If only(LOL)

da touch

If only we would have watched the sun come up that one last time,

 

If only the scent of flowers would have reached our noses as the most fragrant smell ever tasted,

 

If only we can actually hear what we say to each other,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunity to know and to love each other in a most special and endearing set of ways,

 

If only we could have considered those other sets of choices for decisions we made,

 

If only we would have learned what it was like to feel loved and to know what made us feel loved,

 

If only we would have seized the opportunities in front of us and seen them as opportunities instead of solutions to problems,

 

If only in this moment and in every moment, we choose to cherish the special, beautiful moments life brings,

 

If  only we can now stop tolerating apologists in any form and meet them with fields of fact,

If only the apathetic in the land of quit will awaken from the trance of narcissisms and inaction to stand with a more universal set of values in loving consensus,

If only we wouldn’t have to turn ourselves into solutions and we could keep ourselves in a gaseous state, not believing in much not worrying about anything. Only moving forward believing that the best possibilities will go beyond the worst outcomes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

©mhumunculero2017

 

 

swirly

Coffee, coffee and devil’s cake too…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

amodern devil

The coffee shop opened at 5 am.

 

She had done an all – nighter preparing for another useless business task at a price that fills the pockets of her masters.

Someone else came up out of the earth at that moment. Heavy density, the origin like gravity, like the 4th force of the universe. He, She, it, animate, inanimate, phantom like yet harder and denser than the most dense matter from the stars. This life form he was dealing with had reached a its dead end. Of course, this often happens with many species. They reach a point where they cannot adapt and survive Will these humans evolve into another humanoid like form? Will they be able to adapt to the conditions they have created in their foolish lack of forsight?  

Not to worry, it would feel nice to do some whimsical things.

It reached into itself and pulled out several scenarios.

In this moment, a handsome young man made his way to the coffee bar. Behind him came our female friend lost in her anxiety over finishing her work project. She could smell him, sending a warm wave from her third eye to her groin. She saw herself with this man, whereupon he turned around. He very gently placed a hand in the small of her back. He looked into her eyes, and she pressed her mouth on his, touching the tip of his tongue with hers.

This was like a dream come true. How could this happen this way? How could this happen so quickly?

He ordered his coffee with his arm around her waist, she nuzzling her nose and lips into his neck. She felt very secure and confident for what she had to do in an hour and a half and he ordered exactly what she wanted without having to ask. They got their coffee and retired to a table outside obscured from the view of others. They took a few sips of their coffee, staring each into each other’s eyes, hands touching. She had on a skirt to her knees, no panties; a plaid with blues, greens and black with a black skin tight top, no bra. Her voice made his cock rock hard. She sensed it and opened his pants, freeing it in into the morning air. Her right hand found the tip giving the motion, which is perfect for him while his tongue probed her mouth, leaving the coffees on the table. Soon she was in his lap, burying his cock in her wet quim, and squeezing it with the muscles made fit from those hundreds of thousands of Kegels she did for years. They kissed wildly. Her vagina massaged that rock hard pulsing penis and felt the cum rising out of his balls several times, which she halted mid shaft, giving him the shivers of body orgasms she was experiencing. For some reason, this drew people walking by.

People pulled in, parked, getting out of their cars, getting some coffee of their own, some of them engaging in their own orgies and couplings. Meanwhile, on the street, two cars smashed head on with a fire truck close behind them, full of firefighters also after their coffee. They parked mid street, walked in and ordered before they extracted the injured and dead from the wreck.

Our friend from up out of the earth was laughing now. Here once again, some sex and death with a decrepit species. It wasn’t the great energy fucks he was used to in his interdimensional travels. Not so unlike other lower life forms he encountered, conjugating and fucking and exchanging genetic information. This is a species fast becoming infertile. Not only in body, also in thinking and neuro evolution. It felt pleasant to watch death filling the street with blood and shit from spilled guts, and to feel the fucking and the bodily fluid exchange from those who were oblivious to the carnage which had occurred outside.

Now in another dream on another day, the new POTUS and his cronies had gathered together to cause the destruction of the administration they hated so much. In this moment, the generals and the elite strike force they created needed for such a coup and execution, rushed into the room, weapons raised, killing all. At that point, another weapon was introduced, which disintegrates organic matter, and all traces of them vanished. Not even dust remained.

Back at the coffee shop on that other day, people changed partners and continued to fuck and fuck and fuck. The firefighters watched and drank their coffee. The cops showed up, the forensics team showed up. A lady coroner arrived who should have been a pin up in some men’s magazine from the 1950s. She grabbed the battalion chief on the fire truck who was another pin up from the calendars some cougar women hang on their walls. They grabbed each other and lay in the blood and shit and piss in the street and created a fuck fest spectacle that even the worst scat porn people will shit their pants watching….

 

 

 

©Copyright 2017 Humunculero

She does and can

She fucked me and I slept well.

Yes, she crawled in my bed with me after a couple of days of affection.  She lay next to me enjoying her sleep, having her rest.  And there in a presence of “maybe he’ll wake up and we’ll have a passionate three-day fuck and love fest”, I did wake up with a throbbing hurt.  It seemed so proud like a blurred vision for some and sharp for others of an ever-lengthening Priapus moment.  We celebrated each other. I knew her every inch, passionately in touch, smell and the vision and sounds of her writhing in ecstasy.

She had little use for my compassionate masculinity of well lived in BALLS.

She held tightly and kissed perfectly.  She grasped the explosions of my innermost fuckIloveyouandyouknowitastrue.

When she isolated and separated temporarily I got busy for my day like always.  It always worked in the end and at least served as a reminder about keeping on and moving forward no matter what.  In good faith, it didn’t work to take anything to do with her personally.  Both of us did what we thought we wanted to do almost regardless of consequences which got fewer and fewer in keeping our word to ourselves.  Yes, there occurred anger and consternation.  Yes, we argued at lower and lower volume. Yes, we planned better than make up sex.

