and softened quickly to tears.

“You bastard…you know I have always wanted to meet you. I don’t know what you’re expecting…”

“Sunshine, I was in bed. I just …”

“I can smell what you were doing. I can see what you were doing… How the fuck do you get here so quickly after sex? You couldn’t have been down the street, I know who’s around here.”

“Seriously, I just did some sex magic without the intention of actually coming here. Here I am in the flesh. Winded and sweaty.”

She pressed into him in a loving way, “You’re not sweaty. You smell like sex though…who were you with?”

Lying: She looked just like you. I found her at a bookstore. We had coffee, exchanged numbers hung out, read books…went to dinner, talked, she invited me home…

“You’re such a pig, Mondo. You’re not getting any of me!!!”

“Hell, I had no conscious intention of coming here. I was enjoying myself just fine. I could’ve stayed with her indefinitely…”

“You’re so full of shit about that…” her Midwestern accent came through kind of nasal…He loved her face and different profiles…he’d kept trying to get her to talk to him on the phone.

“Mondo? Where are you? What happened?”

Diane has just come out of her orgasmic trance, sleepy, dreamy, wanting to come again…she felt so comfortable with him. It felt so right to give all of herself. He is there like a rock…so present, so real. He licked her the way she’d always wanted and mounted her after a series of intense climaxes…no one had ever done it quite that way…she felt like they had fused. Like they were made to fit together perfectly…

“Monnnnnnnddooooo, you bastard! Where are you? Come in here and let me kiss you again…”

OMG…his kisses, she thought. He’d let her kiss him first.

“Di, kiss me the way you like being kissed, like you’ve always wanted to be kissed.”

Oh, she did and he kissed her back better than it had ever happened…fuck! How would she keep him around, if anything just to fuck…this made her admit to herself how much she loved to fuck and get fucked…he made her feel loved when they talked and the way he listened to her, not judging her. Just looking at her with an open stance. He seemed and acted so confident when she let loose with all her crazy feelings and thoughts about her life and experiences. He seemed perfectly accepting of her, no matter what. She could almost feel his heart beating across a table like her head lay on his chest. When they came together it was like a love affair that had consummated and grown and increased in intensity over time…

“Mondo! Where are you?”

He was gone. His clothes were on the bed and draped over the chair, shoes on the floor. Fuck! She got up walked around the apartment. He wasn’t on the patio. The doors were locked from the inside the way she had set them when they came in.

“Well, what am I going to do with you Mondo?”

“Honestly Sunshine, I don’t know…I am kind of freaked. I have never teleported this way before…I mean this is like the travel modality I have always wanted to master.”

“This is too weird Mister…” She still held him and he held her…Godfuckingdamnit, he really loved her…this is just too weird. These were not the clothes he’d worn out with Diane.

“Well, I was just about to go to the liquor store before it closes. Tomorrow is Sunday and they don’t open till eleven…”

“Sunday, shit. It was Friday night at her house…”

“OK Mondo, that’s enough of this…we have to figure out how to get you home. I don’t know if I want you to stay here!”

Damn he was handsome and strong. She still held on to him. She could just stay there.

“Can I just ride you piggyback to the store? It’s only two blocks.”

She didn’t want to let go. It felt so safe and secure. Yet she also felt that he could be murderous and fucking diabolical and a dirty man slut…shit, dangerous to the touch…damn this feels good.

He released her. She had put her legs around his waist while holding him, and he could feel her warmth and was beginning to have a change in blood flow. It seemed time to push off for now.

“I’ll have to think about the piggy back…”

She wanted to bite him and taste his skin and blood…no, not really. She wanted to rake his back with her fingernails and bite his tongue…she wanted to sit quietly with him and just talk and wonder…

“OK lady, jump on!”

“Cool, you have to promise you will not let me love you very much…I am very scared. I almost pissed myself…” It wasn’t urine.

They went out the front door. She locked up.

“I’m ready old man!”

“I’m ready pretty lady.”

She jumped on. They walked the two blocks. She wasn’t sure about him. He wasn’t exactly like other men she’d been attracted to-other men she’d loved. He sure felt good.

