For all the fucks given and lost

In the space between pain and the distraction from pain,

In eyes that want something they’ll see; the delusion of what they think they’ve gotten.

It got a little too worn out,

There was no party in the pain the chemicals eventually caused,

And living with pain did not make it bearable.

It made pain too much less a pleasure to achieve any worthy result.

 

So in others…causing pain worked for some moments,

Losing the illusion it had a luster of pleasure,

So someone told me they had to have those cigarettes and the

Booze rotting their guts and brains,

And all I saw seemed like tarred lungs and a besotted bleeding brains

And their tears of ongoing calamity and cheap melodrama unnecessary,

The musing fell off like piss and shit down a toilet,

I got grateful for the flushing.

 

Afterward sitting in rooms full of the self-piteous victims and their next would be perpetrators,

Triangulated by other perp-victims,

Waiting in line for a turn at that pain which looked like pleasure…

 

In all that nonsense, I saw you there and we conversed and got in rapport,

We seemed supported and cared for and we fucked and attempted to love,

And for quite some great collection of moments we loved and we fucked,

And we gave one another great pleasures,

You saw me through my demise coming through to live,

I could not see you through your madnesses and wonts to kill yourself,

It all seemed to go on the pain as you go delay plan

While I consumed your pussy in prolonged yet attenuated pleasure,

Leaving you to narcissism and the torture of boys with hateful mothers,

So she brought herself to me in longer years to come and come;

Hundreds of times she came easily,

Her pleasure blessings, longing for the

Divine blessing she found in the lesser resurrection

Forgoing my morning erections,

For the torture of an imaginary God friend’s love which never existed,

An egregore of delayed dissatisfaction,

Losing the mixture of our fluids during and after that which transcends the fucking.

 

Then you came and left too much,

Everything seemed important excepting the coupling you thought you cherished,

And you cringed at my pains and anger at the frustrations with living beyond all that,

So the relatives became more important and you and I less so…

 

Before this I saw a different you.

I had loved you long realizing later and sooner your narcissism would come to no good,

And watched your pain pill withdrawals and chemical driven obesity,

Briefly interrupted by a great many short orgasms and long deep comings,

And a desire for me to take care of you in ways which no Man can or would,

You paused our plodding at love with a night out wrong,

Seemingly dishonest like before,

And before when the real magicks seemed so driven and important

And the other males you wanted failed you,

And your husbands failed you,

And I left you before you could lie and say I failed you

While you continued to fail yourself

And wander painfully toward death on installments,

I distained at killing your distractions as they would come like endless ocean waves…

 

Now you come, fucking yourself over

Killing the endearing parts running from what works,

In the spoils of indulgence, wasted

Loving the devil of me,

Loving me as a Man,

So in this opus of your fatal deprecations,

The anchors of would be sorrows of this die before engulfing me,

And so we are gods, so we are partners…

While I go beyond divinity,

While I find some peace in my physical pains

And sorrow in mother’s death,

And my old good friends death caused by the same victim path

Killing you all so slowly

So slowly

In self-hateful murder disguised as suicide whilst

I kill my ego one more time…

WinonaRyder@SexAndDeath101

©mondohumunculero 2015

Man/Woman/DEVIL/girl

 

