If only(LOL)

da touch

If only we would have watched the sun come up that one last time,

 

If only the scent of flowers would have reached our noses as the most fragrant smell ever tasted,

 

If only we can actually hear what we say to each other,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunity to know and to love each other in a most special and endearing set of ways,

 

If only we could have considered those other sets of choices for decisions we made,

 

If only we would have learned what it was like to feel loved and to know what made us feel loved,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunities in front of us and seen them as opportunities instead of solutions to problems,

 

If only in this moment and in every moment, we choose to cherish the special, beautiful moments life brings,

 

If  only we can now stop tolerating apologists in any form and meet them with fields of fact,

If only the apathetic in the land of quit will awaken from the trance of narcissisms and inaction to stand with a more universal set of values in loving consensus,

If only we wouldn’t have to turn ourselves into solutions and we could keep ourselves in a gaseous state, not believing in much not worrying about anything. Only moving forward believing that the best possibilities will go beyond the worst outcomes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

©mhumunculero2017

 

 

swirly

Honesty and Dishonesty

The facts are in – almost everyone acts dishonest at least occasionally.

Seemingly most of it entails situations which don’t have much importance to the individual lying.

So those of us who think we practice complete honesty and transparency may find ourselves from time to time lying or engaging in something not quite transparent. 

The Matrix Experiment found most people will cheat to some extent

https://www.elsevier.com/editors-update/story/publishing-ethics/a-fascinating-experiment-into-measuring-dishonesty

 

“Over 40,000 people, from all walks of life, participated in The Matrix Experiments.

What did we find?

  • On average, people solved four problems but reported solving six.
  • Nearly 70% cheated.
  • Only 20 out of the 40,000 were “big cheaters”, people who claimed to have solved all 20 problems. They cost the experiment $400.
  • We also found more than 28,000 “little cheaters” who cost the experiment $50,000.”

One study has shown up to 60% of people lie

“The study, published in the journal’s June issue, found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation and told an average of two to three lies.”

https://www.umass.edu/newsoffice/article/umass-amherst-researcher-finds-most-people-lie-everyday-conversation

Men and women lie for distinct reasons:

““Women were more likely to lie to make the person they were talking to feel good, while men lied most often to make themselves look better,” Feldman said.”

” “It’s tied in with self-esteem,” says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. “We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”

https://www.livescience.com/772-lie.html

So possibly it boils down to self-esteem.  If our self-esteem gets mostly genuine and we practice impeccability with our words, thoughts and actions we might lie a little bit less.  In doing this it gets very helpful to realize while we aim for 100% honesty, the first step of this may come in remaining honest with ourselves and when we discern we have lied to ourselves, stop it at the level of belief and thought so the poison doesn’t flow well from our mouths.  This means non-judgement, positive or negative.  It also means we will do our best to practice feeling loving toward ourselves individually.

In my own life, this provided an opportunity to use honesty to improve my life.  In work, it meant telling the truth about products and services so customers could make their decision based on facts with little embellishment.  It also meant telling my friends and family the truth more consistently.  Mostly I found I had to say less.  I didn’t have to support anyone with false embellishments or unnecessary compliments as making someone feel better about themselves with a lie will sooner or later get discovered and my credibility with them would suffer and the relationship would weaken seriously.

I have looked at my beliefs about myself.  The teachings from parents as a child served as helpful contradictions.  My mother gave me statements about me being a special person with extraordinary talent and ability and my father told me I would never amount to anything unless I learned to work hard for everything and this would start with deprecating statements about my behavior.  I had a lot of shame to overcome and it’s not all gone.  This affords me the opportunity to work with it consistently.

A new belief which helped me had to do with first accepting I had ultimate worth on the eternal scale of value, this served me until the realization came regarding the nonexistence of self.  No self, no self-esteem needed.  This contradicted the pop psychology of its reverse theories.  In this model, all seems connected to doing and actions which come from beliefs, thought, and feelings.  Seemingly we a feedback cyclicity of thoughts producing feelings and behaviors feeding back on prevailing beliefs many of which wound up erroneous.  In changing the beliefs and stopping the limiting thoughts from guiding actions I had to do less to keep myself honest.  It also meant offering less up in unsolicited feedback, something which seemed to prevail in the “meetings” of the twelve-step cult I attended for a couple of decades.  One of the best actions I took had to do with getting away from it and the toxicity in words spoken there, when really the only thing which worked well came from the love in unspoken support.  Knowing I am loved and encouraged to love myself made me feel love for myself and others almost unconditionally.

Since moving on from there I have made beneficial and limiting decisions about my life and I dedicate myself, imperfectly, to improving beliefs, thinking, and behaviors and calling up humble, loving feelings for myself.  Much of this has come in taking better care of my body and general health.  Along the way I have been able to genuinely help some others, giving me more loving feelings in general.

In the ongoing set of conclusions, having a multifaceted set of perspectives helps me to less judgmental conclusions and statements.  Looking at what I say based on observations before I say them – this takes a lot of mindfulness to do it effectively and I have sometimes gone to almost angry extremes to defend my stated perceptions about situations only to have to make amends for the behavior in stopping myself from doing it again and making things right in my best way possible.

Honesty it seems, ought to concern the truth and truth comes from knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Reporting what happened, how I thought and felt seems like about all I can do regarding this.  Mostly, I strive to practice concise brevity as it gets too easy to slip into conjecture and verbose rhetoric.  In the utmost sense it looks like the less I believe about anything, the better as it leaves me more open to varied interpretations and perceptions which may have more objectivity.  If this seems self negating and contradictory, that will turn out a reader perspective.  I tend to characterize it more as a paradox like many other things human.