“I am so blown away that I was 2500 miles away and now I am here. Fucking too weird.”

“Here’s the store!” they’d walked up a back street turned a corner, and there it was…a liquor store, next to a laundromat. She jumped off, grabbed his arm, hooking hers to it…she walked up to the counter.

“Captain Morgan, quart bottle, please…”

“I got this sweetie.” He smiled at her. As always a wad of cash in his left hip pocket, wallet and plastic in the right one.

“Well buddy, you won’t have any problem getting out of town will you?” By the way, I am not driving to the city! You know how I hate the place…”

Oddly enough, his phone was in his pocket.

“I’ll get a flight out tomorrow, no problem…”

“Where you going to stay tonight?” She with a shit eating grin…

“Couch me, please…don’t want you to get the wrong ideas…”

Bastard, she thought. How would he know what I want with him? I don’t know what I want with him.

Back at her place she got a little drunk…weird. She’d actually sobered up. They talked until dawn, fell asleep.

They woke up the first time…10am on her phone seven on his…her head was on his chest they’d purred while sleeping…

“I am too tired. You don’t have to leave yet, right?”

He didn’t say a word just looked at her.

“Alright we can go lay on the bed.”

He wiped sleep slightly away. “You promise you won’t take advantage of me?”

“No worries buster. Come on…”

This time she snuggled nicely. The fell back to sleep immediately. When they woke again it was 230PM.

“Shit, I’d better call the airport…”

“No, I feel safe, please stay…”

“OK.”

She was already asleep again. He fell out completely.

Much later. Later. It felt like YEARS and YEARS LATER, he woke up in this weird space outside, at the mouth of a cave by the shore of a lake. He felt he was standing. Gazing out at the horizon, he could see the Moon rising. Its reflection shimmering silver and gold in the lake. There was a loud bellowing like cattle but not cattle, like something very large, like a two ton bullfrog. There’s no goddamned frogs this large. There never was, not even 200 or 300 million years ago…Fuck, where am I, where is she? The water was black, opaque. Something was moving toward him without splashing. He couldn’t see it, barely hear it. Her head popped out, then her body…Damn, she was all wet glistening in the moonlight, beautiful, visual poetry.

“Hey you fucker. I am not that hot! Get your clothes off and get in this water with me. Catch me if you can.”

She slid back in and began backing out. He peeled off his clothes and came after her, swimming very close. She teased, keeping him at arm’s length.

“You ain’t getting it….naw, naw, naw…”

There was a huge splash, sending waves over their heads, erasing any romance or passion from the moment. Two large fishlike, no amphibian like eyes maybe a foot across moved toward them, staring dead on, chortling at boat motor volume.

This time, he’d eaten the scorpion…

 

 monsta frog

“You fucker! Where were you?”

Diane was on him with a passionate vengeance, naked. His hard curve past the navel steering into her with her greatest deliberation.

“Where the fuck did you go…you disappeared all day. I was scared shitless. Were you running around outside naked? Hmmmm.”

He looked at him, bearing down with all her strength on the length of him.

“Fucker, you weren’t under the bed. You weren’t hiding in the closet. The windows were locked!”

She had pushed him down flat and was jackhammering him, supine. She came. She came. She stopped. She started. She came. She could feel the semen rising up from his body and balls. He came in long hot, copious amounts that ran out of her onto him.

He passed out again.

 

He would fight this fucking monster with enchantment. Send it back through the abyss whence it came… she was on him from behind in the water keeping them both afloat while the frog monster came rushing at them full bore…

“Havawang, Chiatio Duxobum! Havawang! Ujachek, datk, datk…” the chant flew out of him with a great violence and she was terrified as a great, long, slimy tongue, covered with sharp bristles wrapped itself around them and in the sky a great winged serpent appeared, glowing red against the night sky…

 tiamat-chaos

To be continued…

©2015MHumunculero

Recover from recovery-a real strategy

Rather than therapy(which can help if result oriented, as process oriented is not so effective, is too costly, and takes too long), 12 Step Programs, and of course religion and spirituality.  Here comes a new strategy based on my own habit breaking techniques and those gleaned from others…

