CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING NICE GUY (=WUSS)

Nice guys so often don’t even finish the race, because, they get pushed out of the way. This doesn’t mean that Alpha Males can’t exude niceties and seem sweetly reasonable. The nice guy charm only works until the close. An old friend of mine, sadly now deceased, would always say to a woman he felt attracted to, “…So tell me. Are we gonna be fucking?” If the answer wasn’t close to affirmative and the woman talked about being “friends”, he’d say sure, give her his phone number and walk away. Sometimes she’d come back on him and they would connect. Other times he didn’t waste his time.

Nice guys usually are wussbags. They usually are Betas or Gammas. They don’t have a strong reality. They feel uncertain about themselves if a woman says no. They don’t want to find out why she says no and they feel insecure and rejected. Having been in that scenario and turned into the man women don’t feel attracted to anymore, I can tell you that this state produces perpetual unhappiness and self doubt.  Women don't want to have to be the dominant force or man in the relationship and they will leave the wuss in almost every encounter or relationship.

Very rarely has the nice guy approach worked for me when I wanted to have a worthwhile relationship with anyone. (Sometimes almost everyone is going to think that I am a jerk for one reason or another. That’s not to say that there’s nothing wrong with being friendly, courteous, kind, caring, and otherwise and that these are not regularly practiced. However, there are plenty of folks who spew bullshit and have victim trips going or manipulations and etc. and while compassion has its merits, at some point they’re not going to get any.)

I am very suspicious of people who are looking for “nice” people. Most of them are practicing some kind of passive aggressive or victim PTSD and do not want to assert themselves socially or sexually.

They are trying to slide by and are avoiding life.

Alphas don’t give a damn about the “no” because other women will say “yes” to his positive projections of himself. We Alphas see rejection as an opportunity to view ourselves objectively, not out of self deprecation. We know that humility comes from the acceptance of self assets and liabilities and that it has little to do with humiliation. We will leave that to the power brokers who pay the dominatrix to humiliate them in various and sundry ways.

We don’t always get the girl, but we always improve ourselves and develop a stronger and stronger sense of purpose and reality. We project this outward naturally and it attracts many people. We are outwardly friendly and open to almost everyone, but we exercise discretion on with whom we associate. We are interesting to know and not overly accessible as it wastes energy and tends to devalue. You might tremble a little in our presence or that chill might go up your spine, or you might just KNOW…

Now that’s VERY NICE, right girls! We will draw you into our reality and let you play and be fascinated by us. They can see that we’re self validated and self assured. We exude FUN! In the extreme, they can sometimes glimpse that we have accepted the folly of self-since the self doesn’t really exist anyway. Occasionally we will meet one of you who also has a very strong reality and presence and then…uh oh…there’s gonna be more than just chemistry!!! Alpha doesn’t mean asshole, most times, even though sometimes we’ll seem like an asshole to someone on a victim trip.

The hardcore, bad boys despite their outer toughness may be dead inside or just like emulating an image that is very cinematic (ugh…”The Wild One” or “Rebel Without A Cause”) and passé, not to mention immature. Others still, have originality and verve, not to mention BALLS. We know that everyone gets rejected and lots of times it isn’t personal. Some of us have gotten very in touch with our maleness and femaleness.

We love who we see in the mirror and we accept and live that no one outside us has to love us for us to feel loved. The strong sense of self love we have insures that many will and do love us. We consistently look to change. Removing or transforming liabilities of character and behavior seem very important here. The more strong assets we have, the more effectively and the deeper we get involved in our progress. We do things to improve ourselves that hardly anyone else does and it seems like an almost life long process which does give us short term, and of course, long term results.

Expressing strong boundaries remains an absolute necessity. The assertiveness of “No” cannot be discounted. We affirm consistently our likes and dislikes. We get respect for saying what we’re about. We tell our friends that we will not tolerate certain behaviors that are annoying or harmful and cease the friendship if the boundaries don’t get respected.

All these things maximize self care and self care is the name of the game. This is especially important when it comes to the melodramatic woman. She gets told from the first incident that there will be only one incident allowed or the deal is broken. As time goes on, we accumulate the ability to see this type a mile away, and while it might be fun to fuck her, that will take up the valuable energy we can use to find interesting, functional women who don’t use hysterics and crisis creation to get attention.

Finally, we don’t take shit from other men, Alpha or otherwise. We have learned to stand them down and not to have to play the competitive game. The world and its territories seem very large and usually there seems plenty of space for everyone.