I got to act like a force field around her vulnerability.  Just presence and appreciation makes it work.

It generates in parts from both of us.

She came through the field with creative action enthralling everyone in various ways.

 

 

 

©humunculero2017

Honesty and Dishonesty

The facts are in – almost everyone acts dishonest at least occasionally.

Seemingly most of it entails situations which don’t have much importance to the individual lying.

So those of us who think we practice complete honesty and transparency may find ourselves from time to time lying or engaging in something not quite transparent. 

The Matrix Experiment found most people will cheat to some extent

https://www.elsevier.com/editors-update/story/publishing-ethics/a-fascinating-experiment-into-measuring-dishonesty

 

“Over 40,000 people, from all walks of life, participated in The Matrix Experiments.

What did we find?

  • On average, people solved four problems but reported solving six.
  • Nearly 70% cheated.
  • Only 20 out of the 40,000 were “big cheaters”, people who claimed to have solved all 20 problems. They cost the experiment $400.
  • We also found more than 28,000 “little cheaters” who cost the experiment $50,000.”

One study has shown up to 60% of people lie

“The study, published in the journal’s June issue, found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation and told an average of two to three lies.”

https://www.umass.edu/newsoffice/article/umass-amherst-researcher-finds-most-people-lie-everyday-conversation

Men and women lie for distinct reasons:

““Women were more likely to lie to make the person they were talking to feel good, while men lied most often to make themselves look better,” Feldman said.”

” “It’s tied in with self-esteem,” says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. “We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”

https://www.livescience.com/772-lie.html

So possibly it boils down to self-esteem.  If our self-esteem gets mostly genuine and we practice impeccability with our words, thoughts and actions we might lie a little bit less.  In doing this it gets very helpful to realize while we aim for 100% honesty, the first step of this may come in remaining honest with ourselves and when we discern we have lied to ourselves, stop it at the level of belief and thought so the poison doesn’t flow well from our mouths.  This means non-judgement, positive or negative.  It also means we will do our best to practice feeling loving toward ourselves individually.

In my own life, this provided an opportunity to use honesty to improve my life.  In work, it meant telling the truth about products and services so customers could make their decision based on facts with little embellishment.  It also meant telling my friends and family the truth more consistently.  Mostly I found I had to say less.  I didn’t have to support anyone with false embellishments or unnecessary compliments as making someone feel better about themselves with a lie will sooner or later get discovered and my credibility with them would suffer and the relationship would weaken seriously.

I have looked at my beliefs about myself.  The teachings from parents as a child served as helpful contradictions.  My mother gave me statements about me being a special person with extraordinary talent and ability and my father told me I would never amount to anything unless I learned to work hard for everything and this would start with deprecating statements about my behavior.  I had a lot of shame to overcome and it’s not all gone.  This affords me the opportunity to work with it consistently.

A new belief which helped me had to do with first accepting I had ultimate worth on the eternal scale of value, this served me until the realization came regarding the nonexistence of self.  No self, no self-esteem needed.  This contradicted the pop psychology of its reverse theories.  In this model, all seems connected to doing and actions which come from beliefs, thought, and feelings.  Seemingly we a feedback cyclicity of thoughts producing feelings and behaviors feeding back on prevailing beliefs many of which wound up erroneous.  In changing the beliefs and stopping the limiting thoughts from guiding actions I had to do less to keep myself honest.  It also meant offering less up in unsolicited feedback, something which seemed to prevail in the “meetings” of the twelve-step cult I attended for a couple of decades.  One of the best actions I took had to do with getting away from it and the toxicity in words spoken there, when really the only thing which worked well came from the love in unspoken support.  Knowing I am loved and encouraged to love myself made me feel love for myself and others almost unconditionally.

Since moving on from there I have made beneficial and limiting decisions about my life and I dedicate myself, imperfectly, to improving beliefs, thinking, and behaviors and calling up humble, loving feelings for myself.  Much of this has come in taking better care of my body and general health.  Along the way I have been able to genuinely help some others, giving me more loving feelings in general.

In the ongoing set of conclusions, having a multifaceted set of perspectives helps me to less judgmental conclusions and statements.  Looking at what I say based on observations before I say them – this takes a lot of mindfulness to do it effectively and I have sometimes gone to almost angry extremes to defend my stated perceptions about situations only to have to make amends for the behavior in stopping myself from doing it again and making things right in my best way possible.

Honesty it seems, ought to concern the truth and truth comes from knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Reporting what happened, how I thought and felt seems like about all I can do regarding this.  Mostly, I strive to practice concise brevity as it gets too easy to slip into conjecture and verbose rhetoric.  In the utmost sense it looks like the less I believe about anything, the better as it leaves me more open to varied interpretations and perceptions which may have more objectivity.  If this seems self negating and contradictory, that will turn out a reader perspective.  I tend to characterize it more as a paradox like many other things human.

Everything-we-hear-is-an-opinion-not-a-fact.-Everything-we-see-is-a-perspective-not-the-truth.-Marcus-Aurelius

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2017MHumunculero

PLEASE DON’T

agood shot

 

There’s a lot of chatter about Islam and its evils.  Yes, the various sects of this faith have some radical variants which want to impose their rigid way of life on everyone.  When we compare this to radical evangelical Christians and their collateral murderous spin offs we don’t see a lot of differences.  They have all killed about the same amount of people.  I am wondering if the same can be said about Judaism on a proportionate basis.  At any rate, they have incited, mostly involuntarily, evangelicals and inspired radical Islamists to aid or destroy them.  Zionists have an equal part in the “monotheist” paradigm for their level of contribution. 