This is a basic treatise on this…I may cover each in depth in further blogs…

1.  Garner complete self acceptance without judgment.

this may seem overwhelming for those believing they have little self worth and lots of self deprecation.  A good technique can have great effect by writing down this problem and how you would advise yourself to get out of it.  Myriad ways that work are easily accessible in free books and on the internet.  Another useful technique is to find friends, associates, and family who care for you and have them tell you your positive character traits while you write them down…you can now make a list of these, stare into the mirror before bed and prefix each with the short phrase-I am-saying them out loud while staring deeply into your eyes…prefix these with the vocalized affirmation…I now completely accept myself without judgment…after this write down how this will cause you to change into a person loving oneself unconditionally

2.  Admit you have a harmful habit-look into it, explore it, write about how this has affected you and what your life will be like without it.

Very important: write out how you will break the habit love yourself and manage your affairs…

3.  Find people who will support you without judgment who will listen to you and only give you feedback when you ask for it.

REMEMBER AVOIDING TAKING ANYTHING PERSONALLY FROM ANYONE AND REALIZE THIS IS ABOUT THEM AND NOT YOU

4.  Learn a form of mindfulness meditation, exercise moderately, adjust to a healthy, toxic free diet—do this in ways that fit and produce beneficial results.

5.  Develop a completely new lifestyle away from the addiction supporting lifestyle. 

Write down what the old life was like and how your new life will reflect new beliefs, behaviors, thinking patterns, and a supportive environment.  Walk through this in the future from successful behaviors yourself or even others you identify with have used to make great success in this, even when you practiced the old addiction habit.  In practice of the new beliefs and behaviors give ourselves kudos and accolades whenever we have made progress…take stock of the progress and add to it in developing more productive future outcomes.

REMEMBER YOUR HAPPINESS AS A STATE…CALL UP THAT STATE NOW…INCREASE IT…STEP BACK OUT OF IT…STEP BACK IN INCREASE THE STATE AND ANCHOR IT WITH A GESTURE OR A VISUALIZATION ON THE WAY TO ITS ZENITH…REPEAT SEVERAL TIMES.  STEP OUT DO SOMETHING UNRELATED AND MAKE THE GESTURE…TEST AGAIN AND AGAIN REPEAT THE ABOVE STEP UNTIL YOU CAN BE HAPPY ANYTIME YOU DESIRE…

More on this shit later…

Water drops on green leaf
Water drops on green leaf

 

 

July 4th is judgment day

While she lay in judgment,
while she ranted in the dearth/death coitus,
while the flush came with rant allowed, accepted,
while the chant made demons of goddesses,
while the copious ceremony bored all with redundancy,
while dumbshit vows blasphemed holy profanity of lust,
and the foolish looked on like brainwashed Ayn Randian lemmings,
rife in the distress of American delusions,
unsustained,
Spawning folly into the abyss…
grtskull

GTFO-Phoenix-leave if you MUST and Stay and be responsible if you Love it…

THAT’S CORRECTO!!!

Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!! I hate this heat, I am going to move to a cooler climate…” 

“I am moving to San Diego, I want to live by the beach…” 

“I am moving to Oregon…”

I have been very happy when you have done this, because it shows me you don’t like it here in Phoenix for whatever reasons.  Personally, I am pleased you have done this because it shows you feel no responsibility rooted in a sense of place here.  So will you do the same thing when you move to the other place?  I am wagering most will(however, I do know some who do and have) NOT!

Naught. 

Nil. 

I love it when bands leave because they thought the “golden opportunity” was in LA.  Cool, you can pay to play.  Cool, you can get tossed out of A&R-which has changed drastically in the last several years only to find you’re better off making it on your own with a real business plan centered around live performance and merchandising revenue…blah, blah, blah…the rest of the entertainment world wannabes actors, film writers, and etc. 

Why is it many have moved back here or to here in Phoenix AFTER making it big?  Read ’em and weep y’all. 

Let me go on by saying I love the desert and I love Arizona, the land, the summer heat, and the natives…you expatriate motherfuckers are excused so long as you feel a sense of community and duty to the community by supporting local enterprise and investing in the people already here. 