Man/DEVIL/Woman/girl A boy went to the well, a maiden stood there feigning beauty, flitting about with a ladle and a small bucket. The boy, almost dehydrated unto death, chased her never catching up, passing out. A man approached, thirsty and parched. He came up to the well, stared at the maiden with a great swell in his loins, lowered and raised the bucket, drank slowly in small swallows until completely hydrated. The maiden, almost swooning and wallowing in her juices, approached him and nudged her head into him like a sweet kitten. He leaned over her, kissed the length of her neck, turning her back to his chest. She found him, unleashed him and raised the back of her skirt around him, planting him and moving upon the length of him in her carefully, yet wildly measured stroking and thrusting…she came first, fainted and the man gathered himself and delivering a huge dollop of relief, pulled out and laid her to rest on the bench beside the well. He turned to the boy, ladled water into his mouth, poured half the bucket on him and walked away into town. Meanwhile in town, another male, older, and still not a man found himself chasing a crazed woman who was chasing feral cats unable to be tamed. The woman ate garbage from the street offal, pausing only long enough for bites of stale and spoil, hoping to attract the cats who remained well fed from the balcony scraps offered by the well to do. Their chief game consisted of running from the woman who could never cure them of their ailments. The old male never-to-be-a-man, died a little bit more each moment than if he’d become a MAN…the woman would die alone and oblivious, dreaming of young fools she made homicidal while an old witch doctor gathered their heads for the Dark Mother like dumplings in a bloody stew…She would appease him and recreate him as the Devil he was, cutting off his head while astride his blue member spurting dark purple fountains into her black hole yoni, while new Universes appeared on the other side… The man, fresh from his reliefs at the well with water and maiden made his way past the crazy woman and immature old male to the tavern at the edge of the better borough of town…The Devils Own, it seems…a big red sign with black letters framed with purple neon. On entering he saw a familiar sigil…at that moment he realized his true nature and smiled. The woman behind the bar seemed to say, “What’s your pleasure stranger?” “You”, said his smile…he walked to the bar stool tucked himself up and she poured him out like a parchment scroll of promised souls signed in blood…“Soulless I am and void. Fortunate at my demise and moreso in my enjoyments and indulgences…” “I will indulge you further later”, her heart welled up at him. He would drink himself sober again until then… The MAN/DEVIL stared through her into nothingness… She had to go on with her thoughts: I had it pretty tough growing up. I didn’t feel loved sometimes. I got the shit beat out of me by my father…my mother tried to comfort me and wound up scolding…my cousins fucked me and licked me. My sister locked me in closets and fucked her boyfriend loudly just outside. My brothers really didn’t have my back. I climbed trees and played girl football and shot deer and antelope and elk in Wyoming. I discovered I could make things happen with my pussy…young boys would faun over me, thinking they could possess me, only to find I drove them nuts. I have a special connection with nature and can get things to happen…you should see what I can do… He smiled at her as if to say, I know honey. He had made an lost fortunes and made fortunes for others. He had loved girls and some real women, meeting them on equal footing as a man. He didn’t need courage, he had determination. People could say belittling things to him…he didn’t respond. People would praise him for his efforts, he didn’t respond except with an occasional thank you. His skills and proficiency didn’t come naturally although easily and with little strain…when he looked at her, he had already taken her as she wished and took him back as she gave, as this is the way of those who seem twain and meet, creating an eternal moment of information and energy exchange, not needing souls or some such esoteric nonsense. When she looked at him, she shuddered inside and hesitated becoming curious at his darkness. Her imagination took her back to his eyes, again and again, she could love him, she might. The night in it’s warmth, dry and dark, would avail them a moment, a smile, and might lose him to some other sirens he would drain and cast aside as parasitic husks to be discarded. She would have him, please as just for a moment, no a lifetime should he pause from his eternal drives, and he just might…

Faith or fate?

One more useless easy to discard noun:

 

faith

noun \ˈfāth\

: strong belief or trust in someone or something

: belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs

: a system of religious beliefs

plural faiths

\ˈfāths, sometimes ˈfāthz\

Full Definition of FAITH

1

a :  allegiance to duty or a person :  loyalty

b (1) :  fidelity to one’s promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions

2

a (1) :  belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) :  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b (1) :  firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) :  complete trust

3

:  something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially:  a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>

on faith

:  without question <took everything he said on faith>

 

Oh we must protest here!

Firstly, we have thrown out trust; baby, bathwater and all!

We can only go on a person’s reliability. When they give their word to do something, do they keep it and how consistently it happens.

Most atheists I have encountered-there have been hundreds-attempted God and religion to no avail. No amount of praying and openmindedness reveal a God who had their back. On a good day, some folks showed up to help and usually the person got their strategy together and succeeded. Other times no amount of faithful practice and belief resulted in a desired outcome…why? There IS NO GOD except the bullshit in your head.

Certainly there is no Judeo-Christian(lol, previously demonstrated as an erroneous term), Abrahamic God. No Jesus ever existed

( www.jesusneverexisted.com ).

Have no faith in the Lord, except below my belt line when I love you my dear. For he is the Lord of the night and pleasure and the true strength of the flesh!!!

The Lord of the Old and New Testaments is a mixed bag, really a mish mosh of Old Mesopotamian deities and Hellenistic and Egyptian dying gods. All a contrivance. Maybe good for some old fashioned hijacking of entity workings…most of which will not find its way into the minds of the muggles. All bullshit contrived for your paternal yearnings.