At any rate, if these religions get widely accepted as mythology and their codes debunked along with the mythologies of other religions – Hinduism and Buddhism are not exempt – we may have a chance to free up humanity long enough to save life on the planet.

That the Abrahamic mythologies affect at least 3.5B people on the planet seems great cause for a rational activism in educating the masses.  The religions are all myth.  There was no Abraham, no Moses, no Solomon, no Jesus, no Mohammed going to heaven – none of this.  Scholars have shown repeatedly that the old Testament is rife with myth until 600BCE and there’s no historic or archeological proof for any of the mythical figures or real historic figures and their mythos.  Most of these religions got established through warfare and the subjugation of peoples and cultures – yes even Buddhism.

This getting stated, can we afford sacred cows in our societies and cultures?  Should we allow ancient, outdated, repressive codes to determine our destiny?  Oddly enough, the erroneous beliefs and thinking have shaped the destiny of our world through a dark and distorted lens which does not practice what it preaches about the sanctity of life and the exaltation of the worth of life on Earth.  I have little wonder at the presence of the apocalyptic beliefs rife in most of the Abrahamic religions and their predecessors.  It looks a like a neurotic, human lemming delusion.  Our species – seeking unconsciously – to extinct itself as another failed species “experiment”.  The natural phenomena of industrialization puking poison into the environment posits this distinct possibility all around us.  If capitalism seems like an outgrowth of industrialized civilization, so far, the system has shown us a clear path to extinction.  These economies rule the world and destroy it as we live and still breathe.

The fact we have thought of numerous solutions to our manifested destiny can give glimmers of a way out toward survival.  Capitalism has it’s uses however, we don’t think runaway consumerism can do anything except destroy us as it seems to already have proved. Should our estimates turn out wrong, it won’t harm us and life on the planet to go to nonpolluting, renewable energies and the production of ecologically sound products and lifestyles.  Maybe we can do as Buckminster Fuller postulated.  Maybe Malthus had a point?  Nonetheless, overpopulation and our current consumptive human world seem the likely root cause of it all.  We really have not shown the significant improvements which will result in our survival and evolution to more adapted levels.  Maybe our collective genomes have reached their endpoint?

On the doomsday timeclock, it we accept the model, we are beyond the 11th hour and must motivate ourselves to act NOW.  We must clean up in many ways.  We must base our economic systems so that small groups of people and families do not control the well-being of our species as they do not have this in mind for the most part and this system stays in epic fail mode.  Greed and selfishness will spell our demise unless opportunity gets created for making the greatest profits ever without prophets.

We all know money must get out of politics.  We know countries don’t run well like businesses and the goals of most corporations and large private businesses do not coincide with the needs of the people who largely support them.  Religion needs to get placed in a recreational category and ought not get taken seriously except to provide a vehicle of transcendence.  We must get united behind our survival and enhancement of life on this planet as we won’t find ourselves able to leave it in time to avoid our extinction.  So, casting aside the divisiveness in “scripture” for the unifying principles which also seem inherent in our species might wind up the best solution.  We can spend our time caring for our planet and hence one another.  We can forge a new destiny other than our imminent demise.  Those who prove the thinking and beliefs causing greed and its irresponsibility will have to get pushed out of the way so we can live on.

It will only work if we can change our pursuit of pleasure into the pleasurable pursuit of our deepest caring for each other.

 

 

©2017mhumunculero

recovery

recovery

[ri-kuhv-uh-ree] 

Spell Syllables

 

  1. the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or takenaway.

 

  1. restoration or return to health from sickness.

 

  1. restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.

 

When we discuss the term in terms of overcoming addiction we know the consensus definition in the majority of addiction “recovery” communities comes from the disease model:

  1. restoration or return to health from sickness.

When many discover addiction is not a disease this term gets erroneous. 

Most will apologize by taking on

  1. restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.

However, this is out of context.

When we return, or move forward to another state from those which occur in addiction it has to do with belief and behavioral modification after detoxification in the case of drugs/alcohol and moderation or abstinence in other behavioral variants like gambling, sex, food, and etc.  Each of which may require a peculiar first strategy.

In moving away from the highly unsuccessful 12 Step model – it’s not attractive to most who have a problem with addiction, mostly having to do with the religiosity involved and the cultist atmosphere in meetings along with the attendant brainwashing.  There are some out of the many who experience addiction whom have had success in overcoming addictions and went on to live productive happy lives.  Most of the data indicates people stop and change on their own without treatment or without a 12 Step program.

The numbers are too woefully small to give great kudos to the Stepper model.  It seems best described as working for some.

Moving beyond the latterly model (I used it for 23 years and found addiction a symptom of erroneous beliefs and traumatic imprints, leaving the value of twelve steps as a superficial fix instead of a complete renovation) I didn’t have a spiritual problem as there was no spirit involved except attitude and the relativism of terms as such had to get cast aside. I had a problem with self-loathing which a God could not change.  It made me want to check out of reality.  I woke up every day hating myself and life, basically staying busy, just to stay busy and getting loaded hoping to somehow make my life bearable.  I had successes more than failures and some very acute “bottoms”.  The reality seemed a chronic depression enhanced by drugs.

Rather than go through the many regimens I worked to get this out of me I can tell you it boiled down to assessing how well I had loved and respected myself and how I would improve it. 

I decided to love myself and my life and over time things changed and got better so if a lapse in my self-care occurred I learned to right myself at some point and experience greater improvement.  To this day, I am still improving not expecting perfection (another erroneous term IMO).

Key in these things, I believe, comes from making a decision and developing a plan to stop, moderate, change behavior and belief, and learn to love and appreciate life.  Practicing the cherishing of ourselves on a consistent, daily basis has given great benefits.  For me the biggest changes came when I decided my attitude had everything to do with my treatment of myself and others.  Not thinking the best or the worst – staying out of judgements of any kind and sticking with impeccable belief, thought, and action patterns and realizing mistakes will be made and new strategies can develop from them.  Productive strategies which give collectively beneficial results.