AZ desert

And to you shit media consumers of the alarmist variety hung up on illegal immigration bullshit. 

Guess what you patriotic knuckleheads? 

This area was invaded by the US Army and annexed overtime from Mexico.  So when Mexican nationals come here, some of them think of it as an age old right of  “la Raza”.  When indigenous tribes want a piece of the action, please know where that comes from too…  The real deal comes when we invest well in Mexico so that jobs are plentiful and of livable wages there-most nationals would rather be there with their families enjoying the prosperity.  Please note; most of the responsibility for this comes from employers HERE who don’t want to pay a local fair wages and are more than willing to hire a “illegal”…whom BTW, mostly contribute a great deal economically to our local economy with their earnings, just like “legal” citzen/consumers. 

And to those of you aching to move to “Cali” to live by and go to the beach:  WTF will you do when the motherfucking place runs out of water and people start really freaking out?

Tell me how you like the traffic and the overpopulation and the economy.

You might wish you lived back in the desert where we do a better job of water conservation(with the exception of groundwater).  You motherfuckers from back East who bitch about the heat and etc…PLEASE GO HOME for fuck’s sake…most will be moving there anyway when the water problem peaks here. 

Lastly, have you “I love to fly and travel” motherfuckers looked at your carbon footprint lately and how you contribute to man made climate change rather than becoming a climate denier because the climate change shit interferes with your life style? 

Have you looked at the air at 30,000 feet where jets travel on inter continental flights lately?

30K air

So piss on you and your shitty selfish, “I want to see the world” mentality.  You ought to be developing WIN-WIN scenarios locally and socially so the bullshit in this photo comes to an end…

OH and here’s a couple of Cali shots for you wanting to emigrate there….

calisea trash cali drought1

Fathers and Father’s Day

I am a father.  I love my son.  He told me I am a good Dad…that’s nice.

I am grateful the task of fatherhood has greatly diminished for me.  I found it a thankless batch of work in which I would have been happier not to participate.  I know people for whom this seems otherwise.  If they take personally my comments and experiences regarding fatherhood, oh well!

It had always been my choice to be childless, my son’s mother had other plans…and she did plan to get pregnant without my knowledge before the fact.  She is very well educated from a well educated socially conscious family…  I am not a victim of her choice.  I chose to participate in my son’s life when he was 12 and have ever since. 

I approached it with zeal and enthusiasm and eventually grew to detest it without it affecting my treatment and loving kindness shown to my son.  I gave him time, care, attention, love, and direction and the opportunity to enter manhood.  He still hasn’t fully matured because he was not able to get mentorship from mature men besides myself and my experience has shown me that this premise is necessary for full development.  I came to accept long ago that the nuclear family is a ruse knowing that only the extended family with mature paternity…and maternity can help children become adults.  I also know that men only gain part of what it means to be a mature man from women and their fathers.  I have been shown we also need mentoring from real men, older men to make the transition.  At any rate.  I did well, very well, especially for a man who did his best to enjoy it-and did sometimes-and in the overall assessment, did NOT. 

Now my son is raising his own family…oh woe, oh woe, oh woe unto the prospects of this.  Until the world gains momentum toward sustainability and repair… we need mature parents, not more children…

At any rate I hope you MOTHERFUCKERS out there in the world have a great fucking day(BTW- I do love the sexual love parts of the fucker-fucking of the mothers).  I decided I am. 

Have you?fathers-day-is-mother-fuckers-day

 

Trust, forgiveness and other ideals

not personal


Definition of TRUST
1
a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b : one in which confidence is placed
2
a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope

archaic : trustworthiness
5
a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
___________________________________________________________________________________

When looking at forgiveness the definitions of forgive may serve us best here:

Full Definition of FORGIVE
transitive verb
1
a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for
b : to grant relief from payment of
2
: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon

However, when I look at the synonyms it seems to make more sense:

Synonyms
absolution, amnesty, pardon, remission, remittal

____________________________________________________________________________________

In the course of emotional events, people get hurt, people intentionally hurt others, people feel hurt from oversensitivity, and victim mentalities abound. Harm to ourselves and others abounds in everyday life. Sometimes harm is a consequence of purpose driven intentions-seemingly unavoidable. People also suffer emotional harm because of trust issues. Because of this, forgiveness has come into play. Forgiveness, however, may not have the same value as the surrender of letting go and when self care is optimum, it may not be necessary.