So much of this garbage is extolled by women, sometimes I think it’s their daddy complex and their wanting to be saved by someone. Oh my princess, await my coming to your rescue.

So let’s dispense with faith maybe except- b (1)fidelity to one’s promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions.

 

Enough written about this shit. And I mean no insult to shit, which does have good use sometimes.

 

fate

noun \ˈfāt\

: a power that is believed to control what happens in the future

: the things that will happen to a person or thing : the future that someone or something will have

This one gets me wondering…

The first one is kinda scary and may have some roots in faith, especially in a negative intent.

Maybe the second one has more plausibility?

Maybe it’s something to get experienced after the acceptance of faith and a God toilet of predestination?

Maybe it’s just another bullshit term best rooted in dismissal?

Certainly if we dismiss faith we may not consider our fates after the fact????

Blessings? Miracles, and Soul?

 

 

 

All of these seem to come from Christianity in this society. Even the New Age versions are mostly borrowed from this beast of erroneous beliefs with some crap thrown in from the Eastern philosophies.

Going to Merriam-Webster for blessing we find:

 

: approval that allows or helps you to do something

: help and approval from God

: something that helps you or brings happiness

Full Definition of BLESSING

1

a :  the act or words of one that blesses

b :  approval, encouragement

2

:  a thing conducive to happiness or welfare

3

:  grace said at a meal

The most favored context has to do with help and approval from God…once again, what God? What’s the mythology here? Usually it is the bastardized form of the YahWeh-Jesus myth mess. People seem to love to give credit for subjectively favorable events which happen to their version of the imaginary friend…Fuck. How much could you be out of touch with the fruits of your own efforts? Does it come down to the prevailing thought that you do “the footwork” and “God” is in charge of the results? So carrying this a step further, have you set an intention and pushed an enchantment with a definite set of results desired? So how does this mechanism work? Enchantment and/or Invocation/Prayer?

The “magical” apologists among the “live and let live” throng would like to include everyone in the general context it seems…Well, OK. It causes the wondering at effectiveness of results…do you suppose?

At one point, I began blessing myself in several ways by writing down things I had gratitude from. Then I began to count my “blessings”, devoid of a God form or Supreme Identity. This went further in me extending my best wishes…er, intentions toward others, regardless of their approval or opinion (Uh oh, was I going against their will for themselves?)

In the end, for the sake of clarity, I dropped my usage of the word for personal communication, using instead, words less abstracted and more to the point of actual intentions and event occurrences. When used the word usually evokes the Abrahamic God nonsense out of folks and I really like staying away from it and it’s semantic cesspool.

 

miracle

noun mir·a·cle \ˈmir-i-kəl\

: an unusual or wonderful event that is believed to be caused by the power of God

: a very amazing or unusual event, thing, or achievement

 

1

:  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs

2

:  an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment

3

Christian Science :  a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law

 

This word is another unnecessary embellishment adjective. Really there are no miracles. Perhaps there is an art to working wonders and that might get called thaumaturgy. The word is used primarily to give credit to the non-existent Christian “god” for anonymous or prayed for wonders. Occurrences which seemingly have a low probability. These things happen naturally and are usually explainable rationally or scientifically and when not, it’s just a matter of the lack of technology or science to explain them. All else is bullshit.

 

 

 

soul

[sohl]

  • Synonyms
  • Examples
  • Word Origin

noun

1.

the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.

2.

the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, or as believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come:

arguing the immortality of the soul.

3.

the disembodied spirit of a deceased person:

He feared the soul of the deceased would haunt him.

4.

the emotional part of human nature; the seat of the feelings or sentiments.

5.

a human being; person.

6.

high-mindedness; noble warmth of feeling, spirit or courage, etc.

7.

the animating principle; the essential element or part of something.

 

This term is a tragic irrational. We have no soul as defined here. This doesn’t negate the occurrence of an information stream or consciousness artifact which has a remnant after our deaths. A stream or events which represented our footprint in these. However, we don’t scientifically have the technology as yet to identify and verify this. Thus, at this point all this is erroneous and a waste of time as a noun in language.

 

All the effort devoted to the nonsense of these three words gets wasted. It seems we’ll stay better off not using them and defining and identifying our happiness and live our lives and posit our attitudes with gratitude and love rather than attempting to get esoteric unnecessarily, especially when the words psoulless_emblem_by_akuseruchan-d45y37g.pngrimarily espouse one of the most deadly and destructive belief system viruses known to mankind.