I have also seen the value of loving support from those who truly love us, no strings attached.  I also believe this has an integral part in conquering addiction and learning to live a life of self-love and appreciation inside an outside this bag of flesh, housing consciousness.

 

©2017mhumunculero

GODZ N BEARS

Hungry like the spring awakened bear am I,

Fed long through the night on the fat of your landing,

Aimed at the self-hate and deprecation of the shame collected,

A target laid to rest in an old world holiday of dead matrons,

Leftover roadkill from the worst of the chivalrous age,

Believing men are worshippers of the narcissistic and immature of women bled,

Devotees of lost dreams and fantasies at once fulfilled and discarded,

Unable to castrate the King of Bears and Alpha Doggers

 

Try as she would whilst her flesh I pounded in not taking these tirades so personal,

She moved out my doors to psychics and impotent old men who’d lap up the droppings of her dysfunction in families of dissed order,

To her sister, blistered and left enslaved,

unrescued,

Lost in her own dysfunctional peasant dream,

Oh how this Bear left that to conjugate a mother bear and left to find Freya with a new Emerald necklace,

My blue cape furling around me and my biggish hat rakish over the eyeless socket seeing from the bottoms of the well of Wyrdnesses,

Yes I am a monster of love delivered as promised, functional and far away from this would be, half dead, aged princess,

Deluded by ghosts of regret and missing the dead without acceptance.

The lower half of life with little joy has gone from me in an instant,

Decided and chosen by love for myself,

Away from those cortisol stressors and depressors

And adrenal exhaustive poor health,

Watching the fooled young, making premature future, spawning the innocents into a dying world,

Yea, I have crossed the abyss and the bifrost bridges, shaking ice from my furs, keeping sharp of claw and tooth for new love,

Fierce and tender,

Baited and well breathed,

Mated sevenfold to the maidens of Diana…

 

 

 

©2012 mhumunculero

The Stars inside you…

 

 

help me

“Help me help her, she’s in convulsions. She is saying strange names.  Her eyes are rolling back in her head. Greenish foam spews from her mouth.  Her heart is pounding too fast and too hard, I am scared I will lose her.”

He changed his frequency to this distress call.

He could hear it and see it in an information code in his mind’s eye.  He hoped for video since he did not trust her or the friend.  The friend’s style seemed like a variation of her own.

“She’s possessed and from what she’s told me of you, I don’t trust you.  I don’t know what to do…”

“Tell me your location I will come and get her!”

“No, I don’t know what you will do…”, this tone seemed too familiar.

“From what she tells me, you are a controlling old lecherous pig.  You want to rule her and restrict her!  You remind me of so many she has gotten with previously!”

“You don’t know me so how can you state this without direct knowledge?”

“She looks like she’s going into a coma, what will I do?”

The tone felt frantic and yet to some extent contrived.

“Help me I don’t know what to do…”

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Once upon a construct of a relative timeline through a wormhole in a meta-galactic garden where star flowers grow and seed through black holes an Old Bluish Star came to settle in an orbit off its black hole portal path.

The garden, if humans would see it might look so much like the best tended gardens of Earth.  The energy visions we’d see seemed like these flowers, shrubs, trees and grasses grew in unison and separated themselves to a kind of coexistence which allows their stellar presences.

Sometimes the Stellar flowers established a space where their protoplanets would form upon their placement in a galactic cluster of planet forming star systems.

In one of these star plots a beautiful Star consistently bloomed in great radiance.  Decidedly by our human terms this star had a meta feminine nature birthing planets and at full bloom coalescing with smaller gaseous proto stars to bloom larger and more luminous on all spectral levels.

Now, the Old Star had experienced and caused many transformations over the aeons as a progenitor and survivor of ultra stellar chaos.  So much a fractal of multi-dimensional proportion it seemed.  He had stellar consciousness.  A consciousness so vast we humans sense it as an immense current of energy or closer still, a great continuous stream of information manifesting in intersections with others of various proportions across the multiverse.

So now the dialog begins in emanations we’ll attempt to translate:

“Such a fine set of moments is beginning.  Your beauty seems blinding in the dalliance of now.”

She stopped him, “Who seem you to speak, Old Star?  You who has travelled through much of it in the now.  You who’ve known so many of great stellar import and brilliance.  Why bother with us in our harmonious journey in this ever changing garden…WHY?”

“And of course, as you smile in waves at me, you know it not meant to bother. I…”

She interrupted, “You came to join with me, exchange our content and intent without formal invitation or some other to introduce us.  Naturally, Old Star, we feel suspicious of your almost aggressive intrusion.”

He had to turn up his output volume, “Please your majesty.  I have meant to pay homage to your beauty and despite my usual discretions for approach I have found myself a bit bold and intent upon you.  When I sensed you on my travel through these regions, I had no idea I would want to make an introduction and propose an exchange…”

She interjected more forceful now, “You want to starfuck me, admit it.  It’s an acceptable request.  I can see some of the benefit I might have. However, dear old handsome mass of Mega Star God this seems a bit out of context in the haste of your approach.”

She paused and he returned, “Goddess of starblooming please beg my indulgence.  I can see your complete knowledge of our possible merger and exchange.  You seem frightened by the magnitude of it somehow…”

Again she interrupts, “You old fiery gasbag!  I want nothing more than to absorb you and have you adsorb and absorb my manifestations.  The first taste of intention drives me to stellar panic, I fear Supernova…”  She began something akin to what we’d interpret as a stellar hyperventilation, another pause for him to speak again.

 

“Please allow me to calm your fears and rest awhile in the best radiance of my ardor for you.  It will cause you feeling at ease…”.

