Once upon a Zard…she had pale gray green skin, very pale

white reptile

“Fuck! I keep waking up.  I am having dreams about rooms in unfamiliar houses .  My skin is different in these dreams.  I have a ridge running down my back.  I hear voices in a language which is not like well-formed human words.  It’s like a combination of hissing and clicking with some phonetic enunciation.  I keep seeing an age old series of images like a mural of some alien, somewhat humanoid species looks like…”

He was thinking:

Must be some subconscious artifact having to do with a changing identity…she’s been very distant.  Like a savant choosing to stay in other worlds…

“Honey, do you think I am narcissistic?” She looked serious and then gave a hesitant smile.

“Sometimes you are a bit…we all are a bit, the I love myself in a conditional set of ways too much so…” I smiled at her thinking about the gateways I could open if she’d let me.    I had never seen a prater human intelligence I couldn’t build rapport with…maybe I would?  After all, where is the opportunity?

She was starting to get annoyed, “I feel like I am neglecting others to feed myself and


still feel I need more…”

I had no response…

except, looking in her eyes telling her, I am here for you because I don’t abandon me, etc…”Partner, tell me more…”

We had just begun our workings.  My work involves creating a new, more innovative species of terran.  Hers involves reviving an old one and knowing the secrets which may be lost.  Gaining characteristics via invoking the old forms and the strategies of their successes in thriving amongst humanity.

My experiences with the other-than-humanoid have drawn me toward the new species angle as the old ones, when they mix with us do not produce anything with lasting potential.  So, it must need the creation of life forms which do not necessarily need the old DNA.  I mean that’s all just waveform and particle anyway, right and all of that in the matrix of realities may, on a good day, just wind up a metaphor.  Right?

“I am filled with thoughts and dreams of those who will come after me, bringing me to them.  I feel part of them.  I think they will reveal themselves.” She looked at me as if far away, weighted by gravity to some lower elevation, deep in the crust of the earth in zones we cannot fathom.

I had been there.  Actually, these places did not occur in the physical Earth we know but as a dimensional warp into an alternate Universe where the mantle of the planet had cooled.  This is why science has not found them yet.  The technology is not there….YET.

“These beings are reptilian.  Evolved almost in humanoid form.  They tell me their civilization is millions of years old.  They have minimal technology as they have developed their nervous systems and physical systems to shift matter without great upsets to the overall balance of things.  They have been able to thrive because they can work with the physical and vibrational forces of the multiverse. Their expertise and elegant technology is far beyond ours!”

“Wow, that’s very cool sweetie…Will you let me in so I can evoke their presence and manifest them.”

“Maybe.  However, I need to know more about them and what they mean for me to them.  I need to know them more deeply.  They told me they don’t mind you…”

“OK.  I will lay back and wait…,” Knowing full well I would not.  I would go through her into them.

She was masturbating.  I feel her every touch and movement. She thought of me and others and lovers among these beings.


I made the conjuration of the inter-dimensional vortex.  My double, encased in dark matter and powered with the lattice of dark energy went through her sexual nervous enervation and into the gateway.  The tunnels twisted and turned and I arrived in a group mind of many personalities, seemingly devoid of ego.  They operate exclusively on a unified purpose of which their individual purposes reflect.  It seemed so unique, I had trouble understanding it.  This egregore had so much unity; my lack of it, limited my comprehension.

They invited me.  They showed me the opening of understanding.  It required complete self-acceptance and Universal acceptance of things seemingly known and unknown.  I resisted.  I let go.  I resisted.  I let go…I saw no harm there.  I saw harmony in a way I’d never experienced as a human.  Their ways and means of living came more clearly into focus.  You will have to meld with us to understand and this will take long experience.  Leave your double behind and we will send it when it seems full enough for you to absorb the information.  Your partner will need to do the same with the hologram as you call it, for her deepest understanding.  We trust her curiosity and know she will grow from us and we will love her as she survives her immersion.

I asked about this and the unified voice answered, “She cannot tell you now.  Our information streaming into her will be different than yours as you are a matured male and she is a woman with a certain as you say, ‘androgyny’.”

They laughed at our terms and their lack of ambiguity from their points of view.

And so I received an upload which I can only give you in part at this point:

 to be continued…














what you imagined

The swagger,

The stumbling drift,

A slurred thought,

Laughter at someone’s hopeful fantasies

Of Death,

The release,

The big sleep…the resting which never ends.

The moments of life pass and come again

In the eternity which validates itself in


Confabulations of the egos

Which influenced belief

Whence came the lands of

Suspension of beliefs and no beliefs

Just tools for more pleasurable moments…




“God fucking damn it!” It came out as a scream at the top of his lungs. He looks again at the leaf pattern in the teacup.
She keeps laughing, “Your fifteen seconds of fame are about to come to an end!”

His face got more and more so crimson in the bright light flooding through the bay windows of their home. They’d bought and paid for everything they owned free and clear with revenue from their creativity, joint and separate. He has a great deal of pride in this. She loves what she does and the work they do together, and the ways in which he works as a solid force of appreciation, present so very consistently. She believes in him and the beauties of what he does. These appreciations go beyond their attraction for each other which by the way have not waned over the years.
He doesn’t like changes not going his way and now the paradigm of his work has come to an impasse which probably necessitates a complete redesign.

No longer angry, his silence has turned to rage.

“Fucking sales of my work have dropped! Why have I lost my popularity in the market? What do you think partner? Does your input in our collaborations keep us buoyed with good revenues there?”
She looked at him with a strength of affection, “Maybe we ought to look at reviews and see what the deterrent seems to be?”

He went a little white in the face and his expression sank looking like shame. “Maybe I haven’t got it on my own anymore. Maybe it’s just the synergy between us which works.”

She smiled lovingly, “No dear. Maybe we need to wait until we have a factual basis before you evaluate. I think your reactions come from hurt feelings and you can be more understanding and compassionate looking in this mirror.”
“You’re so smart and loving not to mention my preference in womanly beauty…”

She wrapped her arms around him from the side and kissed his left cheek and neck. He knew her and support remained strong as ever.

After some surveys and days. He went into meditation and divinations. They gave the messages he had to change to survive and he ought to find some more creative ideas he like which might appeal.

It was 1130pm, he awakened to her kisses and caresses. Inspired they made love and fucked until past three. She fell asleep. He went into the studio with words and riffs. He got started and it felt purposeful.