“Yeah.”, my eyes closed feeling every bit of it beyond measure.
“She’s doing her Alpha cat bit. No worries, she won’t embarrass you.”
Shit. Please not another one of these…
“That’s just weird. Here I am humping your balls off…”
“Yes, and loving it too…”
“Oh yeah. It kinda creeps me out…”
I fell asleep after we came. I have been going hard for longer than most people live. There was black metal in the background from my almost infinite finite playlist.
I felt out of body in another dimension. In another body. It felt like me and didn’t and certainly didn’t look like me. What? How am I seeing myself feeling like I am inside this body, not a share mind you? I am now feeling the doom which precludes the insane plunge out of control into the vortex of the abyss. It feels like a dry retching of blood and intestinal content gases. Needing to vomit and not able. It feels like an endless cycle of the pain of knowing I am dead, body still feeling it…
“Everything always made perfect sense when we connected in this trance. Sorry, I know you like to call it a state. However, this state comes on automatically with multiple anchors. We don’t miss…”
I could feel the greatest pleasures we’d ever had…there seemed to be almost endless memories merging into one scenario. Now touching her again when something with a pungent stench grabbed her in less than a blur. She’s gone wow.
A giant black paw with beyond razor-sharp claws now swiped out in front of me.
A great burst of opalescent slime squirted and filled the fields I perceived, and I felt like I was in a vacuum, safe. The great claws swiped through all the doom and I awoke to a cold feline nose and what might soon become mewing.
There she stands, ready to squeak meow, looking at me with golden eyes. I feel safe. The woman is snoring turned away from me on her side. It feels comfortable. We’ll have quite a bit more pleasure.
The tiny black Bombay Cat moved to the foot of the bed, laying down, her head in the other dimension. On watch.
She had done an all – nighter preparing for another useless business task at a price that fills the pockets of her masters.
Someone else came up out of the earth at that moment. Heavy density, the origin like gravity, like the 4th force of the universe. He, She, it, animate, inanimate, phantom like yet harder and denser than the most dense matter from the stars. This life form he was dealing with had reached a its dead end. Of course, this often happens with many species. They reach a point where they cannot adapt and surviveWill these humans evolve into another humanoid like form? Will they be able to adapt to the conditions they have created in their foolish lack of forsight?
Not to worry, it would feel nice to do some whimsical things.
It reached into itself and pulled out several scenarios.
In this moment, a handsome young man made his way to the coffee bar. Behind him came our female friend lost in her anxiety over finishing her work project. She could smell him, sending a warm wave from her third eye to her groin. She saw herself with this man, whereupon he turned around. He very gently placed a hand in the small of her back. He looked into her eyes, and she pressed her mouth on his, touching the tip of his tongue with hers.
This was like a dream come true. How could this happen this way? How could this happen so quickly?
He ordered his coffee with his arm around her waist, she nuzzling her nose and lips into his neck. She felt very secure and confident for what she had to do in an hour and a half and he ordered exactly what she wanted without having to ask. They got their coffee and retired to a table outside obscured from the view of others. They took a few sips of their coffee, staring each into each other’s eyes, hands touching. She had on a skirt to her knees, no panties; a plaid with blues, greens and black with a black skin tight top, no bra. Her voice made his cock rock hard. She sensed it and opened his pants, freeing it in into the morning air. Her right hand found the tip giving the motion, which is perfect for him while his tongue probed her mouth, leaving the coffees on the table. Soon she was in his lap, burying his cock in her wet quim, and squeezing it with the muscles made fit from those hundreds of thousands of Kegels she did for years. They kissed wildly. Her vagina massaged that rock hard pulsing penis and felt the cum rising out of his balls several times, which she halted mid shaft, giving him the shivers of body orgasms she was experiencing. For some reason, this drew people walking by.
People pulled in, parked, getting out of their cars, getting some coffee of their own, some of them engaging in their own orgies and couplings. Meanwhile, on the street, two cars smashed head on with a fire truck close behind them, full of firefighters also after their coffee. They parked mid street, walked in and ordered before they extracted the injured and dead from the wreck.