She did calm down and let him settle on her with an almost blue and invisible shine, “Ohhh I could love you and call you Master.  You are so handsome!”, she would tell him this over and over as they basked in each other and she could feel love from him appreciating her and radiating his presence.

Then came a gaseous starcloud of great tumult.  The kind of raw, powerful energies and proto information which can cause stellar drunkenness in these bodies.

So in her fascination and confusion she consumed and her innermost desires manifested.  She invited him, “Come into this space.  Let’s mix…”

He moved in and hesitated since she seemed more like she would consume him giving him great bite wounds on a level which will destroy star systems.

“Ohhh, you Old gasser…you burn with blue fires which start star birthings and cause them in multiple regions…you feel like so much more than just an Old Blue giant!”, she stargasmed and whimpered in multiple forms and spectra after an almost what seemed an infinite pause like the space and peace of darkness, he started up, “Tell me beautiful what you want and want of me…don’t hold back.”

“I want to be owned by the right Master.  A true master I can love and will bloom love for with every emanation.  Would you, will you, OWN me?” she fawned as only a blooming star femme can.

“Yes, I will own you!”  A bluish stellar plasma oozed out of him onto her and they played and played.

She slipped through an invisible black hole and seemed gone from the garden and the Old Star wondered at this…was it natural disorder in the mix or did she leave to something else?

He naturally let go however, it did not last for the taste, feel, and enjoyment of her had no parallel.  He had exchanged and loved many other great stellar entities of her nature and most of them called to him through the wormholes with reverence and appreciation coming from his reverence and appreciation of each of them.  She seemed to have some extra draw to her…something he had not experienced the similarity of for the passage of much radiance and journeying through these star pathways.

He allowed most of his multiplicity of selves to long for her. 

The assumption of ownership came and he allowed it to compel him to have her and completely own her when the reality as such only gave him ownership in the previous shared moments.

Meanwhile she had come upon some fringe gardens, wearing themselves thin in another sector and in her drive to shine and dally any and every one with her pulses and radiance she lost track of her statements and promises.

A communication came through the ethers, “I have come upon my starmate, a little white star like a fairy twinkle.  She loves me and seems very protective…”

Really she had come back to her old system where a red dwarf pulsed just enough brilliance to keep her interest.  The Old Star sensed this entity and found it of low consumptive value with little possibility of exchange.

At one point the red boy contacted the Old Star, “We need to talk about my Star girl, uh, my ex star girl…”

“There’s nothing to talk about RedBoy.  She’s told me all about you.  How you’ve fed and drained and bruised her core…”

“Yes, but you don’t know what she’s done to me!!”

His tone felt jealous and possessive and unfortunately the Old Blue took some of it personally as he felt like he had come to her aid against this perpetrator.

“If you had maturity (the RedBoy had been in some star cluster fucks beyond his control which left him distressed and hallucinating) you’d have moved on from her.  I recommend you do it now to save yourself an early implosion…”

“Oh wait, don’t shut me out.  You don’t understand…” like there might be a subplot.

 Yes, the subplot seemed in effect from day one.  She had come to the Old Star’s region to get away from RedBoy and keep him on the string.  The tension they generated for one another gave her consumptive energy and slowly drained him to his self immolative tendency.  He wanted to fade out she had disappointed him so much.  Yet the tension she created excited him and caused him to flare with pleasures.  Pleasure which feels healthy and in actuality drains him to disordered consciousness.

She again felt aware of this RedBoy communicating with the Old Star and blurted, “Don’t talk to him, he’s crazy, I hate him…”

“What does he want to tell me.  Why did he get hold of me if you have ended it with him?”

“He still has some energies I gave I want back…”

“Why they might have too much of him in them.  Since he has a sinister nature toward you, why do you want them?”

“They feel familiar and comfortable.  He has good qualities.”

“Yes my star blossom.  So why don’t you see if you can work things out and not waste my time.”

“No, I hate him.  I don’t want to stay with him.”

The Old Star would play this one out, maintaining personal security while seeing the direction of our Stellar Flower and the trail of events she deposits on the timeline.

 

 

To be continued…

 

©2016MondoHumunculero

 

B = Ball Bat Queen

harleywhore

B = Ball Bat Queen

Like a broken dream

A fantasy realized turned sour

Pissing blood

Fire hose torrents

Given unto her grift,

Wanting to trust,

Knowing the dead chicken would not

Rot off her neck in time,

Feeling taken by wretched loneliness

Really needing a dick work out,

A sweaty, passionate lengthy journey

Past the rhythm leaving her coming and coming

Spent

Brassy like fiery trumpets of REO tricycle doom

Crappy classic rock and what passed for metal

Trite crackly Sovtek tube crunch eardrums

Attempting so ardently for hip

For coolness

Like the perfect summer drink in dry ears,

Only a misgiving, only a poor feat,

All he wanted to know was did I fuck you.

Yes,

you asked me, you fucked me star eyed one – nail cakes,

Like a parking lot status fuck for elevation in what you thought 

Seemed like a fun little club

And the dismissal of importance in too many things,

Wound you up in a dire circumstance of fuck and fight

With an institutionalized Hill Billy bozo,

Like a Steely Dan gaucho or Jack of Speed

Where the drug is PTSD madness and the cure

Will be suicide brains spattered on a cheezy apartment’s wall.

No firearms were used.

©2016mhumunculero

 

harleyquinnbatfuck

Enough

Enough


We live moment to moment. 

Each of us has all or most of the tools we need to make ourselves happy in almost any moment.

Even in the face of death some have faced it happily with a smile.

We may have opportunities to cultivate happiness from tools gathered in life experiences and trainings. 