From long years of observation of my relationships and the relationships of others, I think the inherent problems come from trust and the unrealistic assumption of trustworthiness. I attended a lecture in the early part of the millennium by one of my favorite lamas-Za Rinpoche. His topic was trust and told me the major problem with it had to do with us not having the ability to fully trust ourselves as individuals because we really don’t know ourselves, thus when we attempt to trust others it winds up rife with failure and disappointment, anger, hurt, and emotional pain can ensue.

The root of this problem, I feel certain, comes from the victim-hood of taking people and their actions personally by attempting to trust them according to beliefs and standards not based in the observations of their behavior. When I treat every event as an individual occurance and let go of my desired outcome freeing it of all expectations, I tend to have little suffering as a result. People do everything based in their individual motivations from their beliefs and values and not necessarily according to social ideals and standards.

Usually, if the principles of integrity, non-judgement of self and others, refraining from making assumptions, and making a best effort at these principles in belief, thinking, and behavior, we may find ourselves not having to forgive or overcome the construction of unhealthy and anger and the subsequent resentments.

It can make life that much easier when we stay rooted in the integrity of not taking things personally and keeping our word with ourselves…

IN MEMORIAL

quote-the-american-people-are-free-to-do-exactly-what-they-are-told-ward-churchill-86-91-63
I am grateful for those who offered themselves up for supposed noble causes known as wars. Almost all of them are cannon fodder for the Military Industrial Complex and its prototypes coming from the Industrial Revolution in the USA.
When the facts are carefully researched, we can see the wars and their atrocity mostly avoidable. Yet, we are encouraged to “support our Troops”, regardless of the follies they are commissioned to undertake. The political memes used to garner patriotic support have successfully brainwashed the majority of citizens into the nightmare of our country and why it is widely hated.
When I am asked to support the troops, I ignore it as the underlying reasons deal with exploitation and the conquest of others for the gains of American business interests and the corporatism which rules the world for the most part.
I support the noble motive of protecting and serving the people of this country.
Perhaps that will be best accomplished by protecting us from the corporatist will run riot.
With all this and more in mind, I must mourn the millions of needless deaths in the cause of gain and laud the sentiment of those who erroneously believed they have defended a cause worthwhile delusion that remains.
Hopefully we can use our sentiments and grief to honor the dead by moving forward into peace and the deconstruction of the negative elements of corporatism.

the doorway

daath

This morning felt a little unsettling…

Some days started very well. Some male would spend the night…the sex was usually good. All this wound up short lived to a good end.

This morning, outside the door some kind of disturbance had appeared as though some kind of portal was opening from another place. She hadn’t walked out yet. She felt it and when she peered out the window she could see the shifting warping space.

She was thinking about HIM.

He stayed in her mind, only as a pleasure at a safe distance. He wouldn’t move to her. He wouldn’t come get her. He wanted her in his domain. It felt so safe and comfortable to love him with all her power and her passion, knowing he would be there regardless of situations and who they chose to be with at any time. When she wanted his love, she thought of him and felt it. She could feel his body behind hers, holding her when convenient and needed. She wanted him and was content at a distance…

“Fwwwhhhhpppppp!!!” The front door shut tightly, sealing the inside of the house from the head and wind.

“Ahhhh, I love my home.” The little black Bombay Cat starting with her high pitched mewing brushed his pant leg….

“Kitten! You do love your daddy heh?”

He sat down his black leather, soft brief case and walked to the master bedroom and into the bathroom to unload a voluminous piss and change clothes. He thought of her and sighed. He knew she loved him and how much more it would increase had she come here to live and flourish in his presence. She already had this too safely…she had no idea of the emotional dangers in him. She liked this excitement in the right context where excitement ends in the right type of pain for her and eventually pleasure.

She felt content as his muse. She viewed his sexual escapades for years and served as a friend, knowing deep inside there would be so much more, so much more.