Our friend from up out of the earth was laughing now. Here once again, some sex and death with a decrepit species. It wasn’t the great energy fucks he was used to in his interdimensional travels. Not so unlike other lower life forms he encountered, conjugating and fucking and exchanging genetic information. This is a species fast becoming infertile. Not only in body, also in thinking and neuro evolution. It felt pleasant to watch death filling the street with blood and shit from spilled guts, and to feel the fucking and the bodily fluid exchange from those who were oblivious to the carnage which had occurred outside.
Now in another dream on another day, the new POTUS and his cronies had gathered together to cause the destruction of the administration they hated so much. In this moment, the generals and the elite strike force they created needed for such a coup and execution, rushed into the room, weapons raised, killing all. At that point, another weapon was introduced, which disintegrates organic matter, and all traces of them vanished. Not even dust remained.
Back at the coffee shop on that other day, people changed partners and continued to fuck and fuck and fuck. The firefighters watched and drank their coffee. The cops showed up, the forensics team showed up. A lady coroner arrived who should have been a pin up in some men’s magazine from the 1950s. She grabbed the battalion chief on the fire truck who was another pin up from the calendars some cougar women hang on their walls. They grabbed each other and lay in the blood and shit and piss in the street and created a fuck fest spectacle that even the worst scat porn people will shit their pants watching….
Yes, she crawled in my bed with me after a couple of days of affection. She lay next to me enjoying her sleep, having her rest. And there in a presence of “maybe he’ll wake up and we’ll have a passionate three-day fuck and love fest”, I did wake up with a throbbing hurt. It seemed so proud like a blurred vision for some and sharp for others of an ever-lengthening Priapus moment. We celebrated each other. I knew her every inch, passionately in touch, smell and the vision and sounds of her writhing in ecstasy.
She had little use for my compassionate masculinity of well lived in BALLS.
She held tightly and kissed perfectly. She grasped the explosions of my innermost fuckIloveyouandyouknowitastrue.
When she isolated and separated temporarily I got busy for my day like always. It always worked in the end and at least served as a reminder about keeping on and moving forward no matter what. In good faith, it didn’t work to take anything to do with her personally. Both of us did what we thought we wanted to do almost regardless of consequences which got fewer and fewer in keeping our word to ourselves. Yes, there occurred anger and consternation. Yes, we argued at lower and lower volume. Yes, we planned better than make up sex.
I got to act like a force field around her vulnerability. Just presence and appreciation makes it work.
It generates in parts from both of us.
She came through the field with creative action enthralling everyone in various ways.
There’s a lot of chatter about Islam and its evils. Yes, the various sects of this faith have some radical variants which want to impose their rigid way of life on everyone. When we compare this to radical evangelical Christians and their collateral murderous spin offs we don’t see a lot of differences. They have all killed about the same amount of people. I am wondering if the same can be said about Judaism on a proportionate basis. At any rate, they have incited, mostly involuntarily, evangelicals and inspired radical Islamists to aid or destroy them. Zionists have an equal part in the “monotheist” paradigm for their level of contribution.
At any rate, if these religions get widely accepted as mythology and their codes debunked along with the mythologies of other religions – Hinduism and Buddhism are not exempt – we may have a chance to free up humanity long enough to save life on the planet.
That the Abrahamic mythologies affect at least 3.5B people on the planet seems great cause for a rational activism in educating the masses. The religions are all myth. There was no Abraham, no Moses, no Solomon, no Jesus, no Mohammed going to heaven – none of this. Scholars have shown repeatedly that the old Testament is rife with myth until 600BCE and there’s no historic or archeological proof for any of the mythical figures or real historic figures and their mythos. Most of these religions got established through warfare and the subjugation of peoples and cultures – yes even Buddhism.