The ruse comes in believing we actually exist and have a posited being.  We take action.  Our bodies and the chemistry which makes our cells, organs, tissues and bodily systems act and have a constant motion.  We move on a moving object in a moving system which has a connected part to all other moving systems we perceive.  In some great senses of all of this we realize our significance and insignificance.  We sometimes get glimpses of newly – in our perception as individuals – synthesized reality tunnels and this spurs something commonly called imagination, which consequently seems to make new reality tunnels or fantasies of possible realities we might experience.

The delusion comes in the self-deprecation coming from confusing identity with its progenitor – PURPOSE.

We’ve had enough of getting told our existence has some ulterior meaning other than living life to its fullest in the moment.  Some seem to have so much concern in a never proven afterlife they miss out on many of life’s pleasurable and rewarding experiences.  Their prayers to a mythical deity or deities only find an answer in cause and effect and random occurrences, yet the satisfaction it brings those praying and sometimes those who know they have gotten prayed for seems to fuel their erroneous beliefs as such.

By the time most individuals reach the age of 35 their actions and responses are 95% determined in the subconscious.  Thus we act out of ingrained sets of beliefs, thinking, feelings, and experiences from our past.  To adapt and change and find greater strategies we may have to break out of these programmed actions.  First we will have to sensually experience occurrences.  Since most of our memories are changed everytime we remember them, purposely living in the moment and having great awareness of the stimuli coming into us with a more objective perception trained to immediately filter out the canned responses of the nostalgic identity many of us believe actually exists as a solid form intransigent, despite widespread information to the contrary.

As we train ourselves to recognize our programmed responses we can gain a healthy skepticism about the world we live in and the judgements our minds give us whilst actually perceiving an event.

As we have done this, we’ve noticed less repetitive behaviors.  We actually got overly familiar with eras and their genre.  Defining and living in Purpose gives a clearly shaped identity with beliefs and values generating behaviors and creating a beneficial environment.  My purpose got elucidated and I create power and pleasure, very simply so living my live in the chunked up versions of those terms…Power does not mean over others.  It encompasses wealth and health and emotional intelligence and connecting meaningfully with others.

We remind ourselves to aspire to and achieve excellence while discarding perfectionism and perfectionists.

We will not take judgements and criticisms personally as they come from others and not ourselves.  We will not assume anyone to have our same set of beliefs and values.  We will focus and do our best in as many areas as possible, keeping track of efforts and results.

Socialism in deed…

Socialism in deed…

I hear and read a lot of fear based nonsense about socialism.

The right wing, on both sides of the aisle, have done the same kind of demonizing.  Far too many seem afraid the great monster would drive the country to a classless apathy a fate worse than the comfort of the irrational belief system of neoliberalism, neo-conservatism, free market capitalism, and now most irksome – Nationalism.

(In my personal experience, the early sixties had us kids doing civil defense under the desk nuclear attack exercises.  This scared the fuck out of most of us.  This leading to the assassination of JFK, RFK, and MLK, caused a major scare and kept the anti communist propaganda alive and the Hawks flourishing along with their military-industrial-complex cronies pumping out weapons of offensive of defense in the Cold War.  So many were primed to react in later decades and generations.)

So as not to fuck around with the quasi consensus redefinitions of the term, here we go right out of Merriam-Webster:

Full Definition of socialism

  1. 1 :  any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods

  2. 2a:  a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b:  a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state

  3. 3:  a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done

The definition above is a bit skewed to one side we think when looking at dictionary.com

socialism

a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

procedure or practice in accordance with this theory.

 

I was taught in high school that socialism chiefly involved the workers owning the means of production.  It can exist competitively in a world economy using capitalism as a partial vehicle.

The marriage in the US still seems a little overly capitalist when we check this list and its criteria – 50% ownership by employees – can be through stock options, profit sharing, and etc.

http://www.nceo.org/articles/employee-ownership-100

When I search for a list of companies which are 100% vested into and owned by employees, nothing comes up.  So on a good day there may be few which meet the criteria.  I know of two.  We might think people would work hard for the incentive this can create and no doubt some do, especially if there’s extra bonuses for direct contributions producing significant profit or loss preventions.  In these working models, the market is still a capitalist oligarchy even though workers in these companies own the means of production.

When it comes to government services, it looks like most of the American people have not taken civic responsibility seriously.  By this we mean, the Constitution has become a holy document, especially the Bill of Rights.  It’s wording seems to be viewed as holy scripture not to be changed to fit the times, so we depend on the capitalist oligarchy’s majority representation in Congress and SCOTUS to interpret the document to “fit” our times.  Since gerrymandering in this century has gotten skewed to represent more of the top 20% of the economic constituency – most of whom probably are at least indirectly supporting the top one percent.

Here’s an interesting study indirectly on this phenomenon

http://www2.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power_elite/interlocks_and_interactions.html

Since this was a business analysis from a social work perspective, I wanted to add the lobby expenditures I could find in the time span 1998-2016

http://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/top.php?indexType=s

Now let’s add the Princeton study mostly confirming the US is an oligarchy wherein the needs and wants of the mass constituency are not represented in Congress:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-04-17/princeton-study-confirms-us-oligarchy

So the Mainstream Media in their lust for ratings and advertising revenue has chosen to direct the needs of the people via biased information instead of objective fact reporting.

The report the most sensational events giving fear raising labels to headlines.  Since Nixon and Reagan, the Republicans, conservatives, and reactionaries has been indoctrinated to hate government instead of promoting community participation and civilian oversight of all government at local, state, regional, national, and international levels.  Now with the rise of the Dumpster and his legions of Dumpsterkoffs the infiltration of libertarian and free market ideologies have been spoon fed to the workers so they believe government is bad and corrupt and should be dismantled along with almost all regulations of the environment and natural resources.  The promotion of extremist ideologies especially on the right have found their way to the disgruntled who mostly have a short memory of the destructive havoc which Nixon, Reagan, Clinton, and W wrought upon the middle class.  Now in the age of Neoliberalism and inequality amplifying economics, small business gets crunched and multinational corporations ride the tides of the “free market” ideology in practice.