Everything-we-hear-is-an-opinion-not-a-fact.-Everything-we-see-is-a-perspective-not-the-truth.-Marcus-Aurelius

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2017MHumunculero

Zard origins or the beginnings of beginnings

azard land

 

 

“We have an interest in you Mondo…”

 

The voice was resonating into the top of his head, “What will you do when we tell you all? We must have to start somewhere in your own terms. Our race has evolved an inter-species from two species of different worlds and the primordial human genomes as we can explain it to you. We are related to you more than you know and you can have offspring with us in our female like forms. We have seven differing “sexes” as you might call them. Five of them are more female like than male with three exclusive female multi sexes when have seven complimentary pairs of chromosomes defining sex. All of them work mutably with conscious input…”

“I’m absorbing, as you can tell, this shit just fine. If you’re looking for a sperm donor, I think my swimmer count is low, owing to the age of the germinal epithelium and its ability to reproduce those little bastard makers. I find it interesting you’d want to breed with me. My DNA is loaded with most of the human DNA on the planet as you no doubt know. As long as I get to fuck these females and it’s a good time, I think I’m in…”

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAH…human males, always thinking about the neural payoff. And of course, we know you give off theta and gamma waves which heal and transform and create interspecies larvae in the information stream.”

“Should be a hella good time with you lizard bitches, I can feel me pulsing like a longer jizzing version of a boar cock. Squirting out little entities filled with the accumulated tasks and the abilities to make them real outcomes. We’ve turned shit into shinola and bio lead into bio platinum, hate into love, and indifference into universal compassion. We’ve made nightmares into daydreams and daydreams into new worlds where Gods are monsters and Monsters eat Gods like I do demons. Roping them and earring them down like horses and calves. Yeah, this is a fuckfest magical rodeo complete with chimeric spawn. I think I am gonna sink my teeth into your scaly, slick, soft neck skin and hold you like a stud horse mounting a horsing mare… Oh yeah.”

She-it-they grasped him gently with their sharp razored talons and breathed an ether into his mouth, anus, and into his urethral opening, causing his transformation and the sprouting of a second cock slightly below his current member. They got hurt my balls hard and she-it-they grabbed both, sliding them into her cloaca which bifurcated and sucked up both cocks, elongating them to dual cervices. She then began a vaginal serpentine series of undulations on his penises, moving in harmony, teasing and testing the very best she-it-they offered. After many long moments of variations and new synthesis a load like he’d never shot rose out of his balls which had turned greenish purple grapefruit sized. She-it-they writhed in their own multiple sets of ecstasy you’d have had to have been there to understand as it was multidimensional in content. , he contributed and she manufactured and delivered it.

Two hours later.

“Goddamn! You make my

shit explode. I feel like I could fuck a hundred more times and like I am a dead ton of flesh on the downside shift.” He had rolled off her backside and she smiled back at him, a lizard woman turning fashion model, black metal star gorgeous now with a seemingly singular physicality.

“Mondo, this is not all we will do with you. We will lay an egg and hatch a lizard bitch internally. The egg will hatch out a monsterling which fast grows into a creature of a similar look to me, complete with mature mentality. For as you shall learn this means works as one of our portals to recreating and synthesizing our previous forms. In this we find a longevity approaching immortality. We come from interior realms in the earth’s core. A network of cities beneath the earth, completely self-sustaining and networked with our kinds throughout our meanders through this galaxy and others…”

“Yeah, I sure feel something more than the four worlds I already walk in now. Like I could warp into other dimensional realms more easily than the most technical magic I have ever used or developed before this. Wow, I just went and came back…it seems I left for quite some time! What the fuck???”

She beguiled with a smile a voice with crappy small guitar amp sounding reverb. He almost expected her to sport a paper mache head of some lizard from a bad, 1950s sci-fi grade z film.

He had been in a different body and part of a set of many minds, now a set of different bodies with many identities living in different worlds, shifting between them at intervals the average human would see as so many fast occurring images like blurred video in analog translations. At once, a colonial set of higher life forms with a networked consciousness, riding on information streams.

And now he was that old Star moving from star cluster to galaxy clusters to the garden where the little flowering star had come back to orbit for a great long span of star moments. She shined upon him and inside of him and birthed little stardust gas clusters which became new galaxies out of her little flowering blue – green starbursts. He absorbed the essence of all this and lived this like star occurring living forms do and do and do…

 

 

to be continued.

©2017mhumunculero

IN MEMORIAL

quote-the-american-people-are-free-to-do-exactly-what-they-are-told-ward-churchill-86-91-63
I am grateful for those who offered themselves up for supposed noble causes known as wars. Almost all of them are cannon fodder for the Military Industrial Complex and its prototypes coming from the Industrial Revolution in the USA.
When the facts are carefully researched, we can see the wars and their atrocity mostly avoidable. Yet, we are encouraged to “support our Troops”, regardless of the follies they are commissioned to undertake. The political memes used to garner patriotic support have successfully brainwashed the majority of citizens into the nightmare of our country and why it is widely hated.
When I am asked to support the troops, I ignore it as the underlying reasons deal with exploitation and the conquest of others for the gains of American business interests and the corporatism which rules the world for the most part.
I support the noble motive of protecting and serving the people of this country.
Perhaps that will be best accomplished by protecting us from the corporatist will run riot.
With all this and more in mind, I must mourn the millions of needless deaths in the cause of gain and laud the sentiment of those who erroneously believed they have defended a cause worthwhile delusion that remains.
Hopefully we can use our sentiments and grief to honor the dead by moving forward into peace and the deconstruction of the negative elements of corporatism.