This getting stated, can we afford sacred cows in our societies and cultures? Should we allow ancient, outdated, repressive codes to determine our destiny? Oddly enough, the erroneous beliefs and thinking have shaped the destiny of our world through a dark and distorted lens which does not practice what it preaches about the sanctity of life and the exaltation of the worth of life on Earth. I have little wonder at the presence of the apocalyptic beliefs rife in most of the Abrahamic religions and their predecessors. It looks a like a neurotic, human lemming delusion. Our species – seeking unconsciously – to extinct itself as another failed species “experiment”. The natural phenomena of industrialization puking poison into the environment posits this distinct possibility all around us. If capitalism seems like an outgrowth of industrialized civilization, so far, the system has shown us a clear path to extinction. These economies rule the world and destroy it as we live and still breathe.
The fact we have thought of numerous solutions to our manifested destiny can give glimmers of a way out toward survival. Capitalism has it’s uses however, we don’t think runaway consumerism can do anything except destroy us as it seems to already have proved. Should our estimates turn out wrong, it won’t harm us and life on the planet to go to nonpolluting, renewable energies and the production of ecologically sound products and lifestyles. Maybe we can do as Buckminster Fuller postulated. Maybe Malthus had a point? Nonetheless, overpopulation and our current consumptive human world seem the likely root cause of it all. We really have not shown the significant improvements which will result in our survival and evolution to more adapted levels. Maybe our collective genomes have reached their endpoint?
On the doomsday timeclock, it we accept the model, we are beyond the 11th hour and must motivate ourselves to act NOW. We must clean up in many ways. We must base our economic systems so that small groups of people and families do not control the well-being of our species as they do not have this in mind for the most part and this system stays in epic fail mode. Greed and selfishness will spell our demise unless opportunity gets created for making the greatest profits ever without prophets.
We all know money must get out of politics. We know countries don’t run well like businesses and the goals of most corporations and large private businesses do not coincide with the needs of the people who largely support them. Religion needs to get placed in a recreational category and ought not get taken seriously except to provide a vehicle of transcendence. We must get united behind our survival and enhancement of life on this planet as we won’t find ourselves able to leave it in time to avoid our extinction. So, casting aside the divisiveness in “scripture” for the unifying principles which also seem inherent in our species might wind up the best solution. We can spend our time caring for our planet and hence one another. We can forge a new destiny other than our imminent demise. Those who prove the thinking and beliefs causing greed and its irresponsibility will have to get pushed out of the way so we can live on.
It will only work if we can change our pursuit of pleasure into the pleasurable pursuit of our deepest caring for each other.
In my most existentialist beliefs, I learned to view my “self” (egoistic construct as coping mechanism?) in three relationships.
my relationship to myself
my relationship to others
my relationship to God or divine source
All of this I had pondered as a teenager, who, having massive insecurities, questioned my consciousness and the illusion of existence. Mahayana Buddhist philosophy seemed a way toward the inner peace of knowing I didn’t exist and nothing was real. My job seemed about learning and practicing the eight-fold path, in the NOW. Much of this awareness seemed to come from psychedelic experiences. In short, the best trips involved the knowing and feeling of connectedness to the fundamental forces which unify the seeming ALL. Later, in discovering the Eight circuits of consciousness in Leary’s model, it seemed I had bounced between the seventh and eighth circuits in the perceptions of in and out of body experiences, missing a much of the sixth circuit (metaprogramming).
The main divine connection felt like the motherlode of all, the feeling of complete connectedness which started physically and eventually got perceived as “pure” consciousness. This perception and how it feels remains tangible and at once unfathomable and infinite beyond physical perception. To label it otherwise seems like a blasphemy except for purposes of illumination. It can take many forms which can work to model traits, actions and characteristics of various entities in the accomplishment of my purpose. Finding purpose seemed the fundament, even though the “I” had little idea as such.
I acted in vain to define myself through others and my relations to them. This reality tunnel mostly failed because I had little purpose and no realization of its presence or formation. In this my ego gravitated to self-annihilation in a limited set. This wound up in self-deprecation and self-loathing to the point of the desire to painlessly dissolve and disappear from this world. This state proved painfully unrewarding. It seemed like a denial of hedonism giving only frustration, shame, and depressions which seemed unending. Still trapped in the belief telling me intellectual understanding provided a solution and solace little progress occurred.