At this juncture many Americans don’t care.  Many have given up and acquiesce to the present conditions without knowing their depth of effects upon us all. So much of our desire in life seems to come from instant gratification most don’t have a sense of civic responsibility toward the well-being of our neighborhoods, cities, communities, and states.  Have we become so ignorant, complacent, and apathetic that we are no longer willing to do anything about our dilemma?  How many would be willing to serve without pay on civilian oversight committees?  While we do know some companies who have taken interest in their communities most don’t and do not fulfill, nor think they have to fulfill their responsibility to the general welfare of the Republic, without which most would not survive.

I think there can be grand plans for these oversights and civil duties. Instead of companies centering themselves on shareholders’ dividends or private company increase in profit many can probably help themselves by improving their communities by more than just their existence and general contributions to the economy.  However, we must instill a sense of civic duty and interaction in our young people.  Instead of them getting too vested in election outcomes which don’t cause enough change, we need the elected to convert themselves to civil servants and depoliticize them.  Of course money needs to get out of their election processes and the media must contribute time to them FREE OF CHARGE as a civic duty.

We most likely have ten to fifteen years to get enough change for society as we have come to know it, survive.  Climate change is happening and we’re not doing must to stem it or worke the necessary strategies – which will revive and expand the economy to the real needs and concerns of the consumers. 

We must nonprofit and nationalize several aspects:

Energy, Medical – especially hospitals and insurance, banking, education, transportation, and etc.…this will only work with active civilian oversights and participation.  Private industry will thrive in these environments and the stimulus can go to small businesses so they can afford to pay livable wages and expand employment.  Incentives also need to be given for businesses to have 80-100% employee ownership.  When the people of the middle class expand their income base progressively the economy will grow and flourish and the twenty percent can expand to 85% and beyond.  Yes, taxes will be more and the military will be less as well as capitalist interventionism on the part of this nation these with the expansion both through privatization and nationalization (worker-community owned) can unify us into the betterment of our local and planetary futures…

In doing this we’ll have to do away, through regulation and economics, with the Dumpsters and Dumpsterkoff mentalities by instilling a sense of purpose and responsibility in our fellows by an expanded sense of social – civic – democracy.

showing

The moment again,

The kisses and touching the best ever again,

It feels so going in good again she says

Enjoyed and savored

Prolonged again and again,

Deep and enjoyed again,

Enjoyed again

The relentless drive appreciated

Present

Passion in waves sincere

The cling of wetness closest of all,

She loves and always remembers

The pleasure seems endlessly continuous

When it happens

The thought of it makes it happen,

Blooming flower she,

She blooming out of you,

A slight lemony smell of delight,

You found this core to stretch and pump and

Tongue tease

A vascular bastion throbbing

For long hours languished in you…

 

©2016mhumunculero

All in ALL the halls

Darkened matter pervading my perversions of the speculative

The purloinment of goodness futures,

Future goodness of loins satisfied ten thousand times,

Dreams of you and of me again and again,

All the uses of me for all the yous paraded in these dreams once nightmarish…

Then again I was the man who rode the mare into the night

Eight legs she has and myself, blue cloak flailing in winter windigs

Wendigo fleeing, Krampus dissolving, dire wolves at my side monstrous,

And yet to you I am the greater monster,

Death angel beyond Azazel and all that,

An interdimensional information stream of entropy,

Helping me die the ten thousand little deaths,

Living each moment to its utmost,

The power of creation,

Ideations of pleasure,

A snuggled up spoony ass late night,

The deep hot feeling of it all…

All of it

All of it

Like purple webs extoling the hedonism of it

ALL.

 

©2015MHumunculero

Redeeming Social Value

For some time now I have centered myself on things, people and situations I like. It posits as a strategy of moving toward rather than away from that which I dislike so I don’t complain about the latterly nearly as much. This has been tough because there is much I don’t like, which unfortunately, I come in contact with almost unavoidably. I can write volumes about what I detest and why. I spent too much of my life in those pursuits, so I gave them up…for the most part.

I used to complain about neophilia and the obsession with new stuff, now I love it, finding the nostalgic boring and trite. I like to watch a movie maybe once or twice and some I quit in the middle to find something more likeable or read a book which holds my interest. Music gets even worse. I rarely listen to old tunes and bands as I have worn them out years ago. A lot of music, old and new, I quit like an A & R guy looking for the next hit because the tunes in question have grown passé or don’t have hooks which keep my interest. For example, I love Stones and Beatles, and like to keep them in my musical listening past, getting bored immediately. Don’t get me wrong, all this stuff is great…HOWEVER, I am DONE. I could go on and on about this-the redundancy is boring to the point of moving on to other topics I find interesting. I can apply this attitude to almost all topics.

Maybe most of this comes from people I see around me who seem unable to get enough of the same old stuff…their lives seem terribly habitual and they are uninteresting to me.

Most people in this society-thank goodness not all-Are driven by beliefs which are destroying everything around them. Most of us are driven by reproductive urges, consequently, we have too many people and too much greed with not enough people really interested in their neighborhoods or communities, not to mention the Republic. It seems as though the majority wants to be wealthy, even though the probability of attaining it-contrary to the popular money and wealth self-development gurus opinions and attitudes. Some of them even extol the elitism of it all. This has gone to the extreme of destruction of the environment and climate change to the point where skeptical beliefs have been generated to oppose evidence to the contrary. Let’s face it most want to believe nothing will happen or the evidence of it is a lie, or don’t care because they will be dead. Worse still, young people will have children despite all of this and the narcissism and ego centricity of it all. In fact, I continually ask people how them having children will benefit the rest of humanity and make the world a better place and none of them seem to be able to answer it well enough to legitimize their desires to procreate. Raising children, IME, sucked and didn’t produce benefits to the republic and the common good. People will avoid bettering themselves and serving as good examples to inspire others to do so…few of them will adopt children for that purpose. And while I deplore trophy hunting animals and the recent killing of Leo in Zimbabwe, a valid meme appeared how there was much more hoopla about that than 40,000 children who will starve to death.