And so she found her pleasure in other men without the complete fulfillment…

Damn it felt good to shake it out, to relax, and to ease into another evening.

If he could just walk into the next room into another place other than through a dream…

Weeks before in a mountain cave, the creature grew three faces; serpent, eagle, and bear. A Chimeric body of elephant, giraffe, and dragon wings…with flocks of Fire tailed swallows to gather all desired outcomes and artifacts of enchantment. It would be called by the chant and the entity it came from.

 

Like a special treat spread before him a meal of delights…

“You have the most special talents…I love it, I love my Oso…” She sank back into the purple sheets moving closer to the peaks so many have not experienced.   The doorway opened.

As this happened, he fell in the vortex of pleasure, sucked in…she came again and again, squealing in a set of colloquialisms he semi understood…she couldn’t take any more, he eased off, stood over the edge of the bed, pushing back the chair he’d sat in…

“Now my time has come…” His mind was whirling into the abyss, his entities of health, wealth, and sexual pleasure dancing about him while he chanted their mantras under his breath.

He grasped the erect, congested staff of throbbing, oozing deliveries of sex love guiding it into her with a deliciously slow deliberation…

“Oi, oi, oi…ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh…”

He began the rhythms he learned she loved and pulsed deeper and deeper seeing doorway after doorway open in and out of the abyss.

“Daaaaaaaaaatttttthhhh…” he said in a whispering growl, “Daaaaaaaaattttthhhhhh”.

She reached another set of plateaus and the muse flittered subconsciously into her body, expanding and taking the ecstasy into her consciousness as love, the kind of love that comes only through touch and a deep trance.

The elixir began its inexorable mixing as the man goo rose up out of his balls and he convulsed and shouted while squirting deep into her final throes of bliss that melted into her smile, eyes closed.

“Mamasota~!!!”

He lowered himself forward, face down to feel the next ten minutes of his body orgasm, falling through the doorway into the space outside her door.

She looked out at him, eyes beautiful and brown soft, “How the fuck did you get here?”

He began to laugh…

 

©2015mhumunculero

To be continued…

waited

waited

waited/weighted

life feels better sometimes
her eyes say
her eyes stay hidden with the I love yous
tortured by her mind
bewildered
the trust long gone
LONG forgotten,
She always remembers me,
thinks of me
wishes me there…

showing up,
turning around,
seeing me here
always
vestibule home for this face,
passions deep into her stations
again and again and again,
she looks behind her asking
where
turning around
I am here,
smiling, she knows she loves me
tells me in another place

We’re partnered apart these long years…

©2015mhumunculero

Qualifying my criticisms and evaluations

My criticisms are just that:

: the activity of making careful judgments about the good and bad qualities of books, movies, etc.

evaluations…more than value judgements. In the former blog, I observed rites I did not deem as magically illuminating. They had “spiritual” value, however, with me not practicing spirituality… They did not stimulate my imagination or inspire me to innovation. This is a personal view, purely subjective which did correspond with the views of some others.

Still, I participated and enjoyed.

I find magic and it’s practice to have to do with personal taste and the feeling a ritual might give. I like my steaks burned on the outside and red on the inside…
looks-a-little-charbroiled

Home at Last

When a sorcerer returns home from a magical retreat to absorb and apply innovation, introspection seems at a premium.

My introspection goes as such…I saw a lot of religiosity disguised as illumination…not my take on illumination. I have little interest in tantra unless it involves sex magic on a results level. I didn’t experience results level insights worth repeating. Random information generated by group consciousness seems nice yet once again has little to offer me in an immediate or train to a long term result.

Next we had a memorial to a suicide…Oi! In the words of a couple of esteemed associates, “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!”
Depression sucks, its true, however, it can and is frequently worked through. I will not approve of nor coddle such choices unless physical demise is immanent and filled with unrelenting pain.

On other notes, nonsensical divinations have their place…

While I was gone, Thanateros Productions LLC had it’s debut in an EDM show at a gallery. We actually made a small profit and people had a great time so it seems from all received reports. We will have more.
There will, as usual, shifts in mundane reality…

WE WILL FUCK it UP in beneficial ways!!!

Choyos all.chaostar