It must have happened via too much drug use in various combinations this thinking eventually said as the beliefs of parents, professionals and preachers worked as the predominant patterns. Charismatic Christianity and the attendant nonsense served like a way out of the mess of all of it in my early twenties leaving only too much angst about life. Finally, it gave way to some lesser materialist viewpoints of those around me and I once again took on the phony embrace of my perception of the American Dream. My earlier pre-Christian views got submerged beneath the religiosity and my hypocritical practice of it. Once again, more angst about life.
In my early and mid-thirties, it seemed apparent this way of living did not work well and my obligation to personal responsibilities slipped out the window. Finally, at thirty-four years old a basic plan emerged. Get away from the drugs and people who use drugs. I did it and exchanged that addiction to the cult obeisance of the cult of Narcotics Anonymous. This I embraced along with intellectual and contrived meditations of the Tao, seen and unseen. The eight-fold path also got corresponded with the 12 Steps of NA, at first seemingly very open and accepting of other correspondences to the cult. Fortunately, the most powerful tool in overcoming addiction – peer support worked to knock the malady down and got me to realize the self I had formed previously and presently. I saw the folly of attempting to discover my “true self” and who I am or had been and the overblown significance in my belief system in those times. After years of practice in those steps and living the lies of an apologist via tolerating believers, I knew I didn’t have a disease and the “program” as very toxic unless adapted to a more humane, less self-deprecating model. I sought less and less peer approval in developing self-esteem and began to live my life as I saw fit with confidence. It took about fifteen to twenty years to realize the program didn’t serve me and I didn’t need to count votes pro or con amongst peers who remained or left the “Program”. In this a self-got realized and actualized. I had an identity with less contrivance out of social, professional, and familial acceptability. I had embarked on a more genuine relationship with myself with less ego traps.
Still, there seemed a great deal of selfishness so I consistently performed unselfish acts. Some had ulterior motive in a caretaking sense, others out of duty to others, and others still for the joy of doing something unselfishly.
In the mid to late teens, I wanted to depend on others for my view of myself instead of using them as a reflection of my actions and attitude which I grew into later. It seemed to get out of control in my mid-twenties to early thirties due to self-delusions resulting in erroneous perception filters and erratic actions. I took everything too personally, felt threatened constantly and used my words as poisoned munitions against myself and others – beliefs and behaviors which have taken many years to replace. Today, still a work in progress.
I have much affection for many friends, family, and lovers. I attempt to find out what makes them feel loved and if it doesn’t compromise my self-care, I give to them. It gets a little tough when I engage with people who have behaviors which I tend to take personally so I strive to stay away from those situations and appreciate them at a safe distance. In my drive to be loved by others, I must pay attention and determine if I am seeking reciprocation from the unwilling and willing yet incapable of it. Most of my disappointments with others have origins in the latterly so constant vigilance with a minimum, if not devoid of self-judgement seem necessary.
From this value comes in taking care of me so I can serve others and myself in a realization of the all connectedness I feel when out of the self-created anxieties of daily life.
the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or takenaway.
restoration or return to health from sickness.
restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.
When we discuss the term in terms of overcoming addiction we know the consensus definition in the majority of addiction “recovery” communities comes from the disease model:
restoration or return to health from sickness.
When many discover addiction is not a disease this term gets erroneous.
Most will apologize by taking on
restoration or return to any former and better state or condition.
However, this is out of context.
When we return, or move forward to another state from those which occur in addiction it has to do with belief and behavioral modification after detoxification in the case of drugs/alcohol and moderation or abstinence in other behavioral variants like gambling, sex, food, and etc. Each of which may require a peculiar first strategy.