40K

People bitch about the political state of things yet the vast majority won’t vote or help field candidates who will be real public servants. People still think Ronald Reagan was a great president and that Obama is awful, when in actuality their respective awfulness has to do with almost the same characteristics.

And what am I doing about all of this? I constantly work at changing hearts and minds and am able to do so with facts and examples, one person at a time. I didn’t marry and have children even though one appeared because of a selfish mother. I raised him through puberty and young adulthood with some success. Unfortunately, he chose to have children, roped into it I think, similarly to myself. Consequently, he now has two children, one with autism and he’s gotten a vasectomy or is about to get one. Fucked.

So I stay away from people who want to revisit the nostalgic or spawn offspring, I have better things to do than waste time on dead end streets.

GTFO-Phoenix-leave if you MUST and Stay and be responsible if you Love it…

THAT’S CORRECTO!!!

Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!! I hate this heat, I am going to move to a cooler climate…” 

“I am moving to San Diego, I want to live by the beach…” 

“I am moving to Oregon…”

I have been very happy when you have done this, because it shows me you don’t like it here in Phoenix for whatever reasons.  Personally, I am pleased you have done this because it shows you feel no responsibility rooted in a sense of place here.  So will you do the same thing when you move to the other place?  I am wagering most will(however, I do know some who do and have) NOT!

Naught. 

Nil. 

I love it when bands leave because they thought the “golden opportunity” was in LA.  Cool, you can pay to play.  Cool, you can get tossed out of A&R-which has changed drastically in the last several years only to find you’re better off making it on your own with a real business plan centered around live performance and merchandising revenue…blah, blah, blah…the rest of the entertainment world wannabes actors, film writers, and etc. 

Why is it many have moved back here or to here in Phoenix AFTER making it big?  Read ’em and weep y’all. 

Let me go on by saying I love the desert and I love Arizona, the land, the summer heat, and the natives…you expatriate motherfuckers are excused so long as you feel a sense of community and duty to the community by supporting local enterprise and investing in the people already here. 

AZ desert

And to you shit media consumers of the alarmist variety hung up on illegal immigration bullshit. 

Guess what you patriotic knuckleheads? 

This area was invaded by the US Army and annexed overtime from Mexico.  So when Mexican nationals come here, some of them think of it as an age old right of  “la Raza”.  When indigenous tribes want a piece of the action, please know where that comes from too…  The real deal comes when we invest well in Mexico so that jobs are plentiful and of livable wages there-most nationals would rather be there with their families enjoying the prosperity.  Please note; most of the responsibility for this comes from employers HERE who don’t want to pay a local fair wages and are more than willing to hire a “illegal”…whom BTW, mostly contribute a great deal economically to our local economy with their earnings, just like “legal” citzen/consumers. 

And to those of you aching to move to “Cali” to live by and go to the beach:  WTF will you do when the motherfucking place runs out of water and people start really freaking out?

Tell me how you like the traffic and the overpopulation and the economy.

You might wish you lived back in the desert where we do a better job of water conservation(with the exception of groundwater).  You motherfuckers from back East who bitch about the heat and etc…PLEASE GO HOME for fuck’s sake…most will be moving there anyway when the water problem peaks here. 

Lastly, have you “I love to fly and travel” motherfuckers looked at your carbon footprint lately and how you contribute to man made climate change rather than becoming a climate denier because the climate change shit interferes with your life style? 

Have you looked at the air at 30,000 feet where jets travel on inter continental flights lately?

30K air

So piss on you and your shitty selfish, “I want to see the world” mentality.  You ought to be developing WIN-WIN scenarios locally and socially so the bullshit in this photo comes to an end…

OH and here’s a couple of Cali shots for you wanting to emigrate there….

calisea trash cali drought1

IN MEMORIAL

quote-the-american-people-are-free-to-do-exactly-what-they-are-told-ward-churchill-86-91-63
I am grateful for those who offered themselves up for supposed noble causes known as wars. Almost all of them are cannon fodder for the Military Industrial Complex and its prototypes coming from the Industrial Revolution in the USA.
When the facts are carefully researched, we can see the wars and their atrocity mostly avoidable. Yet, we are encouraged to “support our Troops”, regardless of the follies they are commissioned to undertake. The political memes used to garner patriotic support have successfully brainwashed the majority of citizens into the nightmare of our country and why it is widely hated.
When I am asked to support the troops, I ignore it as the underlying reasons deal with exploitation and the conquest of others for the gains of American business interests and the corporatism which rules the world for the most part.
I support the noble motive of protecting and serving the people of this country.
Perhaps that will be best accomplished by protecting us from the corporatist will run riot.
With all this and more in mind, I must mourn the millions of needless deaths in the cause of gain and laud the sentiment of those who erroneously believed they have defended a cause worthwhile delusion that remains.
Hopefully we can use our sentiments and grief to honor the dead by moving forward into peace and the deconstruction of the negative elements of corporatism.

waited

waited

waited/weighted

life feels better sometimes
her eyes say
her eyes stay hidden with the I love yous
tortured by her mind
bewildered
the trust long gone
LONG forgotten,
She always remembers me,
thinks of me
wishes me there…

showing up,
turning around,
seeing me here
always
vestibule home for this face,
passions deep into her stations
again and again and again,
she looks behind her asking
where
turning around
I am here,
smiling, she knows she loves me
tells me in another place

We’re partnered apart these long years…

©2015mhumunculero