In moving away from the highly unsuccessful 12 Step model – it’s not attractive to most who have a problem with addiction, mostly having to do with the religiosity involved and the cultist atmosphere in meetings along with the attendant brainwashing. There are some out of the many who experience addiction whom have had success in overcoming addictions and went on to live productive happy lives. Most of the data indicates people stop and change on their own without treatment or without a 12 Step program.
The numbers are too woefully small to give great kudos to the Stepper model. It seems best described as working for some.
Moving beyond the latterly model (I used it for 23 years and found addiction a symptom of erroneous beliefs and traumatic imprints, leaving the value of twelve steps as a superficial fix instead of a complete renovation) I didn’t have a spiritual problem as there was no spirit involved except attitude and the relativism of terms as such had to get cast aside. I had a problem with self-loathing which a God could not change. It made me want to check out of reality. I woke up every day hating myself and life, basically staying busy, just to stay busy and getting loaded hoping to somehow make my life bearable. I had successes more than failures and some very acute “bottoms”. The reality seemed a chronic depression enhanced by drugs.
Rather than go through the many regimens I worked to get this out of me I can tell you it boiled down to assessing how well I had loved and respected myself and how I would improve it.
I decided to love myself and my life and over time things changed and got better so if a lapse in my self-care occurred I learned to right myself at some point and experience greater improvement. To this day, I am still improving not expecting perfection (another erroneous term IMO).
Key in these things, I believe, comes from making a decision and developing a plan to stop, moderate, change behavior and belief, and learn to love and appreciate life. Practicing the cherishing of ourselves on a consistent, daily basis has given great benefits. For me the biggest changes came when I decided my attitude had everything to do with my treatment of myself and others. Not thinking the best or the worst – staying out of judgements of any kind and sticking with impeccable belief, thought, and action patterns and realizing mistakes will be made and new strategies can develop from them. Productive strategies which give collectively beneficial results.
I have also seen the value of loving support from those who truly love us, no strings attached. I also believe this has an integral part in conquering addiction and learning to live a life of self-love and appreciation inside an outside this bag of flesh, housing consciousness.
It seemed so nice on this autumn day. Like most things seemingly tragic or catastrophic, a great entropic moment would happen as so many had before.
So sad it felt to see so many with great opportunity in front of them cast them aside for emotional whimsy. To fabricate and exaggerate statements into lies and hurtful hate like a poison to destroy friendships. Some friendships are stronger than deceitful and hurt based treachery. Too many felonious behaviors come from these distortions and deletions of speech. So much so they become value judgement generalizations which turn into the lies which attempt to destroy love.
The seeds for the compassion and kindness which nullifies the deep pain from which all these things ensue had been planted in the past by the thoughtful event planner. Deviating the course of events before their onset had great result in the lesser determined future.
Now, the bonds would change and there would occur nor persist fetters which hinder the growth of love and simple commitment. Poisonous repeats of poison words would come back to curse the distorter and deletist via lack of a solution. There would be no harm, no victim, only the responsible. Those who repeat statements of malignment from the point of view of the black mirror, ignoring the white mirror assessment would find themselves burned by their instigations and prevarications…
The defenses would not be needed, nor would the attacks succeed. The hypersensitivities would show themselves as insecurity and narcissism. All attempts to divide would dissipate into more loyalty.
b (1):fidelity to one’s promises (2): sincerity of intentions
a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion
b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust
: something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially: a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>
— on faith
: without question <took everything he said on faith>
Oh we must protest here!
Firstly, we have thrown out trust; baby, bathwater and all!
We can only go on a person’s reliability. When they give their word to do something, do they keep it and how consistently it happens.
Most atheists I have encountered-there have been hundreds-attempted God and religion to no avail. No amount of praying and openmindedness reveal a God who had their back. On a good day, some folks showed up to help and usually the person got their strategy together and succeeded. Other times no amount of faithful practice and belief resulted in a desired outcome…why? There IS NO GOD except the bullshit in your head.
Certainly there is no Judeo-Christian(lol, previously demonstrated as an erroneous term), Abrahamic God. No Jesus ever existed
Have no faith in the Lord, except below my belt line when I love you my dear. For he is the Lord of the night and pleasure and the true strength of the flesh!!!
The Lord of the Old and New Testaments is a mixed bag, really a mish mosh of Old Mesopotamian deities and Hellenistic and Egyptian dying gods. All a contrivance. Maybe good for some old fashioned hijacking of entity workings…most of which will not find its way into the minds of the muggles. All bullshit contrived for your paternal yearnings.
So much of this garbage is extolled by women, sometimes I think it’s their daddy complex and their wanting to be saved by someone. Oh my princess, await my coming to your rescue.
So let’s dispense with faith maybe except- b (1): fidelity to one’s promises (2) : sincerity of intentions.
Enough written about this shit. And I mean no insult to shit, which does have good use sometimes.
: a power that is believed to control what happens in the future
: the things that will happen to a person or thing : the future that someone or something will have
This one gets me wondering…
The first one is kinda scary and may have some roots in faith, especially in a negative intent.
Maybe the second one has more plausibility?
Maybe it’s something to get experienced after the acceptance of faith and a God toilet of predestination?
Maybe it’s just another bullshit term best rooted in dismissal?
Certainly if we dismiss faith we may not consider our fates after the fact????
The most favored context has to do with help and approval from God…once again, what God? What’s the mythology here? Usually it is the bastardized form of the YahWeh-Jesus myth mess. People seem to love to give credit for subjectively favorable events which happen to their version of the imaginary friend…Fuck. How much could you be out of touch with the fruits of your own efforts? Does it come down to the prevailing thought that you do “the footwork” and “God” is in charge of the results? So carrying this a step further, have you set an intention and pushed an enchantment with a definite set of results desired? So how does this mechanism work? Enchantment and/or Invocation/Prayer?
The “magical” apologists among the “live and let live” throng would like to include everyone in the general context it seems…Well, OK. It causes the wondering at effectiveness of results…do you suppose?
At one point, I began blessing myself in several ways by writing down things I had gratitude from. Then I began to count my “blessings”, devoid of a God form or Supreme Identity. This went further in me extending my best wishes…er, intentions toward others, regardless of their approval or opinion (Uh oh, was I going against their will for themselves?)
In the end, for the sake of clarity, I dropped my usage of the word for personal communication, using instead, words less abstracted and more to the point of actual intentions and event occurrences. When used the word usually evokes the Abrahamic God nonsense out of folks and I really like staying away from it and it’s semantic cesspool.
noun mir·a·cle \ˈmir-i-kəl\
: an unusual or wonderful event that is believed to be caused by the power of God
: a very amazing or unusual event, thing, or achievement
: an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
: an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
Christian Science: a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law
This word is another unnecessary embellishment adjective. Really there are no miracles. Perhaps there is an art to working wonders and that might get called thaumaturgy. The word is used primarily to give credit to the non-existent Christian “god” for anonymous or prayed for wonders. Occurrences which seemingly have a low probability. These things happen naturally and are usually explainable rationally or scientifically and when not, it’s just a matter of the lack of technology or science to explain them. All else is bullshit.
the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.
the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, or as believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come:
arguing the immortality of the soul.
the disembodied spirit of a deceased person:
He feared the soul of the deceased would haunt him.
the emotional part of human nature; the seat of the feelings or sentiments.
a human being; person.
high-mindedness; noble warmth of feeling, spirit or courage, etc.
the animating principle; the essential element or part of something.
This term is a tragic irrational. We have no soul as defined here. This doesn’t negate the occurrence of an information stream or consciousness artifact which has a remnant after our deaths. A stream or events which represented our footprint in these. However, we don’t scientifically have the technology as yet to identify and verify this. Thus, at this point all this is erroneous and a waste of time as a noun in language.
All the effort devoted to the nonsense of these three words gets wasted. It seems we’ll stay better off not using them and defining and identifying our happiness and live our lives and posit our attitudes with gratitude and love rather than attempting to get esoteric unnecessarily, especially when the words primarily espouse one of the most deadly and destructive belief system viruses known to mankind.